Monday, March 31, 2014



Yep, it is KAPUT all right.  It is completely broken and useless.  How many things do you have in your house that are KAPUT?  How many pieces of clothes do you have in your closet or sock draw that you just need to take to the TRASH?  Yes, I said trash.  Don’t give your broken, used, useless, tattered clothes to someone else through the thrift store.  How tacky is that?  If it is so worn you won’t wear again with a sense of pride, why would you place it in a pink bag for a VET?  Those clothes in your closet that are too small or not your style or you only wore them once or twice, those are the clothes you put in the pink bag.  If you won’t wear it with pride then don’t give it to someone else.  Just because someone shops at the Good Will does not mean they are broken and useless.  I imagine your home is full of KAPUT’S and that those broken and useless things are taking up room that could be converted to a useful space for some of your treasures. Clear your KAPUT stuff out of your living space.  Make room for creative and clean energy.  If you hear negative self talk in your head, such as criticism from your mom or dad that says, “See, how wasteful you are.” Or “You never used that $43.00 potato peeler.”  Just remain on task.  Get rid of the KAPUTs and remind your parents and friends they don’t get a vote. If they can’t say something nice, don’t say it all.  KAPUT.  Those messages are broken and useless.

Sunday, March 30, 2014


Yes, write it down.  To JOURNAL is to record a story.  Think about it. Journalists are reporters that write down the event.  They don’t just report the event, such as, today there was a bank robbery at the corner of Bell and Jack Rabbit, they describe in detail the robbery.  Today, at 1:07, a blue pick up truck pulled into a very active strip mall and parked near the exit.  Two heavy set white males, appearing to be about 5’6” got out and walked to the bank.  As they entered, they nodded to a woman wearing a purple shirt and blue jeans.  She got in the bank line, fiddled to get her check book out of her leather purse, and when it was her turn at the teller, the two guys rushed behind her and stuck a gun in her back.  She told the teller, “I need $10,000 or these guys are going to kill me and everyone in the bank.  They are armed and have three hand gernades to dislodge if you don’t do this now and without any cues to anyone else. Understood?  See, got interested didn’t you?

Make your journaling a written and interesting report about your day. Now, take ten minutes and describe your day as definitive as possible.  “My first thought this morning was, I want taco’s tonight.  As I dressed in my black suite and turquoise blouse, my taste buds were remembering those tacos at Sierra Blanco.  You get the point.  Now go do it.  No Excuses.  Do and Do It Now!

Saturday, March 29, 2014




In the TWENTY MINUTE COACH, YOUR LIFE A-Z, I have covered the necessity of spontaneity, rest, break, and experiment.  IMPROMPTU is a very important word.  It means doing something without planning it. IMPROMPTU requires risk taking but not calculated risk taking.  It implies seeing the lake and jumping in it.  It implies following your intuition.  It implies going to the store and then deciding to drive by it and go to a different store even though it is further away.  Actively look for things to break up the monotony of your day today by doing something IMPROMPTU.  Have plans for dinner?  Change them, go somewhere else instead.  Going to the gym?  Go for a walk or hike instead.  Pick up the phone and call (DO NOT TEXT) someone in your contact list you have not talked to in a very long time.  Invite someone you don’t know very well to lunch.  Go to church, walk a labyrinth, read a science fiction book if you are a novelist, wear different colored socks.  Whatever it is, practice doing something out of the ordinary today and everyday.  Your life is in a rut because you keep doing the same old thing. You have dug in track marks that now feel impossible to get out of.  Turn the wheel of that car and apply some gas even though it may be a bit bumpy for a moment or two. Get out of your daily grind with IMPROMPTU acts of doing it different.  At least, walk backwards for a few steps.

Friday, March 28, 2014


What is happy to you?  What are you really saying when you say I just want to be happy?  As I have said,  “Happiness is not an illusion, but neither is it a destination.”  I see it as a space within you.  The dictionary defines contentment as a place of happiness and satisfaction.  Being HAPPY is a space or place wherethere is a reservoir of positive energy, decorated with fond memories, and an invitation to sit and enjoy the present moment, using all of your senses of smell, taste, touch, hear, and feel.  Experiencing the moment is a space within you as the moment passed already, so it is a pause button of HAPPY.  HAPPY space is a choice.  We can choose to focus on bad memories, ugly situations, and things in the past that were not fair.  Or we can choose to be anxious and worry about every possible thing that can go wrong in the future or we can place the present moment on “pause,” and allow ourselves to switch channels in our head and enjoy the creation of HAPPY.  If we did this as often as we check our Facebook every day imagine how lush, lovely, and exhilarating our HAPPY space could become.  We would enjoy going there to experience the joy of being alive, as well as the moment of sweet contentment in the facts.  These are the facts: If you are reading this you are alive, be grateful.  If you are grateful you will count your blessings and if you count your blessings you will enter your HAPPY space.  Yep…that is fact.  

Thursday, March 27, 2014



Being gentle with yourself as you move toward change is the best gift that you can give yourself.  Being unforgiving, critical, and demanding will hurt you at your core. Harshness injures your soul. Negativity damages you at your cellular level, making your cells ragged and mutating.  Being GENTLE with yourself is an amazing tool for healing. And if I call it a tool, it will be more palatable for some of you.

When I suggest a GENTLE inner voice to a client, it sometimes makes them recoil in disgust.  That tells me a lot about the level of shame they have at their core self.  Usually, the words that roll out of his/her mouth after I suggest a GENTLE inner voice are “I am not going to be weak or a cry baby.”  That response often comes when I make a suggestion such as, “I know you are feeling disappointed with your choice right now and you need to have some alone time to deal with the hurt.” Verses a response that says, “Stupid, you did it again, you are always going to be a loser just like your father said you would.”  So, if GENTLE is a tool, just like breath work, journaling, affirmations, emotional regulation, and goal setting, then GENTLE is just another tool in your Coaching tool box.

If a situation needs a tiny screwdriver, a hammer is not going to be helpful.  So, choose the right tools for the right situations. A tiny screwdriver is necessity in all toolboxes.  So is the GENTLE inner voice or a GENTLE touch, or a GENTLE response a necessity for positive change.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014




Yes, today you have full permission to work on the embodiment of your idea, dream, goal, and personal happiness.  What do you need to get it done?  How you cultivate, nurture, and strengthen the reality of your goal? To FOSTER your dream you must spend time with it every day.  FOSTER your dreams by spending time imagining the outcome.  Do not focus so much on what is missing from your dream but the finished picture when you have completely embodied your dream.
For instance, let’s say financial security is one of your goals.  You have to know specifically what that is for you.  After DEFINING it, you need to know the benefits of achieving it. List three benefits on how your life will be changed positively by reaching your financial security.  It is not that your bank account will be flush, but rather what are the personal benefits of being out of debt or having a savings account that will take care of you if something were to happen?  One benefit is an inner sense of security that you don’t have to worry when it is time for tires to be replaced on your car because you have spent time fostering a real financial independence.  FOSTER the outcome of financial security and focus the true benefits of having financial security.  Your life changes by making room for what you want.  Working a budget becomes fun when you see that saving money makes life lighter, brighter, and daily life becomes very pleasantly purposeful!

Tuesday, March 25, 2014



Yesterday’s word was DEFINE.  Today is EMBODY.  Embody your desires, dreams, and goals.  Especially embody your happiness.  Happiness is not an illusion but neither is it a destination, it is a space inside of us.  We can embody it by giving it concrete form.  We want to spend our time exploring what you will look like and feel like embodying happiness.  Spend time thinking about how differently you will feel if you make what you see on the inside a reality on the outside.

Taking an idea, goal or dream and making it real is the act of EMBODIMENT.  Your brain and your body are connected and interdependent on each other.  Imagine in your mind’s eye a situation that made you experience happiness.  Notice that the mental image makes your face light up with a smile.  When you reach your goal or establish your inner space of happiness what will it be like?  Flesh it out.  Create a vision board of happiness.  Go through magazines and clip out photos of what your happiness looks like.  Glue those pictures on a piece of poster board.  Place the board somewhere you can see it often.

Later today revisit the board and really look at each picture you chose.  What does that picture have to do with your happiness or goal?  How can you make that picture a reality?  List three to seven steps you will have to do to make that picture an outer reality in your daily life.  Then repeat that step with each picture.  What you are doing in this simple exercise is creating space inside of yourself to embody your happiness, dreams, or goals. You are making the life you want real.

Monday, March 24, 2014




Maybe in retrospect this should have been your first “D” word, but if you are like me, often times I cannot define what I want because I am not clear enough yet on what is it I want.  So now that we are going through the alphabetfor the forth time, it is important to stop, reflect, and clearly define where you are headed with your goals that you set out when you started this life changing process.  You are being invited to explore spirituality, creativity, ritual, prayer, experiences, and metaphors as active ways to live your life fully and completely.  If you were to write a paragraph about your happy life, how would you define your experience of being happy right now?  If you are not happier than when you started this process something is wrong.  Something is still missing and you need to find a way to put your finger on it.  Define it specifically in order to address the issue.  So, give writing a paragraph about your personal happiness a whirl right now.  DEFINE what specifically is making you happy.  Expound and describe the state of your personal happiness right now and explore how it might need to be tweaked to make you feel even more happiness.  Go back to the word ABUNDANCE.  Do you have enough?  Are you living within your means?   DEFINE what your next step is for the next thirty days.  DEFINE your attitude as the KINGFISH of your life.  DEFINE what you have control over and what you don’t have control over with the changes in your life.  Let go of what you don’t have control over and move on.

Sunday, March 23, 2014



COMPASSION is a practice.  It is a practice, because it does not always come easy.  It is not usually the first thing you feel when someone has hurt you, whether intentionally or not.  When we are hurt we experience shame, which is the interruption of a positive connection or experience.  It is typical when people experience shame they respond to it in one of four ways:
1.) Attacking other …you are dumb.  
2.) Attacking self…I am dumb.
3.) Withdrawal…I don’t want to deal with this.
4.) Avoid…think I will have another drink or donut.

Our normal and natural response to hurt is shame and our reaction to shame.  To practice compassion means to back up from the immediate knee jerk reaction and ask yourself, “What is going on with this other person?”  If the hurt was unintentional, take the time to dialogue with them as to how you experienced their painful remark so that you can re-establish connection and compassion.  If the hurt was intentional, then figure out why through dialogue.  If you reach the conclusion that this person is just not good for you then let them go from your life.  Do not keep people around that are going to cause you pain and emotional suffering. That is not self-compassionate to you. In Buddhism, practice self-compassion first.  Plus, keeping someone around who is hurtful is not compassionate to them either because resentment and anger just keep brewing within.  Who are the hardest people for you to practice COMPASSION?  

Saturday, March 22, 2014


This is not about the difference between BUDDHISM and Zen. This is about building on one practice and adding additional information in order that you develop spiritual muscle this year as well as psychological and physical muscle.  The TWENTY-MINUTE coach is about the body, mind, and spirit connection.  I do not believe it is possible to be whole without the trinity of wholeness present of body, mind, and spirit.  BUDDHISM talks about the eight fold path, which is a blueprint for living your best life,and can easily be incorporated into the action of the TWENTY-MINUTE COACH.  The eight-fold path covers Right Understanding; Right Thought; Right Speech;Right Action; Right Livelihood’; Right Effort; Right Mindfulness; and Right Connection.  

The good news is that it always starts with self.  If you are not in the eight fold path by being Right with yourself,then you are off balance and will not be able to live outwardly right with others.  You must be in Right Connection with yourself first and these daily reflections are teaching you how to tune into yourself, your heart, and your life in ways that you never thought of before.  So, practice Compassion and Connection with yourself first and all things will fall into place so that you can have a peaceful existence with others.  Don’t be scared of BUDDHISM. Look at BUDDHISM as a philosophy for living.  To understand more pick of up Pema Chodron’s book, The Places that Scare You.

Friday, March 21, 2014




ABUNDANCE is really a belief system.  Do you operate from a perspective that there will always be enough to do you come from a place of scarcity, where quantity can run out and there won’t be enough for you?  This is not about that worn out old saying, “Is your glass half-empty or half-full?”  It is about your deep down belief system.  Do you matter enough to be taken care of by the universe?  How much food do you throw away from your refrigerator each week?  How many extra pair of shoes do you have in your closet?  What other things fill your closet and drawer space?  You are not living in ABUNDANCE with extras, you are living in greed, fear and materialism.  ABUNDANCE is having enough, not more than you need.  The food system may not be able to support us in years to come and then our gluttony might have to come to an end, but there will be enough to sustain us.  What do you need to sustain you?   Living simply is ABUNDANT living.  Living within your financial means is ABUNDANT living?  Living on credit card debt is living frivolously and recklessly.  Yes, you may have debt from a medical bill that was a necessity, or a set of tires your are paying off for your safety, but if your credit card is filled with department store debt you are living irresponsibly.  If you want freedom then you must live in the ABUNDANCE of enough.  

Thursday, March 20, 2014



ZEN is one of the meditative arts and spiritual practices that began in China during the 6th century and moved south to Vietnam, northeast to Korea, and east to Japan.  ZEN de-emphasizes doctrine and emphasizes the meditative state of enlightenment, where all is well inside of your regardless of what chaos is going on outside of you.  ZEN is a state of being that is calm, aligned, confident, and centered even though your spouse may have just walked out or your car got totaled by an unfortunate accident. ZEN is important because it keeps our bodies in rhythm, our blood pressure normal, our heart rate perfect, and our fear levels within appropriate range.  The ZEN master that you might be familiar with is Thich Nhat Hanh.  This 87-year-old ZEN monk says, “Meditation practice can help us suffer less.”  The ZEN state is achieved through mindfulness, which is achieved through sitting.  When sitting in ZEN practice the goal is to stay focused on breath, now, being and noticing. If there is pain in your position breath into it, let it move out. If there is a negative thought, notice it and let it move on out to the horizon and drop off of the face of the earth.  There are many ways to practice and you can find your own way only if you set aside the time to sit and be.  You can read any of many books to help you, or you can look up a ZEN center on the web and go check out this important practice of inner peace.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014



What is your heart yearning for?  When you took time to take a X-RAY of your feelings yesterday what did you discover about your emotional health?  What is missing in your life that you have always wanted?  This is a tough but very honest question because it means opening up to hurt and sadness.  Perhaps you have lost a loved one this year and your heart yearns for that connection to her/him again.  Perhaps you believe that you have never experienced love, real heart soul love to another and that you YEARN for that connection.  Sometimes our YEARNINGS are not within our ability to change immediately.  But sometimes our YEARNINGS can make us into a victim if we put a negative spin on them, such as, “Everyone else has a partner, why can’t I?”  It is important to explore our heart YEARNINGS and ask if they are helping or hurting us?  If you are not doing anything about your YEARNING then that is not helpful.  If you are going to grief groups and reading how to let go materials, you will get there.  Some days will be better than others.  If you don’t put yourself out there to meet other people you will stay alone.  Learning that you have choices even in the most difficult situations is a part of growing up and being a healthy adult.  It is hard and often lonely, but doable. Don’t ignore your YEARNINGS.  Sketch them out and do something about them or replace them with real possibilities.  I can YEARN for my youth, but it is not returning.  I can do youthful activities and feel young and that is a reality.  

Tuesday, March 18, 2014


These words starting with “X” are hard for me.  The lazy part of me just wants to substitute fun “F” words here instead.  But writing 250 + words per  blog the “X” words give me a particular writing challenge.  How does X-RAY fit into the TWENTY-MINUTE COACH?  Well X-RAYS are both helpful and harmful.  Thus we only want to use X-RAYS in moderation because the photons in X-RAYS carryenough energy to ionize atoms and disrupt molecularbonds that damages cell tissue.  This damage creates opportunity for mutant cells to break off and become dangerous or cancerous to the rest of the body.  Thus, moderation is very important.  The helpful part of X-RAYS is that they allow us to see inside of our body structure detecting harmful growths, fractures, and other bizarre things that might be going on inside of us.  It is important for you to practice X-RAY vision and attention to your feelings.  Don’t keep stuffing them and pushing them underground otherwise they are very capable of creating real health problems that will need an X-RAY machine.  If you take the time on a regular basis to look inside of your heart and ask yourself what is it that you are really feeling about your life, your relationships, your journey, and your self then you will benefit from feeling more alive, less fearful, and more excited about all of the potential you have in your daily life.  So look inside on a regular basis and check out what is going on in your heart.

Monday, March 17, 2014



You don’t need me to tell you that our lives would be better if we walked more.  You have heard things such aspark far away in order to WALK further.  It is best for our heart if we WALK 10,000 steps in a day.  Wear a pedometer and see how few steps you actually take when you are not actively working on it.  There are other reasons walking can benefit your soul.  It is probable that many of you have not heard of walking as a way of prayer or walking as a spiritual practice.  

I will be talking about the Labyrinth in the next “L” word, but I thought I would introduce you to it through this important “W” word.  To WALK a Labyrinth as a part of a spiritual practice, means meditating about putting one foot in front of the other while staying on the one path to the center and back out again. Walking for no other reason than to pray.  Carving out a twenty-minute moment in your busy life to walk as a way of reflection.  To WALK means to move; to move means taking steps forward; taking steps forward allows us to become more of who we want to be. Action is the best way to change.  To WALK is one of the easiest actions that we can do.  If you can’t WALK, imagine walking.  Some of the most important things that we can do in our lives are the simplest.  Determine to WALK more this year, physically and spirituality.

Sunday, March 16, 2014



I have been speaking about your buy-in throughout the TWENTY MINUTE COACH.  Vested is not only about your emotional, physical, and spiritual buy-in to your accomplishment, it is your right to obtain what it is you want in your life.  The U.S. Constitution guarantees you a vested right of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.  That is your right as an American.  Perhaps all of my readers are not Americans, but the point can be extrapolated to certain rights of individuals just becauseyou are a human being.  In order for you to access those rights, you must be VESTED, you must buy-in as something that is of the utmost importance to you.  The more important something is to you the more you are willing to work to make it happen.  If your goals are not materializing by this point it is probably because you chose goals that are just not that important to you.  If you are closer than you were a month ago then progress is a result of your VESTED interest in accomplishing that which you set out to accomplish.  In employment situations, employees usually become VESTED after they have worked for a company of five or more years.  That means they get a little pension or money after they retire as a result of being “VESTED,” committed to the company.  Commitment to the finish line will only happen if you are VESTED in the outcome and that there is some personal benefit for finishing.

Saturday, March 15, 2014



What is the ULTIMATE for you?  What is your utmost goal?  What would have to change or need in your life right now to say, “Yes, today was an ULTIMATE day?”  A couple of weeks ago we talked about the word “Finish.”  What is the ultimate conclusion, finish, desire that you want to accomplish?  An ULTIMATE Marathon finish can be winning in your age bracket, winning the entire Marathon as number one, or beating your last time.  You get to decide what is ULTIMATE to you and what is not.  But you will never reach ULTIMATE if you don’t define what it is for yourself.  

Definitions allow us to actualize our goals.  Without definition we do not know where we are, so we might say, this was the ULTIMATE experience, but still feel disappointed inside because we had no clear definition as what it was we wanted to accomplish.  Definition allows us to make ULTIMATE more than a once in a lifetime event.  Break the word down into small micro-bites.  What was your ULTIMATE experience of this day?  Choose one.  What was the ULTIMATE part of your vacation?  What is the ULTIMATE class at school?   How is it that just tweaking your focus to the word ULTIMATE can helps you enjoy more of your day today?  How is it that by dreaming big and defining clearly you can ULTIMATELY have more of what you desire?  ULTIMATE is yours for the taking.

Friday, March 14, 2014


This is a valuable word for moving your life forward.  It is time to TWEAK the direction or orientation of your process. By now you know enough about where you are headed to know if you want to stay on this same path or if you need to TWEAK the direction a bit.  In the beginning you started with three goals and I asked you to choose one to work with for the first thirty days.  Now it is almost ninety days into the process and it is time to re-evaluate where you are and how you want to move forward from here.  How do you think you are doing?  If you were to write yourself a performance evaluation, what would it say?  Go back and look at your three goals.  Do they still fill you excitement and enthusiasm to move toward them?  What are the things that you need to tweak to make those goals exciting to you again? Remember if you don’t have an emotional buy-in you are going to frustrate yourself and sabotage your plan.  So now is the time to tweak it.  Maybe you want to chuck it completely?  I am going to ask you not to chuck it out for at least the next thirty days.  Just TWEAK it.  Change it.  Re-write it.  Add additional steps to help you see your success.  Get outside resources to help you past your stuck place.  Re-write what is not working and re-focus on the benefits of achieving your goals.  This ship can get to homeport with a little TWEAKING in the navigation department.

Thursday, March 13, 2014



How do you define personal or professional SUCCESS?  Your definition will outline whether or not you reach SUCCESS.  If you say, I know I am a SUCCESS as a parent because my kids behave, make great grades, and are all in college with happy relationships then your definition of SUCCESS is defined by how someone else is doing.  At any time something can go wrong with outside situations that will bring your SUCCESS crumpling down around you.  Is Peyton Manning a SUCCESS as a quarterback even though he failed to show up in the 2014, Super Bowl?  The game was not a SUCCESS, but still his career will go down in history as one of the most SUCCESSFUL quarterbacks of our time because of his record of SUCCESS.  How you feel about your choices on a regular basis is going to determine your measure of SUCCESS.   Were you there for your kids no matter what more times than not as they were growing up?  Did you go the extra mile in order to be involved in life?   SUCCESS is a series of steps in the right direction even when there is a storm, an obstacle, a painful event.SUCCESS is measured by the steps you took, not by your destination.  SUCCESS is an internal thermometer, not an outside measuring stick.  So ask yourself today about your steps and allow yourself to PRAISE your personal and professional SUCCESS.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014



RESIST the temptation to stop or slow down. Scream NO at any hint of quitting your project or goal you are working on.  RESIST those internal messages that say, “This is too hard.”  “What was I thinking, I can’t do this.”  Those voices and thoughts are like an infection in your soul and you must enhance your internal immune system to fight off the infection.  Perhaps you do need a three- day break.  Take it, but have a plan for returning to the direction you are headed in three days.  Perhaps you need to fortify your goal or dream with special knowledge from someone else or employ a resource to help you decide how to best proceed.  Whatever the case, get what you need to help your soul to be happy and healthy and RESIST the temptation to quit.  You can do this.  This is a dream that you started and have always wanted, whethera new home, a new car, a new career, or a new geographical location. Whatever it is that you wrote down at the beginning of this process that you wanted to pay attention to and change this year, you can accomplish it and you certainly can be closer to your goal than you were when you started.  RESIST whatever it is in your way.  Fight back offensively by making a strategic move that will change the energy of what is pulling down. If you can’t make a touchdown, score a field goal and move on into what it is that you are wanting.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014




A quantum is the smallest possible discrete unit of any physical property, such as energy or matter.  The word comes from the Latin root “how much.”  As we are involved with the Twenty Minute Coach, our year of change, Quantum is the perfect word to reduce some stress.  I will bet 99% of my readers examine their daily life with what did not get done, how much money is not in the account, and how much more is left to do?

Today, I want you to practice thinking backwards from your normal mode of operation.  Look at your accomplishments today. Did you brush your teeth?  List ten things that you did today.  I am reasonably sure each of you did at least ten things. Start with the obvious, like brushing your teeth.  When you add up ten things that you did today notice what it is like to focus on the smallest physical act that you did today.  It is highly probable that your mouth felt better after you brushed your teeth and your body felt better after you showered.

We have spoken about gratitude and even the benefits of keeping a gratitude journal.  By focusing on the minimum amount of accomplishment today, you build energy to keep doing small things.  Small things lead to big things, big things lead to feeling better and better about your choices.  Focus on the minimum today and watch your spirit lift.

Monday, March 10, 2014




PRAISE is defined as warm approval and admiration for someone who has done their job well. Praise is a certain type of positive energy that is contagious. For instance, at the end of a singing performance often times the audience in stand-up and applaud for the performer.  However, if you look around it takes two or three brave souls to stand up first and then the entire audience follows suit.  You need to PRAISE yourself on a daily basis for the positive choices that you made today to get yourself where you want to be.  

You got out of bed and maybe you didn’t even want to, but you did.  Give yourself around of applause.  Say good job, you acted as adult today on your own behalf rather than giving in to the blahs.  If you are sick and you stayed in bed, then good for you too. It is not helpful to push yourself when you are sick because it only makes you worse instead of better, so congratulate yourself for good self care.  Make a list of self care choices that you made during this trip through the TWENTY MINUTE COACH:Your Life A-Z and praise yourself for better self care during the year.  By using PRAISE you are creating positive feelings that benefit your immune system and your action plan by helping you do more of what is working already.  PRAISE will increase you productivity and joy in all that you are accomplishing. You will get more out of yourself and others when you use PRAISE often.  

Sunday, March 9, 2014



To live your best life is important to have a plan of “OFFENSE” and of course defensive plan as well.  NAIGATION requires and offensive plan.  Being the KINGFISH of your life is to live a plan of offense.  What do you want? When do you want it? What is the best wayto achieve it?  What resources do you need to achieve it?  Whom are you going to choose to be on your team?  Cut negative people from the team or at least bench them.  Acquire the best teammates that you can.  For instance, if one of your goals is to go back to college then who are the people that are going to be there to cheer you on?  Who is going to listen to you when you complain about a class or working while going to school?  Is that person going to be helpful by reminding you that this is not going to be forever?  Get out your pen and paper and write yourbig goal at the top of the page.  Next, answer each of the above questions with a list of 3-5 actions steps.  Being on the OFFENSE in our lives puts money in our savings account for emergencies such as flat tires or an unexpected hospital stay.  Being on the offense helps us making healthy food and exercise choices because we have bought into the fact that we must invest in our health.  Being on the OFFENSE plans vacations in order to keep motivated and break up daily monotony.  Live your life on the OFFENSE. 

Saturday, March 8, 2014




Where are you headed?  Have you considered that your life is going nowhere because you have no direction or map as to how to get from point A to point B?  A life with direction, goals, dreams, and desires requires navigation,which is a science of reading a map and a compass.  If you are a big ship out in the middle of the ocean, that feels absolutely wonderful if the captain of the ship is on course and knows how to NAVIGATE this big vessel to its location.  But if a big storm comes and blows out the NAVIGATION center, sitting in the middle of the ocean is no longer wonderful.  It becomes frightening and scary because there is no direction to move forward.  We need to re-direct the NAVIGATION system.  Use our internal resources to know the four directions, get in charge of this aimlessly floating vessel with action, and a call to for help.  There is no shame in asking for help with NAVIGATION.  It is hard to stay directed in the middle of a big ocean.  It is important to re-direct your life’s decisions and choices often.  When your children hit a milestone, it is time for moms and dads to re-access where they are headed.  When a job becomes boring or a relationship painful it is time to re-access yourNAVIGATION and get things moving again in the right direction.  You don’t need to float aimlessly in your life.  Get help to move where and what you need to move.  

Friday, March 7, 2014




What is it that makes your life meaningful and what is meaningful to you?  This word wraps nicely around gratitude because as we think about it, the word MEANINGFUL probably brings to mind things like family, children, friendships, good health, honest values, trustworthiness, and freedom.  As you reflect further on the word you might extract valuables from the periphery of the word and realize that a piece of jewelry or art,because of the occasion or giver, is very meaningful to you. You might also remember trips in your life that were MEANINGFUL and certain milestones, such as graduation from high school, baptism, commitment ceremonies, or special birthdays that were a part of creating you into the person you are today.  In one sense of the word, MEANINFULNESS sneaks up on us and just happens but we can create meaning too.  If you are feeling lost, bored, lonely, and struggling to find MEANINGFULNESS in your life today, then get out of yourself.  Go out and make someone else smile.  Go find a homeless person and bring them some lunch.  Look online and donate to a specific cause that’s meaningful to you.  Call up some one who might like to hear your cheery voice, say, “Hey, just checking in to see how you are doing?”  MEANINGFUL moments create MEANINGFUL lives.  Don’t sit around and feel sorry for yourself.  Get out and do something to make someone else feel better.  As a result, you will feel better because you made your life count today.  Today is all you have.  

Thursday, March 6, 2014




Do something today to make your environment LUSH.  As Merriam Webster says: be lavishly productive.” You are the KINGFISH of your life.  Yesterday you discarded, tossed, and deleted unnecessary chatter in your life.  Today spice up you life with accents that highlight your heartAdd flowers, music, candles, and light to your space.  Be colorful in your clothes and add a special touch to your hair. Smile.  Bring the outside in to the inside of your life.  Create in ways that make your life feel fertile with expectation of change. JUMP into your life in a new way today, exploring the abundance of your blessings and gratitude, and allowing new opportunities to flourish by nurturing them.  Fertilize areas that need attention so that they can be all that you want them to be.  Dance, sing, make today count in LUSH ways that make your feel like, “Oh, yeah.  I want to be here now.  I like my self and my space.  I enjoy being alive this moment.  This is soLUSH that I want to drink in every moment of now.  We once had someone tell us that if we tossed some green around our house that we would highlight our art.  They were right.  We finally understood what those fake green plants at department stores were for.  What can you do today to jump in and add some LUSH to your life?  Brighten up and smile.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014



True a Kingfish is a species of fish, but used informally it means a person of authority, a person of power behind any movement or operation.  It seems to me that we often don’t reach our goals because of our internal belief system that says we are helpless, needy, and dependent on others to get to where we want to go.  We buy in to this because it is the path of least resistance, takes little energy, and we end up sitting on the couch, watching reality TV shows, while feed ourselves toxic carbs that keep us repeating lethargic habits.  

The Twenty Minute Coach is inviting you to become the KINGFISH of your life.  You are the authority, the person of power, and the go-to leader that is in the center of the action.  You call the shots.  Today, to help you get started, get rid of things in your life that do not serve you.  Delete someone who bugs you from your Facebook.  After all it is your Facebook.  Throw stuff out of your closet.  Make a list of things to discard in your personal life such as your negative self -talk and your supposed friend that never calls you or reaches out to you.  If you are the only person in that friendship that calls or initiates a lunch date, STOP NOW.  Resolve not waste your time investing in something where there is no return on your investment.  Today take action and be the KINGFISH even if it is just for today.  Tomorrow you can repeat what you did today.  In twenty-one days you will have a habit of being the KINGFISH of your life.