The Compass of Shame

The Compass of Shame


The compass of shame was created by Donald Nathanson to help clinicians and clients understand what happens when shame is encountered. Dr. Nathanson defines shame as the interruption of positive affect. That simplistic view makes it easy for me to help clients understand that when they are going about the business of their daily life, enjoying the day, and anything that interrupts that enjoyment or interest, causes shame. I am putting the compass of shame on the blog today because almost every article I have written on shame refers to this compass in one way or another. As, a result I can keep referring people to the blog on June 23rd, 2011 and not have to recreate this simple formula for each article.

According to the Compass of Shame, what do we do when we experience shame? We react in one of four ways, usually a blend of the four reactions. They are:

ATTACK SELF--- ( SELF-DISGUST AND SELF-DISMELL AFFECT)
Demonstrated by:
Shyness

Deference

Masochistic Behaviors

AVOID----(EXCITEMENT-FEAR AFFECT)

The sense of a defective self - that often leads of addictive behavior

Compares and competes

Creates false self

WITHDRAWAL---(DISTRESS -FEAR AFFECT)

Atypical depression (self-hatred root)

Becomes overwhelmed by excessive worry or flooding of memories

Avoids eye contact and isolates socially

ATTACK OTHERS--- (ANGER-RAGE AFFECT)

Blocks any attempt to look at self

Estranges others

Refines the “power over” theme