Thursday, July 31, 2014




WANDER is another action verb.  You can WANDER leisurely through the mall and begin an early Christmas shopping excursion by just WANDERING from store to store.  Or you can WANDER in your mind as you imagine yourself traveling to faraway places of adventure and gastronomical delight.  To WANDER is a relaxing action that allows you to stretch beyond your to-do list.  Take a WANDER today in some near by park, mall, or the town next door and you may have the experience of seeing it “for the first time,” because you are not on a mission.  You are giving yourself permission to amble about in any store looking for nothing in particular and looking at everything mindfully.  This trip of WANDERING may lead you to enjoy something that you never thought possible or you might find yourself WANDERING toward a treasure that will fill your heart.  Give yourself permission to WANDER and if that free-flow makes you too anxious, then go WANDER for three hours and if you start fretting about wasting time, use your breath to bring you back to the here and now.  Tell yourself you will journal about your experience to help make this exercise of WANDERING a mindful exercise for you.  It is important to take yourself on an adventure that allows you to relax into doing only what is front of you.  WANDER in your mind or WANDER with your body, but whatever you do WANDER around and notice the world of wonder as you WANDER.

Monday, July 28, 2014




Sometimes a vacation is the most uplifting thing you can do for yourself. However, it is important to be very wise about it or a VACATION can dump you into the bottom of the depression barrel more so than anything else. A VACATION is a change of pace, a change of scenery, and/or a change from the daily grind of monotony.  Thus, let’s explore wise VACATIONS.  First the budget… not can you afford a VACATION, but what type of VACATION, can you afford?   A VACATION is not an all or nothing venture.  Think of it as a “ both-and” adventure.  You will enjoy your VACATION to the max if you come home with no CC debt.  In order to do that you must learn to save and plan for a VACATION.  If you come back to a budget disaster you will most likely lose any benefit you gained from you VACATION.  Go ahead and dream about your ultimate VACATION and create a dream container for it by placing pictures, ideas, maps and create a $fund to go with it.  Add something each week or each pay -check to that account for this trip.  In the meantime actually do some break the monotony VACATIONS.   Choose something fun and relaxing (your kind of relaxing) and go for 3-5 days and fully enjoy yourself on the budget you can live with it.  A luxury hotel is nice but it is not really where you spend your time, unless you are on a spa vacation.  So play with the “both-and” VACATION and do something fun for yourself before summer is over!  Coaches orders. 

Sunday, July 27, 2014




“May I be uplifted and experience the root of uplifting.”  That is how simple Buddhist prayer becomes and notice that it begins with the most important person in the world-YOU. If you don’t have ‘you’ then you have nothing.  If you are walking around down in the dumps, dissatisfied, and unhappy then within a very short period of time you are not going to be in a position to UPLIFT anyone else.  You must UPLIFT yourself.  Today do actions that are going to help you UPLIFT your spirit, your energy, and your mood.  To UPLIFT means to come along beside and lift to a different space.  As a child perhaps the adult UPLIFTED you from the ground to his/her shoulders in order for you to see the parade, the fireworks or the clowns.  That UPLIFT provided you with a boost of excitement.  The world became immediately interesting and you were able to see things that you could not see or understand from the point of view of three feet off the ground.  UPLIFT yourself today.  Seize the day.  Stand on the desktop and view the world out of your window from an UPLIFTED perspective.  By changing your view you are able to change your perspective and those put positive energy into the world.  UPLIFT yourself first then you will have the energy to come along side a friend or colleague and UPLIFT him/her when they are feeling down or are in a complaining pit.  UPLIFT him/her out of the pit once you are firmly UPLIFTED from your own emotional malaise. 

Saturday, July 26, 2014




TOLERANCE is an attitude of acceptance.  TOLERANCE is also an exercise in being resilient.  Your body must learn to build TOLERANCE especially to foreign materials such as transplants or allergens.  TOLERANCE by its very nature is an un-comfortableness that requires that we adjust our attitude, behavior or body in some way to accommodate differences.   When we were children we saw the world through the eyes of the adults around us and adapted many of those adults believes and attitudes toward the world.  But as we grew up perhaps we realized that how the adults in our lives reacted to women, people or color or certain ways of doing things did not really fit for us.  We may have also learned that when we disagreed with an adults perception of how things are, we were belittled.  We experienced that having a different opinion was not TOLERATED.  Thus, learning at a young age what we would TOLERATE and not TOLERATE became a life lesson.  Perhaps we believed it was unbearable to experience a parent’s disgust at us thus we learned to adapt to his or her believe system to remain safe.  Or, perhaps we figured out at a young age sharing our believe system was not safe until we moved out of the house, but once that happened we practiced TOLERANCE toward others that believed or looked differently than we do.  TOLERANCE is something that we must exercise and acquire as a daily practice in order for us to live safely and peacefully.  Really, what good is it to flip off the person who cuts you off in traffic?   Practice TOLERANCE.

Friday, July 25, 2014




SAFETY is important in so many ways.  It is important to know that you are physically SAFE and protected.  Each of us, make decisions based on our physical SAFETY, such as what size car we choose to drive or the fact that we lock our doors at night.  However, a sense of emotional SAFETY is much deeper than physical SAFETY.  Emotional SAFETY affects our immune system, health, and our mental health.   Knowing that we can be vulnerable with your friends, family, and significant others is the most important part of feeling SAFE in your daily life.  Emotional SAFETY is not something that just happens, it is something that must be cultivated.  Going deep into your feelings, thoughts, and actions requires that you first and foremost trust yourself to respond to others rather than react to them.  Do you trust yourself to be SAFE with you?  Can you journal the deep parts of your soul and end with truly liking who you are or do you end on a critical note?  If you are not emotionally SAFE with yourself others will not feel emotionally SAFE with you.  If significant people in your life disclose ways that you have hurt them and you attack them for sharing then clearly they will stop sharing because you are not SAFE.   To begin the journey of vulnerability and emotional SAFTEY you must first start with yourself.  From that position then move forward to build emotional SAFETY for yourself with the important people in your life.  Emotional SAFETY is important to the quality of your life. 

Thursday, July 24, 2014




REASON is a mental exercise that requires analytical thought and tedious dissection however; REASON often ends up attached to emotion.  If you want to understand this concept of emotion and REASON just try to REASON with an adolescent.  Nope, the fine art of analytical thought is lost on an adolescent.  REASON is also lost on those who have their mind made up about a particular issue. Drop the discourse.  REASON is out the window.  But then again, what makes your REASON right in the first place?   REASON is tricky and often times we do not stop to evaluate the logic of it, or how we came to defend it in the first place.  A jury must convict on “beyond a REASONABLE” doubt.  That is not easy to do because there are some many perceptions of what happened, when it happened or how it happened.  Is your REASON for doing something, thoughtfully and logically beyond a REASONABLE doubt?  Have your wrestled with your logic and asked yourself heart-searching questions about “what is it that makes you believe this to be true?”   It is important to you and to those that you love that you have the courage to REASON with your own logic, ideas, and attitudes and choose REASON in a gentle and co-operative manner.  It is important to say, “I have my REASON and you are welcome to have yours.”  Know why you believe what you do but do not feel a need to defend it.  If someone is asking you to defend, feel free to REASONABLY decline.  If someone is curious then you can share your REASON if it feels safe. 

Wednesday, July 23, 2014




Yes, QUILT.   Do you have a favorite QUILT in your closet?  What makes that QUILT your favorite?  Was it the person that made if for you?  Or, if you purchased the QUILT, is it the theme or the colors that attracted you. Some people are talented and enjoy the art of QUILT making and others of us admire his/her art but feel as if we just cannot make something that is so intricate and time consuming.  That may very well be the case but today I want to introduce an art form of QUILT making that each of us can do.  Get an 8 ½ by 11-inch piece of paper and one side; write a list of 19 things for which you are thankful.  Once, you have reached 19, quit.   Look at the words you have written and allow your feelings of gratitude remember a situation that is connected to each word on the list.  Next, you have a choice of two options.  If you have a bunch of magazines at your disposal, some glue and scissors then search the magazine for pictures of each of your words on your list.  Once you collect 19 pictures (not the written words-only pictures) then carefully glue them on to the front of the paper creating your own QUILT of gratitude.  If option #1, sounds tedious and too much trouble, no problem, then choose 19 different colors from a crayon box and color and create a shape and color it in until every inch of your paper is covered.  Viola, you have created a QUILT of gratitude and practiced mindfulness at the same time. 

Tuesday, July 22, 2014




 The TWENT MINUTE COACH has spoken about kindness, compassion, and gratitude and now I am inviting you to play with PAY.   If you want to lift your mood, get out of yourself pity and do something meaningful then PAY IT FORWARD.   Today, find someone out there that needs something and do it for him or her just because you can.  Bless someone not necessarily because they may need it but because you can.  PAY for someone’s groceries in front of you or behind you at the store just because you can.  Send a gift card to someone just because you can. PAYING IT FORWARD can be an exhilarating boost of mood elevation and this simple offering of kindness can keep you moving forward all day lone.  PAYING IT FORWARD does not have to be big it can be any small act of kindness just because.  PAYING IT FORWARD is an action of personal gratitude because you are in a position to give and that is awesome.  To offer the person next to you your place in line is a PAY IT FORWARD action.  To offer something of yourself because you can is a PAY IT FORWARD action of gratitude.  There are many ways to get you yourself out of your myopic self-centeredness and PAY ahead for someone else in your daily life.  Go for it. Play with this. PAY IT FORWARD each day this week so that you can get into the habit of giving and then PAY IT FORWARD once a week until December 31st and notice how good and energized you begin to feel.  

Monday, July 21, 2014




 To OFFER something implies that you are engaged in the situation and are reaching out to add something to the situation.  To OFFER a guest a chair, something to drink, or an invitation to be comfortable is not only the right thing to do but also the appropriate sign of a good host.  To let guests fend for themselves is rude.  To OFFER something requires very little energy and gives so much in the way of kindness.  Today, challenge yourself to notice the nuances around you and reach out to others with a simple, OFFER.  To OFFER something to someone else can require that you get out of your self-centered focus and focus on the environment.  Ask yourself, who is here and what might they need.  Pay attention to others and do what you can to make their life better today by OFFERING a smile or a kind word.  Identifying with someone’s discomfort or pain and verbally noticing it by saying, “Looks like you are sad,” is an OFFER of kindness.  To OFFER your seat to someone standing is a gesture of kindness and one day you may need the same.  How would you feel if you showed up as a guest at someone’s house and no one OFFERED you a seat, a drink, or a pleasant, “Please make yourself comfortable?”  That lack of OFFERING would make you think twice about returning and it should.  Why would you choose to be around those who do not OFFER anything back in return?  OFFER from your heart and if you are not OFFERING, perhaps your heart has grown cold. 

Sunday, July 20, 2014




Just as in juxtaposition the subtleties do make a difference.  How many times have your feelings been hurt unnecessarily because you heard a NUANCE in someone’s voice? Perhaps, they were having a bad day! Often the words, actions, and facial expressions become personalized because you pick up a NUANCE and made up a painful story about it rather than check it out.  A NUANCE deserves the common courtesy of a question, such as; “I noticed your face seemed tense as you answered me. Is there something going on that I am not aware of?”  If you make more out of a NUANCE than necessary and don’t check them out then it is possible you are setting yourself up to be unnecessarily miserable.  However, the opposite applies too.  NUANCES are important communication markers and as a result need to be respected.  If you are oblivious to social cues then you may be setting yourself up for some brutal communication eruptions.  Clear communication is always the best policy but for the most part we are not very good at it.  A lot of communication is NUANCE communication and it is our responsibility to clarify the NUANCE rather than ignore it or make up a story about it.  A gentle, “I am sorry that I upset you, is more specific and appropriate than a curt, “I am sorry IF I upset you.”   The NUANCE is in the tone and in the word choice.  Nothing is very subtle about those in juxtaposition unless you tend to walk around clueless.   Check out the NUANCES in your daily life. 

Saturday, July 19, 2014




MOVEMENT is absolutely essential to your wellbeing.  Whether it is touching your toes ten times or walking around the block ten times, it is important to MOVE.  Physical MOVEMENT also increases your resistance to depression, increases your immune system, and keeps you younger and agile as you MOVE through the stages of your life.  It is impossible to maintain a sour attitude if you MOVE your body and focus on letting breathe and life within.  MOVEMENT requires that you focus your attention to your body and often in our Western culture we forget we have a body.  There is a mind-body disconnect that can be healed via MOVEMENT and focus.  Focus on your body and MOVE it slowly and purposely.  Stretch your body with MOVEMENTS that require you to focus on “further” than before.  Stretch upward and MOVE downward.  MOVE to the right and then to the left.  MOVE for your enjoyment and health.  Swimming is also a great way to MOVE your body with little effort.  If you will MOVE for 10 minutes a day you will gain more energy.  If you change your position and MOVE to the back of the room you will gain a different perspective.  If you re-arrange your furniture by MOVING it around it will elevate your mood and give you a sense of newness.  If you MOVE a plant to different location you will smile at the change of attitude in a room.  MOVEMENT is key to changing your mood in a matter of minutes.  MOVE your body or MOVE your environment around and notice the internal change. 

Friday, July 18, 2014




To LAUGH is not LAUGHING matter.  LAUGHTER has become a recognized tool in wellness, yoga, and healing.  LAUGHTER is good medicine.  The actual act of LAUGHING is known to release endorphins in the brain, increase blood supply and oxygen levels as well as lift a person’s suppressed mood.  LAUGHTER causes the lungs to contract and expand and the throat to let go of uptight rigid quietness.  LAUGHING makes the facial muscles relax and spread open brightening the face.  To LAUGH is to express joy, connection, and delight in something that brings a sense of well- being to you.  LAUGHTER strengthens your immune system while reducing physical pain while increasing energy to help you move positively into your day.  LAUGHTER may feel forced when doing LAUGHTER yoga, but so what?  So what if you are counting your “ho-ho-ho’s” and exaggerating the noise from your throat to reach for the stars?  Who is watching?  Part of getting well and taking charge of creating a happy a life for yourself is learning to do knew things, take adventurous risks, and break out of old habits.  I challenge you to LAUGH today.  I have a link that I am sharing with a challenge for you to click and LAUGH in the privacy of your own home or office.  Let you endorphins free to assist you in moving negative and depressed energy out of your body and space and into a make believe dumpster.  Don’t stay heavy one more minute.  Click and LAUGH away:

Thursday, July 17, 2014




KEEP is a little word that often does not get much consideration or attention, but it is a word we use repeatedly throughout our day.  If we listen to ourselves we will hear ourselves say, “KEEP it clean; KEEP it cold; KEEP it away from the dog; or I am going to KEEP it.”  KEEP implies an action of protection and necessity.  To KEEP something means to retain it because it is either useful or it has a positive meaning and function for which you want to use it.  KEEP doing the TWENTY MINUTE COACH on a daily basis and you will discover that you are naturally living more positively and consciously throughout your day.  What are you KEEPING and what do you need to discard from your daily life?  Become conscious about the stuff you KEEP.  Do you need it?  Does it serve you?  Are you serving those things that you KEEP?  If something needs to be KEPT cold and you leave it out in the heat then you did not act responsibly toward that which needed you to tend to it.  The word KEEP is important.  Here are some things that you need to practice KEEPING.  KEEP safe.  KEEP calm.  KEEP up the good attitude.  KEEP peace.  KEEP practicing.  KEEP cool.  KEEP letting go.  KEEP alert. KEEP learning.  KEEP good friends.  KEEP moving.  What are ten other things that you can list that will help you if you KEEP them in your daily life?  Do not ignore this four-letter word ever again.  KEEP!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014




JUXTAPOSITION is often contrasting positions placed side by side to explore the similarities and differences.  For instance what is the JUXTAPOSITION of kindness and compassion.  Without much reflection we often think of these two words as one in the same.  But even though they are similar they are not the same.  Kindness is often an action of compassion, something people do out of an inner space within of compassion.  Compassion is an attitude of empathy, where the compassionate one is able to place his/herself in the same shoes of someone else, even those that in most incidences that would cause inner disgust such as a murderer.  Compassion in JUXTAPOSITION to kindness is a parallel track, an inner experience of the outer expression of kindness.  It is difficult to observe the similarities of subtle differences unless we place words, thoughts, feelings, and/or actions side by side.  A JUXTAPOSITION of hatred might be racism and a JUXTAPOSITION of war might be economic gain.  By examining issues via JUXTAPOSITION we enlighten and educate ourselves in various schools of thought empowering our brain to make valuable and healthy judgments.   As you discover the power of mindfulness allow yourself to explore side by side the JUXTAPOSITION of good and evil; rich and poor; and smart and ignorance.  Then explore the JUXTAPOSITION of fear and bravery; courage and action; or love and caring.  JUXTAPOSING words next to each other help us live more meaningful and mindful daily lives.  JUXTAPOSING words is also a mental exercise that enlightens. 

Tuesday, July 15, 2014




It still amazes me how synchronicity seems to be guiding this process of the TWENTY MINUTE COACH.   INITIATE is an action verb.  INITIATE, start, begin, or launch something new in your life.  It is the middle of the summer, it is hot and it is time to do something new.  The TWENTY MINUTE COACH has been talking about giving and helping, so why not INITIATE a new way for you to practice giving and helping others.  It usually feels good and boosts your mood if  you give or help someone else.  What can you do today to INITIATE a personal way of helping and giving? Perhaps you volunteer already, but after awhile the same old schedule often becomes dusty from routine and you find yourself not receiving the joy that you did once upon a time.  There is a time and season for everything is not just a poetic quote from the Bible, but it has proven to be true time and time again.  Nothing lasts forever.  The energy that INITIATES new ideas, goals, plan, and hope does not always hang around at the same level. Energy ebbs and flows.  If the energy in a situation has waned, then re-access the situation and INITIATE some form of change.  Don’t let energy get stale.  INITIATE new ideas to old plans or INITIATE a brand new change.  Do not settle to just get by.  INITIATE a sense of pride and accomplishment in your daily life.  INITIATE an intervention of change early on and tweak it as you proceed.  

Monday, July 14, 2014




Oh my, what is the difference between the four letter word HELP and the four letter word GIVE? Clearly the words are similar.  They both require compassion, kindness, and mindfulness.   The Twenty-Minute Coach invites you to think about the word HELP as something that really needs to be done.  If someone has fallen then he/she will appreciate your HELP in getting up. When you respond to a disaster situation with physical labor then you are HELPING verses just giving money.  The giving of money, of course, is HELP.  HELP is action that requires you to do something outside of your normal routine and giving is something you practice at least during the holiday season.  How do you HELP?   How do you go beyond what is expected of you and HELP your family and friends?  How do you HELP strangers?  First and foremost, HELP yourself.   Self HELP means going out of your normal and natural patterns to actively participate in changing something to HELP your life better.  HELP also allows us to feel good about our actions of compassion and kindness.  It is important to acknowledge that you are not alone on this planet and reach out to others to ask for HELP.  Asking for HELP is not sign of weakness, it is an act of courage to acknowledge that you can’t do everything all by yourself.  Allow others the gift of feeling good about themselves by allowing them to HELP you.  I am asking for your HELP.  I want 500 likes on IN A MOMENT’S NOTICE page by the end of July.  HELP me by suggesting to your friends that 

Sunday, July 13, 2014




The word GIVE implies to GIVE something to someone without expecting anything in return.  However, complex emotions often attach themselves to the word GIVE.  Often jealousy and competition compete for space in our heads when analyzing who received what, who reciprocated, or how much to spend or what was spent on certain gifts that were GIVEN.   Kindness and compassion are kindred spirits that come along side the word GIVE and allow to experience joy when we release the heart and GIVE.  Take an inventory about your values around GIVE.  Who do you GIVE to and under what circumstances do you choose to GIVE?  How do you decide which charity to GIVE to and do you only GIVE to receive a tax deduction?  To GIVE and have no strings attached is a great personal value.   When we GIVE we naturally receive a sense of personal joy that makes our insides light up and enjoy a sense of meaning in our life.  What if you GAVE bottled water to every homeless person you passed this summer, how many thirsty lives have been made a little better as a result of your GIVING. To GIVE requires that you put yourself in someone else’s shoes for a moment and imagine what it is that you can GIVE that will bring true enjoyment to his/her life.  GIVE today.  GIVE blood.  GIVE food.  Go shopping for very special birthday gifts and Christmas presents, so you can GIVE mindfully.  Do not procrastinate FINSH your GIVING today.  

Saturday, July 12, 2014




FINISH it.  Don’t procrastinate and keep putting off that to-do list of yours.  FINISH it.  Where are the loose ends in your life?  What unfinished project is nagging at you to finish it?  What is it about this unfinished business that keeps you from accomplishing what you set out to do?  Energy is renewed, goals are refreshed and dreams are re-launched when space clears out in our daily life because projects get FINISHED.   If you sit with yourself and ask what is it that stops me from FINISHING my project and write down six reasons that you are not FINISHING what you set out to do, you may discover really important information about yourself.  Perhaps you think you feel overwhelmed but if you allow yourself to be self-reflective you might discover that you never really did not want to do this project in the first place.  Or perhaps you are disappointed that the project is not what you thought it would be?  There are many reasons that the FINISH line is often illusive in our daily life.  FINISH can only happen when you have at least 90% buy in and investment in the project. Something inside of you is giving your resistance and you need to make peace with that resistance or bypass it to FINISH.  FINISHING projects, unfinished interpersonal business, and your daily to do list will allow you to feel a sense of accomplishment and new life and energy will be available for you to move on to new goals and dreams. 

Friday, July 11, 2014




“Live your life as an EXPERIMENT,” says Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche.  That one quote goes along way to reduce stress and prevent procrastination.  An EXPERIMENT is a permission giving word allowing for flexibility and exploration.  The only commitment is to try something different or create something new out of just an idea.  Boredom sets in fast when we are creatures of habit doing the same old life day in and day out.  We grow disgruntled, bored, fatigued, and lethargic with dull routines.  In order to spice up your daily life, EXPERIMENT with all parts of it.  EXPERIMENT with new foods. EXPERIMENT with new colors, breaking out of your clothes and outdated style.  EXPERIMENT with a new hairstyle.  EXPERIMENT with a new activity, such as trying golf, tennis, or biking for the first time.  You do not have to invest or buy in to something and you can certainly quit if you don’t like it.  Remember you are EXPERIMENTING to discover what you like.  The commitment is to EXPERIMENT, not to finish or become proficient at it.  If you do not like it and the EXPERIMENT brings you no joy then by all means toss the EXPERIMENT out the door.  What is it that you have wanted to do?  Try it as an EXPERIMENT and see what comes out of your EXPERIMENT. Nothing ventured –Nothing gained.  EXPERIMENTING brings out a sense of adventure and excitement that cannot be experienced from the coach.  If you are still not convinced, start by EXPERIMENTING with a new recipe and go from there. 

Thursday, July 10, 2014




DANCE is an energetic artistic expression of the body moving to music.  Ballet DANCE is a classic form of expression where African DANCE is an interpretive form of telling a story.  Both are art forms.  Both require study, passion, practice, and dedication to the art.  DANCE brings enjoyment and joy to those watching but DANCE is really not intended to be a spectator sport.  DANCE is an all-inclusive opportunity to move your body to music in order to keep your body healthy, express yourself and keep you in shape.  DANCE is easy and anyone can do it with no training.  I hear your complaints, fears, and judgmental self yelling, “But I look funny,” or “I have no coordination.”  Those are excuses.  You can DANCE alone in the privacy of your own home while no one is watching.  You could also take a Zumba DANCE class.  However, the real issue here is that you DANCE.  Young or old you can DANCE.  I challenge you to play some music that you like, close your eyes, and move your body to the music.  DANCE for ten minutes and repeat tomorrow and the next day.  This is an experiment for you to try for the next thirty days and discover whether you are happier and less negative as a result of DANCE.  DANCE is a transformative energy that requires no practice, no reps, no counting, and no competition.  Experiment with different types of music.  DANCE and enjoy the freedom of creative expression while feeling better

Wednesday, July 9, 2014




Where in the world did you get the belief that change is hard?  The one thing that makes CHANGE hard is your underlying belief that CHANGE is hard.  CHANGE in and of itself is maybe inconvenient or uncomfortable.  If you decide to CHANGE clothes in the middle of the day, perhaps you make more work for yourself but do you feel more comfortable after you CHANGE your clothes?  It is probably good an idea to CHANGE into a swim suit before jumping into the pool; but is that CHANGE all that hard?  So what story have you been telling yourself about CHANGE?  What is it that you want to CHANGE?  First define exactly what you want to CHANGE.  Now, ask yourself what is it that you need in terms of resources to make that CHANGE.  How and when are you going to acquire those resources?  When are you going to start working toward your goal of CHANGE and when is the completion date for CHANGE?  I promise you there will be no successful CHANGE with out a deadline. Humans are designed to take the path of least resistance, so ask yourself what prevents you from reaching your goal of CHANGE?  What will you have to do to illuminate, reduce, or Bypass the obstacles in your way of CHANGE?  CHANGE is fun.  CHANGE your hairstyle and notice how that makes you feel different, even younger.  CHANGE is a way of breaking free from old ruts.  Try CHANGE this week in playful ways and notice the difference.  

Tuesday, July 8, 2014




Do you know that you do not have to take the bait in a conversation that can potentially lead to an argument?  You can actually BYPASS situations that can lead to chaos, arguments, and unnecessary grief.  In road construction a BYPASS is built in order to manage traffic congestion allowing traffic that has no need to travel through the center of town.  It is possible that you spend much of your time and energy exhausting yourself in someone else’s drama, chaos, or problem when you could actually BYPASS it all together.  If you have children you are granted many opportunities each day to BYPASS a conflict by not engaging in the constant demands to know why or why not.  BYPASSING situations that can entangle you takes wisdom and foresight to think ahead and ask yourself some important questions about your current situation.  BYPASS situations that are going to make you fret or upset afterwards.  Do you really need to share your political or religious opinion with someone you know already is on a different page or even a different planet that you are?  What is the point?  What do you really gain? Political or religious dialogues are for those of similar interests or have an open mind to discuss certain points of view.  For instance, two political liberals might discuss the pros and cons of the potential candidates, but there is no reason for a conservative and a liberal to have a discussion.  Minds are already made up so BYPASS the rhetoric and engage in topics of mutual interest.  

Monday, July 7, 2014




ADJUSTMENT means to altar or move slightly in order to acquire the desired fit, or to make something better.  What is it in your life that needs an ADJUSTMENT?  Is your attitude in need of an ADJUSTMENT?  How do you know?  Well if you are walking around disgruntled and thinking negative thoughts then it is time for an attitude ADJUSTMENT.  The nice part about any ADJUSTMENT is not that you have to rearrange everything or even start over. You simply work with what you already have on board.  There are a few positive thoughts hanging out inside of you.  Gather those thoughts to the foreground and add to them.  Sometimes it is possible that you are disgruntled because you are neglecting your own needs and are not eating correctly, sleeping enough or depriving yourself of exercise.  Examine those three areas and make some small ADJUSTMENTS to the basics of your needs and go forward from there.  You will be surprised how adding just ten minutes of exercise in the middle of your long day can be a big ADJUSTMENT to your attitude.  Also, making a small ADJUSTMENT to your dietary needs can boost your energy, ADJUSTING your mood.  Try removing your electronics away from your head at night to see if this small ADJUSTMENT allows you to sleep better.  ADJUSTMENTS are small manageable goals that allow you to acquire the desired fit for you.  If you are cranky and disgruntled then something needs an ADJUSTMENT.  Examine what is not working your life and make the ADJUSTMENT to make it work better.

Sunday, July 6, 2014



Zero is a very powerful number in our numerical system.  ZERO has the power to change any number into something different.  ZERO also has the power to be a great equalizer.  ZERO is the starting point of any game and the beginning point of life.  After that it is up to our energy, effort, and desire.  We really can change things in our lives when we stop looking at what we don’t have, quit whining and feeling sorry for ourselves; and focus on the goal we want to achieve.  Maybe as a kid or even as an adult you have been telling yourself that you are nothing but a great big ZERO. If you add yourself to a one you enhance that one to a ten.  If you add yourself to a team of ten you create one hundred possibilities.  In New York City there is Ground ZERO taking the name from the definition of ground ZERO, the point of detonation after the 9/11 attack on the US.  It is now a memorial and aplace of remembrance that the USA was detonated and leveled to ZERO for the first time in our history.  It is a place where we say, “never again.”  But in reality we can’t prevent another detonation.  Neither can you but you can decide how you want to respond to an emotional, relational or physical detonation that takes you to your personal ground ZERO. You can build a memorial to your pain as a reminder to stay awake to life, but never allow yourself to believe ZERO is an impossible number.

Saturday, July 5, 2014



Be quick be nimble like Jack jumping over the candlestick.  The word YARE means exactly that, quickness, agility, and easy to maneuver.   YARE is necessary for our bodies.  We cannot afford to let our bodies get stiff, tight, tense, or rigid. YARE is needed on a daily basis.  Discover ways to move your body.  Google different stretches to add to your daily workout.   Yes, I did say daily workout.  You may not want to be a ballerina or a great gymnast, but in order to grow older with agility it is important to practice YARE on a daily basis.  Can you still touch your toes, bend over and tie your shoes, or get up with out using all fours?  If not, start your YARE there. Those are necessary skills for aging with grace.  The last “Y” word was yoga.  Have you started yet?  Can you do the sun salutation or downward dog?  I am not feeding you a yarn; YARE is necessary for agility and flexibility.  Look for opportunities to practice YARE often throughout the day.  Touch your toes ten times often throughout the day. Stretch your arms to the ceiling and move your body in various YARE ways.  How you YARE today will depend on your range of YARE tomorrow.  Age sneaks up on you.  One day you may be perfectly happy being a couch potato and tomorrow you may not get out of bed easily because your YARE was not taken seriously and it got up and left you. 

Friday, July 4, 2014





“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”  UNALIENABLE is not a word that easily nor poetically rolls off of one’s tongue.  It also seems to be a word that no one pays much attention to, and certainly not one that is mindfully considered in our society today.  However, today I choose to practice a bit of mindfulness as to what UNALIENABLE might mean as a tool of understanding for such a divided nation.  Today, I choose not to wear a hijab or niqab, but it is my Muslims sister’s right to wear one if she chooses.  Today, I still choose not to own a gun but respect UNALIENABLE rights of those who make that choice.  However, I do not believe it is an UNALIENABLE right for citizens to own an AKA 47 or any other weapon of mass destruction. I believe owning a weapon of mass destruction by private citizens steps on my UNALIENABLE right to LIFE AND LIBERTY.  I should be able to walk into a school, a mall, a movie theater or any other public building and not have my LIFE or LIBERTY threatened by a person who believes it is time for a massacre.  Today I choose to explore diversity in food, spirituality, political opinion, and celebrate the reality that diversity is a positive and enlightening way to come toward life.  It is my UNALIENABLE right to love whom I love and dislike folks that to me are difficult for whatever reason.  I really don’t need to explain why I love or dislike anyone.  It is my UNALIENABLE right.  It is not my UNALIENABLE right to stomp on the LIFE, LIBERTY or pursuit of HAPPINESS of any other human.  I am thankful that by the time I was in third grade I could swim in the same pool with people of color and by the time I was in sixth grade I could go to school with people of color and even have a teacher of color.  That is my UNALIENABLE right to choose for myself and once upon a time it was not the case.  A nation divided cannot stand; a nation diverse is a rich and meaningful place to live and be.  Today I practice my UNALIENABLE right to put as much color, experience and diversity into my life of choice.  You have choices and UNALIENABLE rights too.  Celebrate them with respect and care, while being mindful of the UNALIENABLE rights of others.  Fireworks are colorful for a reason.  Enjoy their diversity and respect my UNALIENABLE right to say, don’t enjoy them at a cost of a forest fire or tragedy to someone else.  Be mindful in all that you do today as you celebrate your UNALIENABLE rights. 

Thursday, July 3, 2014




“X” words are becoming my favorite because I learn so much.  XEROSERE is especially exciting because it speaks to me of the synchronicity of random events.  After I wrote about water, I typed in “words that start with X” into my browser.  I hardly know what any of them mean and this one seemed interesting so I clicked on its definition. “XEROSERE is plant succession which is limited by water availability.”  I am certain that the science of XEROSERE is deeper than where I am going with this blog but think about the difference between a rock and forest.  The succession of plant stages go from bare rocks to climax stage.  Such is your emotional life.  Emotions are stages and more we are tossed around in turbulent waters of our life the more we grow.  Our stages mirror that of our environment.  We even use a vocabulary that is similar to XEROSERE.  Often time we will say someone is barren of emotional connection, meaning their emotional landscape is void of expression, zeal, and depth.  It is natural to want to connect with people who have well developed emotions by moving past the rock to moss stage and are in the herb, shrub, tree, or climax stage.  The climax state of XEROSERE is a strong community stage of a forest, which has banned together from the many trees that make it up the community.  The healthier you are emotionally the more developed the XEROSERE of your emotional life.  Be sure to let the water of your emotions allow you to grow strong and tall. Forest or rocks, created a community.  

Wednesday, July 2, 2014




WATER is a powerful element that has served each of us in our daily life.  WATER is also a spiritual tool of emotional healing and renewal.  WATER is used in traditional Christian baptism and Holy WATER is used for blessing and protection.  Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz disintegrated the wicked witch of the West with WATER.  Native Americans and indigenous people of all continents use WATER rituals.  WATER is essential for our survival.  We can survive many days without food, but without WATER we die.  Today forward, train yourself to be mindful of WATER. Drink WATER, lots of WATER (sixty –four ounces plus). Each day and be mindful of how you feel after a nice glass of WATER.  Notice how easily it picks you up and refreshes your inner being.  Be prayerful and mindful of water when you are in the shower or bath.  It is a precious resource, don’t overuse it and be thankful that WATER is here to serve you in that cleansing way.   The WATER in your pool is sacred and we take it for granted.   WATER your yard only as it needs it and switch to as much zero-scape as possible.  Be resourceful with this sacred commodity and treat it mindfully with respect and gratitude.  In the same way that Water heals it can destroy, as many hurricanes and floods have proven in our history.  The Taoists say WATER, in its many forms, is a symbol of wisdom.  I say it is wise to use WATER mindfully at all times. 

Tuesday, July 1, 2014




VINDICATE yourself from your self-judging and blaming ways.  I am not suggesting that you let yourself off the hook; I am demanding you let yourself out of jail.  VINDICATE and support your inner being.  Build from the ground up.  Get out of your head and down to the root of your being.  Again draw a big circle in your journal and put all of those shaming, blaming, judgmental words into the circle.  Now take a yellow crayon or highlighter and draw a circle around each of those words.  VINDICATE yourself through self –forgiveness.  Let the color of yellow represent light, love, healing and forgiveness.  Each of those words inside your circle keep you trapped in your own jail cell.  It is highly probable that your shame causes you to avoid rather than to VINDICATE.   Avoidance energy is draining and makes you fatigued, fat, and listless.  The energy of VINDICATION is positive, exhilarating, and healing.   If you find a word in your circle that you say, “I can never forgive myself for this,” then seek out a priest, psychotherapist, or coach to help you find away to VINDICATE yourself.  Life is too short to live the blame game.  By choosing to live inside your circle you are really acting like a victim.  Your are unconsciously or consciously saying to yourself, “I am too bad.  I am worse than anyone else.”  Those words are selfish and foolish.  Get over your self and VINDICATE yourself in order to live free. Act today.