YOUR LIFE A-Z:KING

What Kind of King are You?

KING

 The word KING during this time of Advent brings to mind the story of KING Herod and his dictate to destroy the Christ child, whom Herod saw as a threat.  If you study the Herod dynasty, you will come to understand that KING Herod was an insecure and very weak male that could not stand any competition.  The prophecies of old had long predicted that a KING would be born and he would be KING of the Jews.  KING Herod had ordered the Magi to reveal the location of this important baby KING, but the Magi departed a different way and did not reveal the location.  As a result, KING Herod in his anger and angst ordered that all baby boys under the age of two be killed in the area of Bethlehem.  This part of history became known as the slaughter of the innocents.  Each of us has a KING Herod inside of us.  That inner KING is our insecure, anxiety driven ego.  This inner KING will destroy us and anyone else in our path of perceived control in order to keep our life safe.  This pseudo control slaughters our dreams, ideas, and intuition on a regular basis.  We need to birth within us a different KING.   We need a KING of peace that surpasses all understanding that allows us to be present to our life, and bring peace to those around us.  You choose which kind of KING you are willing to be: Herod or the Christ Child? 

YOUR LIFE A-Z:QUIET

QUIET

STOP AND LISTEN TO THE QUI

QUIET your mind.  QUIET is an inside experience.  QUIET is also an outside experience.  Libraries are QUIET.  Movie theaters, operas, plays, and tennis matches are suppose to be QUIET.  Why is QUIET important?  QUIET allows you to concentrate and get in touch with you private thoughts.  When you are always listening to the T.V., music, or background noise it is very hard to explore your thoughts and feelings.  Rain makes noise and it is beautiful in its own way.  Snow is really magical and mystical and it is 100% quiet until you step on it and it makes that wonderful crushing noise.  If you have ever been on a walk in a remote area while it is snowing everything is QUIET unless an elk or deer is close by.  Listen intently, and if you hear a crushing of the snow look around and you will probably see a wonderful animal eating from a tree and hearing the hoofs crush the snow around it.  QUIET lends to the essence of the sacred.  Experiencing a time alone in perfect QUIET allows your mind to dump the thoughts that fill it day and out and discover that QUIETNESS of just being you. An interesting experiment is to have the family sit with only the light of a candle for a period of twenty minutes (or five depending on age of the children) experiencing QUIET.   Listening to what each person has to say after this experiment is a lot of fun.  Set aside a time for QUEIT weekly.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:PEACE

PEACE

It is important to have inner PEACE.  Inner PEACE is a state of being content with whatever the situation is.  If you panic about something you are wasting valuable resources of time, energy, and action.  When something comes your way that is upsetting it is easy to lose your inner PEACE.   When you do lose your PEACE you can get it back easy too by practicing your mantra or your breathing.  Unsettling situations require a presence of mind otherwise you can make decisions and take action that is not helpful because of that deep inner need to fix things or control them.  When you are insisting on control, you will lose your PEACE often.  Practicing PEACE is an effort of intention that requires mindful action.  PEACE does not have to be illusive.  PEACE is something you aspire to achieve on a daily basis.  Take an inventory of the issues in your life that steal your PEACE.  Ask yourself how these PEACE stealing issues continue to harass your ability to enjoy your daily life?  Where do you need to shift your focus in order to maintain a sense of PEACE, regardless of the situation you are facing?  What do you get out of being hysterical about any situation?  Life happens.  People die. People betray you. People get horrible illnesses and have life changing accidents.  That is reality.  Reality is not powerful enough to steal your PEACE if you don’t allow it.  PEACE is an attitude and a practice.  PEACE is acquired by action.

YOUR LFIE A-Z:JOURNEY

ENJOY THE STEPS ALONG THE WAY

JOURNEY

I am sure you have heard of the saying life is a JOURNEY, not a destination.  If you approach life as a Journey what is your gain?   Perhaps, the first positive gain is that you slow down. If you slowed down, maybe you would take the time to plant an herb in your kitchen window and nurture it toward wholeness?  If you treated life like a JOURNEY then there would be time to watch plants grow.  By treating life as a JOURNEY there would be time to write in your journal and you could record the blessings of today.  Perhaps a trip to the botanical gardens in your city where you would enjoy the beauty of life all around you would be a joyful thing to do on your JOURNEY.

 If you are on a JOURNEY such as a hero’s JOURNEY, then there is a reason to JOURNEY, a purpose.  The purpose of the hero’s JOURNEY is to get the golden ring or the blessed challis of life.   The hero’s JOURNEY requires you to overcome some obstacles along the way in order for you to appreciate your gain at the end.  However, the hero’s JOURNEY does not end with the challis or the ring, the hero returns from his/her JOURNEY with something for the people.  Any way you look at it life is difficult from time to time, how you view that difficulty will make the difference as to whether you are a hero or a victim.  JOURNEY for the sake of the JOURNEY.  JORNEY for pleasure. JOURNEY to enjoy all that is around you.

YOUR LIFE A-Z: HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY

UNALIENABLE ...THERE IS NO HOBBY LOBBY OUT HERE!

UNALIENABLE 

 HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY 

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”  UNALIENABLE is not a word that easily nor poetically rolls off of one’s tongue.  It also seems to be a word that no one pays much attention to, and certainly not one that is mindfully considered in our society today.  However, today I choose to practice a bit of mindfulness as to what UNALIENABLE might mean as a tool of understanding for such a divided nation.  Today, I choose not to wear a hijab or niqab, but it is my Muslims sister’s right to wear one if she chooses.  Today, I still choose not to own a gun but respect UNALIENABLE rights of those who make that choice.  However, I do not believe it is an UNALIENABLE right for citizens to own an AKA 47 or any other weapon of mass destruction. I believe owning a weapon of mass destruction by private citizens steps on my UNALIENABLE right to LIFE AND LIBERTY.  I should be able to walk into a school, a mall, a movie theater or any other public building and not have my LIFE or LIBERTY threatened by a person who believes it is time for a massacre.  Today I choose to explore diversity in food, spirituality, political opinion, and celebrate the reality that diversity is a positive and enlightening way to come toward life.  It is my UNALIENABLE right to love whom I love and dislike folks that to me are difficult for whatever reason.  I really don’t need to explain why I love or dislike anyone.  It is my UNALIENABLE right.  It is not my UNALIENABLE right to stomp on the LIFE, LIBERTY or pursuit of HAPPINESS of any other human.  I am thankful that by the time I was in third grade I could swim in the same pool with people of color and by the time I was in sixth grade I could go to school with people of color and even have a teacher of color.  That is my UNALIENABLE right to choose for myself and once upon a time it was not the case.  A nation divided cannot stand; a nation diverse is a rich and meaningful place to live and be.  Today I practice my UNALIENABLE right to put as much color, experience and diversity into my life of choice.  You have choices and UNALIENABLE rights too.  Celebrate them with respect and care, while being mindful of the UNALIENABLE rights of others.  Fireworks are colorful for a reason.  Enjoy their diversity and respect my UNALIENABLE right to say, don’t enjoy them at a cost of a forest fire or tragedy to someone else.  Be mindful in all that you do today as you celebrate your UNALIENABLE rights. 

YOUR LIFE A-Z: UNILATERAL

BE THE KING OF YOUR STUMP!

UNILATERAL

UNILATERAL is making a decision or plan in your own best interest or it can apply to a group of people making a UNILATERAL decision or action for the best interest of the group.  For instance, if you are president of a board and an executive decision must be made immediately, your power as president allows you to make a UNILATERAL decision in the best interest of the board for the time being.  The same applies to your personal life. Now how many things in your life are you waiting for someone else to decide for you? Or are you waiting on someone else to choose first?  Do you have unfinished business that you feel needs to be attended to and you are still waiting to for someone else to get back to you?  Take a strong look at what needs to be accomplished “now” and take back your UNILATERAL power of choice.  You are the person where the buck stops and you have no one to blame if your life is not where you want it to be.  Practice this simple but uncomfortable exercise to develop a sense of acting UNILATTERALLY.  Decide what you want to eat and make food choices for yourself.  Choosing what you want to eat is often a UNILATERAL choice you delegate to others. For instance, how often do you follow other people’s food choices rather than using your voice to ask for what you want to eat?  Do not remain silent when you want Chinese food and others want pizza.  Get my point? 

YOUR LIFE A-Z:QUALITY

BREATHE DEEPLY

QUALITY

QUALITY seems to be subjective opinions based on personal likes and dislikes as well as some educational understanding of that object you are judging as good or bad QUALITY.  Art and architecture fall into the eye of a trained and educated eye, but if you don't like Picasso then QUALITY won't matter.  Robert M. Pirsig, author of Zen the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, drives himself and sometime me, the reader, to the brink of insanity trying to define QUALITY.  It seems simple to me.  We seem to recognize QUALITY and often produce QUALITY.  Allowing ourselves to take Pride in our work will empower us to continue to produce QUALITY.  If we are not invested in what we are doing we usually do not produce QUALITY.  If we care about what we are doing then we invest more energy and Pride in it, thus QUALITY.  As Pirsig points out, it is really impossible to have "more" QUALITY.  QUALITY either is or is not.  What is QUALITY in your life?  What do you do really well that you take Pride in?  Where are there places of QUALITY in your home?  What images come to your mind when you hear the word QUALITY?  Clearly, QUALITY is sought after by everyone, even a redneck seeks a QUALITY beer.  That QUALITY may not necessarily be judged by taste, but might be judged by inexpensive and cold.  See QUALITY is truly subjective!  

YOUR LIFE A-Z XYSTER

THESE CACTUS APPEAR SOFT BUT CLEARLY RUB THE WRONG WAY

XYSTER

Yes, "X" words are few in the English language.  XYSTER is a surgical instrument used for scraping bones and making them smooth.  It reminds me of large file I once  used when I thought creating something from a block of soap stone was a good idea.  So, a bone that needs to be scraped and made smooth brings up that old adage, "I have a bone to pick with you."  Which means something is rubbing you the wrong way and annoying you. What is bothering you and rubbing you the wrong way?  What is under your skin causing you to be annoyed?  Today is a day to smooth out the rough places inside. Pick up the phone and call someone that you have been waiting to call you.  Send a card to someone that has hurt your feelings.  Reach out to that family member that has annoyed the hell out of you.  Smooth things out inside of yourself.  Make sure that your surgical instrument is clean and sanitised.  Don't reach out until you are ready. If you have expectations as to how the other person needs to respond to your olive branch of peace, thenyour XYSTER is not clean for surgery.  You need to prepare yourself to reach out for you not because you expect anything in return.  It is our expectations that cause us our suffering.  Bone scraping is painful and requires healing time as well as very precise actions to get the bone smooth enough not to bother or annoy you with future encounters.  

YOUR LIFE A-Z WISDOM

ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE BLESSED

WISDOM

WISDOM requires integrating a value system of reflection, experience, good judgement, and discernment.  It does not come without experience.  WISDOM is a characteristic of living a life with soft eyes and gentle footsteps.  WISDOM allows the wise one to take his/her time in making decisions, speaking his/her truth, and a following a clear path of compassion with fellow people encountered on the path.  To practice WISDOM is to be aware of your thoughts and how your thoughts affect your quality of daily life.  Each day counts.  Each day you make a difference in your life and the life of others by your thoughts, words, and actions.  Awareness of how you impact others and your own quality of life is essential to establishing quality and virtue in living.  If you want to live a better life, seek daily WISDOM.  Ask for compassion and WISDOM. Ask for guidance as to how to make the best choices for yourself and those you come in contact with.  Practice WISDOM with your spending.  You work hard for your money. Choose where to spend it and how to spend it, but don't become cheap.  Buy quality.  Enjoy living.  Enjoy the day to day grind.  WISDOM is enjoying the moment.  Place a slice of lemon in your water and notice your smile and quality of living increase.  WISDOM is in tandem with enjoyment and quality.  If you don't experience enjoyment and quality of life, you are not practicing WISDOM.  Make today a day of enjoyment and quality even if it is as simple as buying fresh flowers for your table.

YOUR LIFE A-Z VALUE

ENJOY THE ARRANGEMENT OF BEAUTY

VALUE

What is it that you value and how do you know that you value it?  Value is also a word that one needs to "qualify"; how much value do I place on that which I value.   Because we are at the start of the New Year, let's not talk about monetary value, but heart value.  If we really value someone, why is it that we really don't listen to what s/he says or needs?  Why do we continue our same old behavior that they tell us hurts them.  Is it because we really don't care if we hurt them or is it because we just believe they are trying to change us and we refuse to change for the good of the couple-hood or family.  See, value is not as simple as it sounds.  In fact, value is quite complicated.  So during this time of taking the Twenty Minute Coach as a serious route of change for this coming year, spend some reflective time with the word value.  The dictionary says to value something is to decide on its worth, importance, and its usefulness.  I do not believe we can value others until we value ourselves.  But, paradoxically, unless we value others they are not going to stick around unless they believe they deserve someone who does not hear them.  What would be so wrong with making some change for those around you?  What is it that you really value?

YOUR LIFE A-Z SILENCE

SERENE AND SILENT

SILENCE is one of the most important mindful techniques and tools that you can integrate into your daily life.  Set a timer and sit for 5 minutes.  Do nothing but sit.  What was that like?  Did your mind abuse you with negative thoughts about wasting time and not getting things done?  Did you notice sounds that you would have missed because you were not mindful of them, like birds chirping or the soft whirl of the heating unit?  It is also useful to practice SILENCE when you have nothing kind or nice to say.  Being SILENT in the middle of chaos can calm everyone down.  It is easier to explore any situation that is happening if you give it a moment of reflective SILENCE.  If you are someone who needs background noise such as music or TV playing in the background,then choose to turn that static noise off for ½ hour a day and notice what happens.  If you do that for thirty days, I believe you will notice a positive difference in your being.  SILENCE is not only golden, it is also electric.  It allows you the time to tune into important internal information and pay attention to feelings, emotions, and thoughts by giving wisdom a chance to settle in around you. Like a wonderful gentle blanket letting you know without words what you need to focus on next.  If you have an important question that you are trying to obtain an answer to, just ask it and practice SILENCE until you know the answer.  You will know when you know.  

YOUR LIFE A-Z:ZEN

SUFFER LESS- CONNECT WITH YOUR SELVES

ZEN

ZEN is one of the meditative arts and spiritual practices that began in China during the 6th century and moved south to Vietnam, northeast to Korea, and east to Japan.  ZEN de-emphasizes doctrine and emphasizes the meditative state of enlightenment, where all is well inside of your regardless of what chaos is going on outside of you.  ZEN is a state of being that is calm, aligned, confident, and centered even though your spouse may have just walked out or your car got totaled by an unfortunate accident. ZEN is important because it keeps our bodies in rhythm, our blood pressure normal, our heart rate perfect, and our fear levels within appropriate range.  The ZEN master that you might be familiar with is Thich Nhat Hanh.  This 87-year-old ZEN monk says, “Meditation practice can help us suffer less.”  The ZEN state is achieved through mindfulness, which is achieved through sitting.  When sitting in ZEN practice the goal is to stay focused on breath, now, being and noticing. If there is pain in your position breath into it, let it move out. If there is a negative thought, notice it and let it move on out to the horizon and drop off of the face of the earth.  There are many ways to practice and you can find your own way only if you set aside the time to sit and be.  You can read any of many books to help you, or you can look up a ZEN center on the web and go check out this important practice of inner peace.