YOUR LIFE A-Z: GAIN

WHAT IS HAPPENING? 

GAIN

Here is a thought provoking word.  Early on in clinical psychology classes we were taught about secondary GAIN.   Secondary GAIN it a “positive feedback loop” that a client gets for a certain behavior.  For instance the black sheep of the family gets to be the center of conversation and worry because everyone is talking about him/her and trying to help him/her be better.  That black sheep has secondary GAIN, meaning that it is all about him/her.  Chaos in families is often a secondary GAIN.  Chaotic families never have a dull moment because life is continuing to bring a string of bad-luck or keeps the family pre-occupied with how bad things are.  As a result the family does not take responsibility for any of chaos because the family views it as something that is happening to them.  Whiny people get to complain because he/she finds an audience who will listen to how awful life is.  Thus this raises the question to you,  “What do you GAIN by doing what you are doing in your life?”  Do you stay stuck because it is safer than changing?  Do you stay overweight to GAIN a constant struggle in order to not focus on your behavior.  GAIN is something you get by investing something into the mix.  If you save money you GAIN interest, a reward for saving.  Secondary GAINS are paradoxical and at first you will fight this idea that you are getting something positive from your bad choices and decisions.  But non-the less you are receiving GAIN (interest) on your poor decisions.  So change them.

YOUR LIFE A-Z: LEARN

LEARN TO FISH FOR A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE

LEARN

It is never too late for this important word.  It has been proven that people who choose to discover interesting things to LEARN all throughout his/her lifespan are happier, healthier and keep the brain engaged building new pathways.   New pathways in the brain require the brain to use its plasticity that it is biologically wired to do which can help keep dementia and Alzheimer’s disease at bay.  But more importantly than that LEARNING something new keeps boredom at bay.  Boredom leads to overeating, laziness, too much drinking, and other brain dulling activities until one day you wake up and say,  “OMG, I am a coach potato.”   In this fast paced very technological society that you live in, you have many opportunities at your fingertips to LEARN something new everyday.  Crossword puzzles become more animated by playing the game words with friends which keeps the brain working and engaged.  However, to LEARN something new such as a new language, how to play a musical instrument, or a new sport can be intimidating.  That is normal for everyone so don't let emotional intimidation keep you in the corner of life.  Don’t compare yourself to others and his/her abilities.  Focus on your self and choose to LEARN something new that will be a bit intimidating.  It will be a good challenge for your self-esteem to get a workout too, while you LEARN.   Enjoy the fact that you are able to LEARN and let yourself explore many opportunities to LEARN.  Even LEARN to cook a new recipe for dinner.