YOUR LIFE A-Z: FORGIVE

NATURE IS A SAFE HEALING SPACE

FORGIVE-FORGIVENESS

The words FORGIVE and Forgiveness are complicated and often misunderstood.  Yesterday, The Twenty Minute Coach spoke about Expiate, making right our wrongs by doing some action that costs us energy, resources, and humility.  FORGIVENESS is a more complicated process.  A victim who has been harmed by someone else’s actions FORGIVES by intentionally and voluntarily letting go of vengeful and angry feelings toward the perpetrator.  This is a process of multiple actions and work.  If one FORGIVES before they work through the feelings of hurt, betrayal and anger then FORGIVENESS is an empty action.  To truly FORGIVE is work and does not come easy.  Being hurt is a part of life.  We have a choice to harbor our hurts and become bitter, hostile, and angry old people or we can choose to FORGIVE.  Many times the lack of being able to FORGIVE does not hurt those who victimized us but hurts us instead.  If you notice you have become hateful and bitter, do an inventory of the people and hurts that have built up inside of you.  They are like prisoners and you must release them in order for you to be free.  Emotional freedom is such an exhilarating feeling of personal accomplishment and leaves you with a sense of contentment.  A simple way to start is to write journal letters to those on your list above.  Start there and notice how your heart begins to change over the next few weeks as you choose to FORGIVE those you hold responsible for your pain.  You can’t change what happened, only how you cope with it. 

YOUR LIFE A-Z: EXPIATE

ALWAYS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR A FRESH START

EXPIATE

EXPIATE means to make amends or to make things right for a wrong that you committed.  In order to move forward with your life, it is important to forgive yourself for your shortcomings, humanity, and out and out wrongs that you have committed.  Sometimes self-forgiveness is hard and often becomes a possibility if there is some action you can take to EXPIATE yourself in the situation.  In fairy tales, often times the witch requires EXPIATION for a sin committed by the protagonist or a family member of the protagonist.  In the story of the Baker, the witch required a cow, a cape, and a slipper to EXPIATE the Baker’s father.  The Catholic Church has a built in confessional where the Priest often gives the penitent something to do to EXPIATE their sin.  They might have to say so many rosaries or make a financial offering to a charity to EXPIATE his/her wrongdoing.  Sometimes this simple action of doing something active to EXPIATE one’s wrong is just what the doctor ordered to alleviate the awful feeling of guilt.  Knowing that you put forth effort to fix your wrong doing then it is easier to put your wrongs behind you and allow the freedom of changed behavior to fill up that gnawing empty ache inside.  In AA, members devote a lot of time and energy to make amends (EXPIATE) for past wrongs caused by their addiction.  What do you need to make right today?  What is it you need to do to EXPIATE yourself so that you are emotionally free?  Now do it.