YOUR LIFE A-Z PRACTICE

TAKE A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE

PRACTICE

Contrary to the popular saying "Practice makes perfect," practice does not make perfect. Perfection does not exist.  Regardless of how much a professional athlete or pianist practice, there is always a possibility of a bad game or not so perfect performance.  The difference is that practice, daily practice, improves your odds of having more good days than bad ones; and that results in having a happier life.  It is a guarantee that if you do not practice, you will have more bad days than good ones; and you will not achieve your goals as soon as you would like, and sometimes you will not achieve them at all. By practicing, you improve your odds, your skill, your acuity, and your ability.  Without practice you are not as able to adjust to life's curve balls.  When expected things happen, you may not have the agility to be flexible or resourceful.  As a result, you repeat old habits of coping that give you the same bad results you had in the past.  The old depression and victim mentality sets in.  When this starts there is only one thing to do and that is to get back up and return to practice.  Buddhist refer to prayer and meditation as practice.  They also refer to compassion as a practice.  If we reframe the striving for perfection to the practice of practicing we are more than likely to enjoy working toward our goals and achieving our dreams.

YOUR LIFE A-Z OCCUPY

OCCUPY ALL WITH LIGHT

OCCUPY

Yes, it is okay to occupy the space you need and the dreams and desires you have.  Why dream if you cannot occupy them?  In this first few months of the twenty-minute coach, I have talked about action words that get us out of our comfort zone and into a mental, spiritual, and positive emotional space of action allowing us to use our own best resource, ourselves.  Thus it is time to move in and take possession of ourselves, our choices, decisions, and dreams.  If we are not getting to a space where our lives are producing what we desire, then we are not occupying the decisions that we need to be making.  We are wishing, but wishing changes nothing.  By now we are old enough to know that Santa Claus does not exist.  Thus, the only way we are going to get what we want is to take the risk to move in the territory we want and set up camp.  That means we disable negative thinking and enable positive action.  I mean think about it, positive thinking helps us feel better, but it does not get the job done.  Action gets the job done.  To occupy the territory (goal or dream) that you desire requires responsibility.  You are head of state and you have to delegate jobs to your brain, body, and spirit.  To think about meditation, yoga, health, is not the same as doing something.  To occupy is to act. To act is to be responsible.  You cannot occupy your dream unless you act with sole responsibility.  It is up to you!

YOUR LIFE A-Z NEED

LIFE NEEDS LIGHT TO GROW

NEED

Before we start down this road of exploration, it is important to pay attention to what your body experiences when you read this "N" word.  Do you experience a negative sensation in your body?  Do judgements rush to the foreground of your mind?  It is important to explore your judgements, ideas, and feeling about the word NEED.  What are your needs?  Can you say them out loud?  List three really specific needs. For instance, say "I need to feel loved."  What does that look like, feel like, and what actions are required for you to know you are loved?  Is it financial security?  Think about that. If financial security is a necessity for you to experience feeling loved, then what happens to your feeling of love if circumstances drastically change and your partner can no longer provide for you?  Or what happens to your self-love if your financial situation changes?  Do you trash yourself or do you just flat-out pretend you don't need anything?  How does that work for you?  To not admit that you need anything is a very sad position to live in because it essentially means you are not willing to risk anything.  In one sense it is such a guarded position that is a very selfish position. One of the roots of selfishness is protection or defence, and to not acknowledge your needs.  If you are thirsty and need water what do you do?  Do you go get a drink of water or do you expect someone else to bring you water?  The answer to that question tells you a lot about yourself.  Learn to be bold with what you need?

YOUR LIFE A-Z:MAGNETIC

FOLLOW YOUR HEART

MAGNETIC

Do you feel attracted to certain people, places, hobbies, or careers and wonder why?  I think we worry too much about the why’s of our lives and do not allow ourselves to follow that which attracts us.  If you have always wanted to play with stained glass but hear negative messages such as,  “That is way too much of an expense for the equipment. And besides what are you going to do with all of the stuff you make?”  Then you are allowing yourself to stop the MAGNETIC pull that is trying to get your attention to get you out of your rut.  The “WHY” is a three letter drug that immobilizes and stagnates you into inactivity.  

Allow yourself to follow that which draws you.  If you are looking in at other people’s lives and saying things like, “I wish I could be that….” then you need to stop envying the other and start creating your own MAGNETIC life.  Be more colorful, play with emotional connection, and allow intensity to be a motivator and not a cowardly lion in your life. Where is your yellow brick road?  You may not always know what is coming next, or what flying monkeys or wicked witches are trying to stop you, but if you follow the yellow brick road you will have MAGNETIC moments in your adventure in life.  Stop analyzing and start living.  Follow that which draws you and allow it to open up new paths and possibilities where you have told yourself those new paths were not possible for you.  (If that what draws you is immoral nor not a part of your value system…. of course don’t go there.  Go to a therapist instead.)

YOUR LIFE A-Z:KAPUT

IT IS FINISHED. NO MORE. 

KAPUT

Yep, it is KAPUT all right.  It is completely broken and useless.  How many things do you have in your house that are KAPUT?  How many pieces of clothes do you have in your closet or sock draw that you just need to take to the TRASH?  Yes, I said trash.  Don’t give your broken, used, useless, tattered clothes to someone else through the thrift store.  How tacky is that?  If it is so worn you won’t wear again with a sense of pride, why would you place it in a pink bag for a VET?  Those clothes in your closet that are too small or not your style or you only wore them once or twice, those are the clothes you put in the pink bag.  If you won’t wear it with pride then don’t give it to someone else.  Just because someone shops at the Good Will does not mean they are broken and useless.  I imagine your home is full of KAPUT’S and that those broken and useless things are taking up room that could be converted to a useful space for some of your treasures. Clear your KAPUT stuff out of your living space.  Make room for creative and clean energy.  If you hear negative self talk in your head, such as criticism from your mom or dad that says, “See, how wasteful you are.” Or “You never used that $43.00 potato peeler.”  Just remain on task.  Get rid of the KAPUTs and remind your parents and friends they don’t get a vote. If they can’t say something nice, don’t say it all.  KAPUT.  Those messages are broken and useless.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:JOURNAL

WRITE IT OUT...ALL OF IT

JOURNAL

Yes, write it down.  To JOURNAL is to record a story.  Think about it. Journalists are reporters that write down the event.  They don’t just report the event, such as, today there was a bank robbery at the corner of Bell and Jack Rabbit, they describe in detail the robbery.  Today, at 1:07, a blue pick up truck pulled into a very active strip mall and parked near the exit.  Two heavy set white males, appearing to be about 5’6” got out and walked to the bank.  As they entered, they nodded to a woman wearing a purple shirt and blue jeans.  She got in the bank line, fiddled to get her check book out of her leather purse, and when it was her turn at the teller, the two guys rushed behind her and stuck a gun in her back.  She told the teller, “I need $10,000 or these guys are going to kill me and everyone in the bank.  They are armed and have three hand gernades to dislodge if you don’t do this now and without any cues to anyone else. Understood?”  See, got interested didn’t you?

Make your journaling a written and interesting report about your day. Now, take ten minutes and describe your day as definitive as possible.  “My first thought this morning was, I want taco’s tonight.  As I dressed in my black suite and turquoise blouse, my taste buds were remembering those tacos at Sierra Blanco.  You get the point.  Now go do it.  No Excuses.  Do and Do It Now!

YOUR LIFE A-Z: IMPROMPTU

IMPROMPTU DOES NOT SIT, IMPROMPTU IS A HUMMINGBIRD

IMPROMPTU

In the TWENTY MINUTE COACH, YOUR LIFE A-Z, I have covered the necessity of spontaneity, rest, break, and experiment.  IMPROMPTU is a very important word.  It means doing something without planning it. IMPROMPTU requires risk taking but not calculated risk taking.  It implies seeing the lake and jumping in it.  It implies following your intuition.  It implies going to the store and then deciding to drive by it and go to a different store even though it is further away.  Actively look for things to break up the monotony of your day today by doing something IMPROMPTU.  Have plans for dinner?  Change them, go somewhere else instead.  Going to the gym?  Go for a walk or hike instead.  Pick up the phone and call (DO NOT TEXT) someone in your contact list you have not talked to in a very long time.  Invite someone you don’t know very well to lunch.  Go to church, walk a labyrinth, read a science fiction book if you are a novelist, wear different colored socks.  Whatever it is, practice doing something out of the ordinary today and everyday.  Your life is in a rut because you keep doing the same old thing. You have dug in track marks that now feel impossible to get out of.  Turn the wheel of that car and apply some gas even though it may be a bit bumpy for a moment or two. Get out of your daily grind with IMPROMPTU acts of doing it different.  At least, walk backwards for a few steps.