YOUR LIFE A-Z: NAUGHTY OR NICE

NICE IS SOMETIMES OVER-RATED!!! 

NAUGHTY OR NICE

These two words, NAUGHTY or NICE have been traditional words flowing from Santa Claus’s mouth from the beginning of time.  Santa is checking to see if you have been NAUGHTY or NICE speak to the duality of the western mind.  It is as if we are preconditioned to an all or nothing way of being in the world.  Life is not intended to be measured by the words NAUGHTY or NICE.  The dictionary definitions of each word are miles apart.  NAUGHTY implies being disobedient where NICE implies being pleasant.  NAUGHTY is a direct bad action whereas, NICE is sort of innocuous, a non-action neither positive of negative.   If you are honest with yourself, NAUGHTY seems more interesting whereas NICE seems boring.  Thus, I invite you to break free of this Santa of duality, NAUGHTY OR NICE and enjoy being a person who practices meekness and allow yourself to be truly present to life’s situations as they comes at you. Sometimes saying “no” to a situation or an invitation is going to feel NAUGHTY.  However, in this instance, not over-extending yourself is a NICE thing to do for you and your family.  Do not allow yourself to spend endless moments of anxiety worrying about other people’s feelings and expectations.  Be NICE to yourself and everything else will fall into place.  Reducing your stress and discovering that not everything has to be completed perfectly, more times than not will feel NAUGHTY. But the reduction of stress will feel so NICE.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:HELP

HELP COMES IN MANY COLORS

HELP

Oh my, what is the difference between the four letter word HELP and the four letter word GIVE? Clearly the words are similar.  They both require compassion, kindness, and mindfulness.   The Twenty-Minute Coach invites you to think about the word HELP as something that really needs to be done.  If someone has fallen then he/she will appreciate your HELP in getting up. When you respond to a disaster situation with physical labor then you are HELPING verses just giving money.  The giving of money, of course, is HELP.  HELP is action that requires you to do something outside of your normal routine and giving is something you practice at least during the holiday season.  How do you HELP?   How do you go beyond what is expected of you and HELP your family and friends?  How do you HELP strangers?  First and foremost, HELP yourself.   Self HELP means going out of your normal and natural patterns to actively participate in changing something to HELP your life better.  HELP also allows us to feel good about our actions of compassion and kindness.  It is important to acknowledge that you are not alone on this planet and reach out to others to ask for HELP.  Asking for HELP is not sign of weakness, it is an act of courage to acknowledge that you can’t do everything all by yourself.  Allow others the gift of feeling good about themselves by allowing them to HELP you.  I am asking for your HELP.  I want 500 likes on IN A MOMENT’S NOTICE page by the end of July.  HELP me by suggesting to your friends that 

YOUR LIFE A-Z:XYLASTIC

EXPRESSION TRANSFORMED INTO MUSIC

XYLASTIC

XYLASTIC is a product that covers areas that need to be waterproofed.  XYLASTIC keeps the water from penetrating through areas and damaging the underlying structure.  As humans, we often wear our emotions and reactions on our sleeve, spit them out of our mouth, or show them too readily on our face.  Emotions are emotions, a blend of your biology and your feelings.  When Weaning away from some of your less mature choices and actions, XYLASTIC may come in handy.  Practice thinking before you speak and pondering the whole picture before you react.  Waterproofing your emotions is an adult action that allows you to maintain adult behavior and composure.  Your emotions are yours and are not necessarily anyone else’s business.  Just because you are feeling something does not mean you have to share it.  Practice not allowing other people’s opinions or words to seep deep into your soul. Other people can have differing opinions but that does not make your opinions wrong. Other people have a right to voice or express themselves even if they are rude.  You can use your voice to say, “I find that statement offensive (or rude).”  That is different than allowing your anger to spike and spew out emotional words like, “I can’t believe you are so damn insensitive.”  The first statement takes ownership and uses an “I” statement.  “I find that statement offensive is a fact.  It is neither a feeling nor really a judgment.  To call someone insensitive is name calling and judgmental.  Use some XYLASTIC protectionto mediate difficult situations and conversations.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:WEAN

Nurturing Mother Knows How to Wean

WEAN

Now that you have given yourself permission to celebrate your Victories, it is time to focus on feeding yourself rather than continuing to be fed.  In one context WEAN means to cut back on relying on mother’s milk and adding some sustaining adult food to the program.  That requires that you WEAN yourself.  You cut back on how you have been relying on other’s advice, presence, and time and you take responsibility toward being the CEO of your life.  I am not suggesting that you become an island to yourself as that would prevent inter-dependence, and a healthy self is interdependent on those around them.  Inter-dependence is a give and take relationship, but dependence is often one sided and becomes very tiring to the person you are always “needy” of.  You are an adult and you can take the responsibility to be an adult in situations that often make you feel like you are going to crumble.  What situation or situations in your life are you relying on someone else’s opinion, money, resources, advice or approval in order for you to feel okay about yourself?  How can you start taking baby steps to WEAN yourself from being so reliant on others and act more self-reliant?  WEAN yourself away not only from others but also from credit card debt, overeating, addictive behavior, and laziness.  Those are all habits that we can easily find ourselves in, so it is important to start cutting back today and adding steps of personal responsibility.

YOUR LIFE A-Z: LIMiT

BE CLEAR

LIMIT

This is a fun word.  Know your limits.  Do you?  Or do you only discover your limit when your kid, partner, friend or boss pushes you one more time and you explode?   All of us have limits but most of us have no clue as to what they are; and as a result, end up tired, frayed, uptight, and angry because we are over stressed, over worked and over committed.  It is your responsibility to post your limits so that others know what to expect from you.  Perhaps you have noticed when you are driving in a new town and you have driven for a bit and do not see a speed limit sign and you get a bit anxious.  “Oh no, I wonder if it’s 25 or 40 miles per hour here?”  If you are going 40 MPH in a 25 MPH zone you are going to get a ticket.  So it is best to go a little slower until you know for sure what your limits are.  Everything and everyone has limits.  A LIMIT is a good thing.  It is not a bad, weak, or mean thing. A LIMIT lets others know what is expected and it is easy to co-exist in your environment when everyone knows what to expect.  It is important to spend sometime defining your limits in the various arenas of your life.  What are your limits at work, with friends, kids, or yourself?  Define them and begin to live within them.  You will be less stressed when you do this.  Just in the last A-Z I asked your to make a time-limit when trying to choose something different.  Great tool to try. 

YOUR LIFE A-Z :HAPPY

HAPPY

What is happy to you?  What are you really saying when you say I just want to be happy?  As I have said,  “Happiness is not an illusion, but neither is it a destination.”  I see it as a space within you.  The dictionary defines contentment as a place of happiness and satisfaction.  Being HAPPY is a space or place wherethere is a reservoir of positive energy, decorated with fond memories, and an invitation to sit and enjoy the present moment, using all of your senses of smell, taste, touch, hear, and feel.  Experiencing the moment is a space within you as the moment passed already, so it is a pause button of HAPPY.  HAPPY space is a choice.  We can choose to focus on bad memories, ugly situations, and things in the past that were not fair.  Or we can choose to be anxious and worry about every possible thing that can go wrong in the future or we can place the present moment on “pause,” and allow ourselves to switch channels in our head and enjoy the creation of HAPPY.  If we did this as often as we check our Facebook every day imagine how lush, lovely, and exhilarating our HAPPY space could become.  We would enjoy going there to experience the joy of being alive, as well as the moment of sweet contentment in the facts.  These are the facts: If you are reading this you are alive, be grateful.  If you are grateful you will count your blessings and if you count your blessings you will enter your HAPPY space.  Yep…that is fact.  

YOUR LIFE A-Z:PRAISE

NATURE PRAISES EVERYDAY JUST BECAUSE IT IS

PRAISE

PRAISE is defined as warm approval and admiration for someone who has done their job well. Praise is a certain type of positive energy that is contagious. For instance, at the end of a singing performance often times the audience in stand-up and applaud for the performer.  However, if you look around it takes two or three brave souls to stand up first and then the entire audience follows suit.  You need to PRAISE yourself on a daily basis for the positive choices that you made today to get yourself where you want to be.  

You got out of bed and maybe you didn’t even want to, but you did.  Give yourself around of applause.  Say good job, you acted as adult today on your own behalf rather than giving in to the blahs.  If you are sick and you stayed in bed, then good for you too. It is not helpful to push yourself when you are sick because it only makes you worse instead of better, so congratulate yourself for good self care.  Make a list of self care choices that you made during this trip through the TWENTY MINUTE COACH:Your Life A-Z and praise yourself for better self care during the year.  By using PRAISE you are creating positive feelings that benefit your immune system and your action plan by helping you do more of what is working already.  PRAISE will increase you productivity and joy in all that you are accomplishing. You will get more out of yourself and others when you use PRAISE often.