Anxiety, under diagnosed and oftentimes over-treated by “big pharma,” will never change or get better without your personal involvement. The more energy you put into a situation the more personal satisfaction you get out of your effort. To support your energy and effort, I have created a safe and encouraging blog area to help you move forward in your life.
Rather than have a drink, toke, or a snort, to try to wipe away this ruminating anxiety by adding tools to the toolbox. Although it feels as if it is eating you alive, there are healthier ways to manage your anxiety, such as journaling. Writing Your Way to Healing and Wholeness is a guided journal, I will cover effective journaling in these first few blogs to enhance this form of art as meaningful outlet for you. Like many art forms, journaling is always an evolving process and each day either you have a new canvas to start or you are adding detail, texture, and context to what you wrote yesterday.

Not all art forms are the same; therefore, not all artists are the same. Some like working with clay and others with watercolor, while some don’t care for oils, others delve deep into the richness of color. Writing is the same way for people. For some, it would be boring just to record your daily life. However, recording your daily life may make you aware of how boring life has become for you! Thus, journaling as an “art” gets your creative juices going by supplementing your life and bringing life into the objects around you. For instance, anxiety that just won’t shut up becomes quiet, goes away, or stops for microseconds. The art of writing opens a new window of opportunity to do something different with anxiety by learning to externalize the anxiety, rather than be anxiety’s hostage.

To start externalizing your anxiety, set your timer for two minutes and close your eyes, imagine your anxiety and let it take form. What does the anxiety look like? How big? How small? What is its texture? Does it have an odor? What color or colors is it?

Once you have a clearly defined your anxiety, open your eyes, set your timer for three more minutes and write down the image of your anxiety. Take your time and really use your pen as a paintbrush and describe fully your anxiety. Take a deep breath and ask the anxiety, “What message do you have for me?” Write down what anxiety says. Notice how that message makes you feel inside of your body. Where do you feel it in your body and how would you like body to respond differently next time? Given the information from your body, write for three continuous minutes by responding to anxiety’s message to you. Continue back and forth in this dialogue. You may find the timer helpful or you may be ready to let the timer go and just keep dialoguing.

Timers are helpful tools when coping with concern or worry because anxiety enjoys being an intimidator. Anxiety enjoys its own chatter. It is constantly saying things like, “you are taking too much time,” “that was a stupid message,” and “this stupid exercise is getting your nowhere.” If you are writing while using a timer then you just keep focusing and moving on. A good analogy for me is physical therapy. While doing rehab for my knee replacement, the PT handed me a timer, I learned to hold a position for thirty seconds, one minute, and so on. The timer became my friend because when it went off I could let go. Similarly, the timer is a helpful friend while doing journal exercises.

Think about journaling as a therapy that helps you live a productive and engaged lifestyle with your friends, family, and yourself. Think about coming to your journal daily for as little as six-to- ten minutes. Then every other day add a minute. Eventually, you are doing ten to twenty-minute writing exercises every other day. That is enough if you want it to be. Some of you may write hours but that is not the usual experience of journaling folks. Six through twenty minutes is enough for personal growth and reflection. As in anything, consistency is the key.

Once a week spend a few minutes re-reading what you wrote. What was your focus? Where are you stuck? Where are you making progress? Where do you want you to focus this coming next week?

You don’t need to spend every exercise working with your anxiety, but if anxiety is a big issue for you dedicate at least one day a week externalizing it and dialoguing with the anxiety.  My new book allows you to discover many exercises.  Click on the link below to get your copy today.  

Writing Your Way to Healing and Wholeness

Virtual Summer Boot Camp

VIRTUAL SUMMER BOOT CAMP

Individualized program to help you get started on whatever it is you want to change. 

Start Date: By Appointment (30minutes-by phone of VSEE).

Includes 30 Minute Goal Defining Process Session

 6-20 Minute Focus Sessions

What better time to start than NOW!!! Fourth of July is Over the Next Holiday is not until     September 7th.  Seems to me it will give you something to look forward to and propel you toward your new goals and  personal change.   Here is a list of things to think about focusing on and try to get out of your box.

Who are some people that might benefit from a twenty-minute coach?

SPIRITUALITY:  Questions, spiritual issues, looking for help with a spiritual practice

HEALTH: Want to explore life-style and health changes

PERSONAL GROWTH: Looking for ways to use your voice and be visible to yourself and others.

PERSONAL STORY:  Look closely at you life’s story and relationships and move toward writing a new story. 

Parents:  who need immediate processing about what to do with a situation with their child.

Employees: Trouble-shooting relationships at work or deciding to move on or not

Bosses: Trouble-shooting work situations

People in life transitions:  Divorce, grief, job loss, career decisions, and life transitions of any kind. 

Anyone who is feeling a need for help, insight, direction, and/or to get out of old patterns and are serious about to moving forward  in his/her life.

If you are interested in using this innovative idea to help you get out of your box and get-started then email me at drrobinbdilley@gmail.com today.  All sessions must be used by September 7, 2015.  Introductory Price $350.00.  Ask about Premier Package for $500.00. 

Spirituality

 

SPIRITUALITY 

Fire burning within your soul, not because you it keeps you warm but because it brings you great joy to connect with the "Other."  Spirituality cannot be defined by others it has to be defined by you from deep within you being.  But you may notice as soon as you define it, it begins to evade you. The evasion of Spirituality is like trying to catch air in a bottle.  You can't see the air.  You can't drink the air.  You can't touch the air and if you pour water into the bottle then there is no space left for air to be.  Air is absolutely necessary for the survival of earthlings but it is not easy to capture or define.  Spirituality is absolutely necessary for earthlings but it will not be defined or contained nor restrained by our English language.  Spirituality is about experience.  Spirituality is about connection.  Spirituality is about other. Spirituality is about emotion.  Spirituality is about_____________________.  Yes, you can finish the sentence.  Spirituality is mystical, mystery and ordinary.  When you give a street musician a dollar for playing his/her banjo or when you give the waiter/waitress a tip you are practicing Spirituality. You are connecting with other in a meaningful way, making another earthling’s lives better.  Be the fire that turns many shades of color throughout your day.  Make someone else smile because you took a moment to make a difference.  As the Dali Lama say’s “My religion is kindness.”  It is connecting with your own inner fire that makes Spirituality the fire (action) a religion.  Sharing what is within and the sharing of your resources makes Spirituality come to life.  

YOUR LIFE A-Z:FAITH

ALL THINGS ARE SOLVED BY WALKING...

FAITH

FAITH is a word that often is tossed around in religious venues.  FAITH also implies a complete trust and confidence in a person you are in close relationship.   As the TWENTY-MINUTE COACH, I am going to introduce you to the James Fowler’s work, The Stages of FAITH.   Fowler outlines stages of FAITH just like Erik Erickson teaches about developmental stages of growing up.  Fowler contends that we grow up in our FAITH.   The six stages are:

Stage 0 (0-2) Primal –Undifferentiated where babies learn to trust or mistrust the environment

Stage I  (3-5) Intuitive-Projective struggles between imagination and logic

Stage II (school age) Mythic-Literal very concrete about justice and fairness

Stage III (12-adulthood) Synthetic- Conventional learning to be logical, deduct reason and understand abstract thought

Stage IV (20’s-30’s) Individual-Reflective marked with angst and struggle taking responsibility for FAITH beliefs.

Stage V (mid-life) Conjunctive often a look into the unconscious self

Stage VI (later stage) Universal Faith practicing compassion to all people

To read more about the stages go to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fowler's_stages_of_faith_development

The point of investigating these stages is that often people become stuck in a certain stage and his/her FAITH becomes stagnated.   I experience many people stuck in Stage I where God is more like Santa Claus who is quite magical.  The goal of adulthood is to move toward a Universal FAITH and co-exist compassionately with all beings.  FAITH is progressive and healing when we allow ourselves to grow up.  Growing up is a part of becoming whole and embracing our FAITH by taking personal responsibility for our beliefs is part of being a healthy adult.

YOUR LIFE A-Z: WATER

WATER CHANGES EVERYTHING

WATER

WATER is a powerful element that has served each of us in our daily life.  WATER is also a spiritual tool of emotional healing and renewal.  WATER is used in traditional Christian baptism and Holy WATER is used for blessing and protection.  Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz disintegrated the wicked witch of the West with WATER.  Native Americans and indigenous people of all continents use WATER rituals.  WATER is essential for our survival.  We can survive many days without food, but without WATER we die.  Today forward, train yourself to be mindful of WATER. Drink WATER, lots of WATER (sixty –four ounces plus). Each day and be mindful of how you feel after a nice glass of WATER.  Notice how easily it picks you up and refreshes your inner being.  Be prayerful and mindful of water when you are in the shower or bath.  It is a precious resource, don’t overuse it and be thankful that WATER is here to serve you in that cleansing way.   The WATER in your pool is sacred and we take it for granted.   WATER your yard only as it needs it and switch to as much zero-scape as possible.  Be resourceful with this sacred commodity and treat it mindfully with respect and gratitude.  In the same way that Water heals it can destroy, as many hurricanes and floods have proven in our history.  The Taoists say WATER, in its many forms, is a symbol of wisdom.  I say it is wise to use WATER mindfully at all times. 

YOUR LIFE A-Z:KABBALAH

WISDOM IS ALL AROUND YOU

KABBALAH

If I spent my 250-word allotment on explaining what KABBALAH is, I am afraid I would miss the point of this important K word.  Suffice to say that KABBALAH is an esoteric system of knowledge most prominent in early Judaism for the purpose of understanding the life force in each of us.  KABBALAH is often referred to as the tree of life; and by studying its ancient wisdom, especially numerology, we can gain insight into our current daily situation.  I am bringing the KABBALAH to your attention in order for you to remember that there are many resources and sources beyond our known self to help us live life in a more alert, conscious, and meaningful way.  We often limit our help from outside resources because we are practicing good old Western self-reliance or because we have been told some practices are evil or bad for us.  I believe we need to grab wisdom from many sources in order to help ourselves live productive and meaningful lives.  The KABBALAH is a powerful resource for us to explore and draw wisdom and insight from its wise teachings.  The KABBALAH is a system of wisdom and understanding that could be called the physics of our soul.  It is the systemic teaching that enables us to tap into our spiritual life.  It is being scientifically discovered that a spiritual life is not an add on of convenience but a necessary part of our wholeness. Emotional, Physical and Spiritual needs are a part of our biology, a part of our Tree of Life.  Carolyn Myss addresses this clearly in her book, ANATOMY OF THE SPIRIT.  Take a look. 

YOUR LIFE A-Z: YOGA

OM

YOGA

YOGA is not a trend.  YOGA has existed in Eastern countries as long as history has been documented.  The word YOGA is an umbrella term for a variety of teachings and is a multi-layered system of practice to bring forth the best in you.   The Twenty Minute Coach invites you to check YOGA out.  There are many APPS available for download, T.V. thirty-minute practices on regular channels, and a YOGA studio on every corner.  So how do you choose which practice will work for you?  Rather than going to one YOGA class and saying, “YOGA is not for me or this is too hard,” try at least three different types.  I use the three- rule when I am helping people choose a good psychotherapist or life coach.  I tell them to interview or experience three different people and choose one from those three to work with for a period of time.  It is the same with YOGA.  Go to a studio that is convenient and has classes for beginners at a time frame that works for you.  Download an APP or watch a few poses on UTUBE.  Then practice those poses until you feel some sense of success.  Next, Google YOGA practices on line and learn a little more about them.  Practice YOGA for thirty days and you may find yourself hooked and seeking more.  Be gentle with yourself and allow your consciousness and inner core to strengthen through your practice.  YOGA will help build your emotional and spiritual discipline allowing you to expand your positive energy in your daily life. 

YOUR LIFE A-Z READ

READ
What is it that you always wanted to know or to do?  READ about it.  Find out as much as you can about those subjects that interest you.  Make yourself a research project and become an expert on anything you want to know about.  READ as a way to educate, stimulate, and develop passion.  There are so many things out there to do and to discover and talented authors can take you there by the way they make the words on a page dance life right into your being.
Here are some interesting reads if you want to know something more about spirituality and Buddhism, read Pema Chodron’s, The Places that Scare You. To enjoy an entirely different take on Buddhism read, Buddha Walks Into the Bar by Lodro Rinzler.  If you want to understand the history and spiritual connection with the Virgin Mary, read Clarissa Pinkola Estes book, Untie the Strong Woman: Blessed Mother’s Immaculate Love for the Wild Soul or if you have an avid researcher inside give the History of God a whirl by Karen Armstrong.  For a psychological vacation, read Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection or if you are feeling lost try The Passion Test by Atwood and Atwood.  Want to explore the caves of your own soul spend some time working on Janet Conner’s Writing Down the Soul or the Lotus and the Lily.  Of course there are many wonderful novels to read, so whatever suits your fancy, go explore the world of READING today.  Don’t forget that I have IN A MOMENT’S NOTICE: A PSYCHOLOGIST’S JOURNEY WITH BREAST CANCER and it is just a click away at Amazon or Barnes and Nobles.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:COMPASSION

ALL THAT MATTERS IS THIS MOMENT OF PRACTICE

COMPASSION

COMPASSION is a practice.  It is a practice, because it does not always come easy.  It is not usually the first thing you feel when someone has hurt you, whether intentionally or not.  When we are hurt we experience shame, which is the interruption of a positive connection or experience.  It is typical when people experience shame they respond to it in one of four ways:

1.) Attacking other …you are dumb.  

2.) Attacking self…I am dumb.

3.) Withdrawal…I don’t want to deal with this.

4.) Avoid…think I will have another drink or donut.

Our normal and natural response to hurt is shame and our reaction to shame.  To practice compassion means to back up from the immediate knee jerk reaction and ask yourself, “What is going on with this other person?”  If the hurt was unintentional, take the time to dialogue with them as to how you experienced their painful remark so that you can re-establish connection and compassion.  If the hurt was intentional, then figure out why through dialogue.  If you reach the conclusion that this person is just not good for you then let them go from your life.  Do not keep people around that are going to cause you pain and emotional suffering. That is not self-compassionate to you. In Buddhism, practice self-compassion first.  Plus, keeping someone around who is hurtful is not compassionate to them either because resentment and anger just keep brewing within.  Who are the hardest people for you to practice COMPASSION?  

YOUR LIFE A-Z: BUDDHISM

BUDDHISM

This is not about the difference between BUDDHISM and Zen. This is about building on one practice and adding additional information in order that you develop spiritual muscle this year as well as psychological and physical muscle.  The TWENTY-MINUTE coach is about the body, mind, and spirit connection.  I do not believe it is possible to be whole without the trinity of wholeness present of body, mind, and spirit.  BUDDHISM talks about the eight fold path, which is a blueprint for living your best life,and can easily be incorporated into the action of the TWENTY-MINUTE COACH.  The eight-fold path covers Right Understanding; Right Thought; Right Speech;Right Action; Right Livelihood’; Right Effort; Right Mindfulness; and Right Connection.  

The good news is that it always starts with self.  If you are not in the eight fold path by being Right with yourself,then you are off balance and will not be able to live outwardly right with others.  You must be in Right Connection with yourself first and these daily reflections are teaching you how to tune into yourself, your heart, and your life in ways that you never thought of before.  So, practice Compassion and Connection with yourself first and all things will fall into place so that you can have a peaceful existence with others.  Don’t be scared of BUDDHISM. Look at BUDDHISM as a philosophy for living.  To understand more pick of up Pema Chodron’s book, The Places that Scare You.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:ZEN

SUFFER LESS- CONNECT WITH YOUR SELVES

ZEN

ZEN is one of the meditative arts and spiritual practices that began in China during the 6th century and moved south to Vietnam, northeast to Korea, and east to Japan.  ZEN de-emphasizes doctrine and emphasizes the meditative state of enlightenment, where all is well inside of your regardless of what chaos is going on outside of you.  ZEN is a state of being that is calm, aligned, confident, and centered even though your spouse may have just walked out or your car got totaled by an unfortunate accident. ZEN is important because it keeps our bodies in rhythm, our blood pressure normal, our heart rate perfect, and our fear levels within appropriate range.  The ZEN master that you might be familiar with is Thich Nhat Hanh.  This 87-year-old ZEN monk says, “Meditation practice can help us suffer less.”  The ZEN state is achieved through mindfulness, which is achieved through sitting.  When sitting in ZEN practice the goal is to stay focused on breath, now, being and noticing. If there is pain in your position breath into it, let it move out. If there is a negative thought, notice it and let it move on out to the horizon and drop off of the face of the earth.  There are many ways to practice and you can find your own way only if you set aside the time to sit and be.  You can read any of many books to help you, or you can look up a ZEN center on the web and go check out this important practice of inner peace.

YOUR LIFE A-Z : WALK

WALK, FOLLOW THE PATH OF ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER

WALK

You don’t need me to tell you that our lives would be better if we walked more.  You have heard things such as“park far away in order to WALK further.”  It is best for our heart if we WALK 10,000 steps in a day.  Wear a pedometer and see how few steps you actually take when you are not actively working on it.  There are other reasons walking can benefit your soul.  It is probable that many of you have not heard of walking as a way of prayer or walking as a spiritual practice.  

I will be talking about the Labyrinth in the next “L” word, but I thought I would introduce you to it through this important “W” word.  To WALK a Labyrinth as a part of a spiritual practice, means meditating about putting one foot in front of the other while staying on the one path to the center and back out again. Walking for no other reason than to pray.  Carving out a twenty-minute moment in your busy life to walk as a way of reflection.  To WALK means to move; to move means taking steps forward; taking steps forward allows us to become more of who we want to be. Action is the best way to change.  To WALK is one of the easiest actions that we can do.  If you can’t WALK, imagine walking.  Some of the most important things that we can do in our lives are the simplest.  Determine to WALK more this year, physically and spirituality.

Walk Your Talk -Personal Experience at Labyrinth Training with Dr.Lauren Artress

San Francisco in and of itself is a magical place.  It was proabably over an hour of my first walk down the streets of China Town and North Beach before I heard a word of English.  People of all colors, of all sizes, of all ethnicities walked with intent on the street while tourists meandered like me.  Here is is November and my first purchase was a baseball cap because the sun was beating dowon on my thinly covered scalp.  I wandered with anticipation about what these next two days would hold.  I was curious as to why I was here now.  

Yes,  I know I chose to come here.  But there have years of training and I have designed and conducted several Labyrinth workshops on my own already.  So, why here, why now?   I opened the door to the room to find Lauren Artress preparing and I said, "Hello Lauren," as if I knew her.  From that moment on I entered a space that unfolded piece by piece. 

We used Seven Whispers by Christine Baldwin as our text and I certainly would recommend The Lily and the Lotus by Janet Conner (which I used to prepare myself for this time).  We sat in a circle and told stories, stories about who really were, not what we did for a living.  We told stories of heartbreak and joyful experiences. We connected to our source deep within and to each other.

At one point yesterday, I was expressing my doubt, and said "Really, God.  Is this what you really want?"  Lauren looked at me and said,  "The question is, what is it Robin wants?"  It became chrystal clear in that moment.  I want to conduct life changing workshops using the Labyrinth and other metaphors of healing, that bring the best out of people so that they can be about the business of making a differencei in the world.  I want to transition my practice to workshosps and twenty minute coaching.  

I have been working over the past few weeks on a new project, The Twenty Minute Coach.  I will  be premeiring the program in January and I am excited that my practice is morphing into something new.  It is an evolution.  Those of you in my practice, do not get scared.  I am not going anywhere and you may not notice the change, and the changes you do notice will be positive.  Life is always changing and if we allow ourselves, we can be transformed through those changes.  We can resist.  I did not know how much resistance I had on board until yesterday, but In A Moment's Notice yesterday, my direction changed.  I will be resposting some old blogs on the labyrinth andI will be doing, "Walk a DIrect Path in 2014 on January 11, 2014.  For those of you ready to experience the Labyrinth as a transformative tool can go to my website and sign up today for that workshop.  More blogs to
come!

Lessons From the Life of Pi

Lessons from the Life of Pi:

There are many lessons throughout this wonderfully complex movie …too many to write about in today’s newsletter.  Some of those lessons I will be blogging about at www.blogsot.com/drdilley.
However, if you have not watched the movie, please do so and focus (for the purpose of this article) on the part of the movie where Pi trains Richard Parker.  (Richard Parker is the tiger’s name.)
In this segment of the movie a lot of lessons have already been learned by Pi, especially a really important, but perhaps harsh lesson (sometimes in life we need a bit of harshness to get the point).  That lesson was:  tigers are tigers and they are carnivores.  They will eat you.
Pi’s father taught him that lesson when Pi was very young and he was getting ready to feed the tiger by hand.  For those of you who are parents, think about how quickly you react when your young child runs out into the middle of oncoming traffic.  A good parent does not say, “Now Jimmy or Susie, don’t do that.”  A good parent grabs the child from the middle of the intersection and proceeds to find a way to express how dangerous that action was and insist it never ever happen again.
Pi learned that lesson and it came in very handy when he was in the middle of the ocean for days, if not weeks, on the same boat as Richard Parker.  Pi was clearly intimidated and afraid and spends most of his time on a very poorly made raft, keeping a safe distance from Richard Parker.  Richard Parker on the other hand enjoyed the boat, with shade and lots of space.
This raises the therapeutic question,  “What are you doing on the raft when your fear is ruling you from the much more comfortable life boat?”
Finally, when Pi became more and more uncomfortable on the raft, he decided it was time to train Richard Parker.  The battle between human and beast - or you and your fear - begins.
In the beginning, the training did not go well and Richard Parker maintained control of the lifeboat.  But one day, Pi decided that perhaps it was a good idea to make Richard Parker seasick.  The next few scenes are a brilliant display of Pi rocking Richard Parker’s luxurious lifeboat while using the gentleness of the whistle to comfort Richard Parker.   The whistle created interest in Richard Parker and he began to pay attention to the whistle.  From that point on, Richard Parker and Pi created a safe dance between the two of them and they were able to co-exist with mutual respect and awareness; they needed each other.

Who is Richard Parker (fear) in your life?
How is Richard Parker taking over your life and your comfort zone?
How can you begin to train your fear to be under the trance of your whistle in order for you and your fear can co-exist?

Perhaps your fear will never go away or perhaps one day it will walk away in respect to your needs, as Richard Parker left Pi lying on the beach.  But none the less, for now your fear is like Richard Parker, an untamed tiger that needs to be trained in order for you to move forward in your life.  I invite you to write about you and your relationship to your fear pretending your fear is a wild beast that if given a chance will eat you alive.  See what comes up for you.

If you want to explore this metaphor more fully, you can email at drdilley@psycyhcotherapyunlimted.com to make an appointment to explore what this movie can do for you.

Labyrinth Mondays: Necessary Journeys

It is a journey to Bethlehem from Nazareth which is about 80 miles, traveled with donkey and on foot would be at least a four day journey, perhaps a week given that Joseph was an older man and Mary was with child, not any child, but the Christ Child. That is the traditional Christmas story. In our Labyrinth Mondays, we have been talking about the power of the journey. There are many journeys in our lives that we just do not want to take but for whatever that makes sense to us at the time, the journey feels like a must. Mary and Joseph had to take the Journey as they had to pay taxes. It was necessary.


The 3-Day Breast Cancer walk of 60 miles has become a phenomenon in America. It is a journey that breast cancer patients, their friends and relatives take to punctuate the power of survival and the hope for a cure. It is necessary!

It is only three days before Christmas and anticipation of Santa is in the air, the jolly fat guy that brings us gifts of cheer, journeying all over the globe in a twenty-four hour period to make children happy with delight that they are not forgotten and are gifted just because it is Christmas. It is necessary!

Really, Dr. Dilley, the journey of Santa Claus is necessary? I know it is easy to become cynical about the craziness of the perfect Hallmark Christmas. However, we have made it crazy, not Santa Claus. We have not dealt with are neurosis, our perfectionism, our need to be better, nor our competitive nature, such as “My Christmas lights are better than yours.” As Americans, Christmas has become crazy not because of commercialism, but because our neurosis, our unhealed selves have allowed ourselves to be seduced by more and better, not because the 1% is trying to make a bigger profit. We have contributed to this fiasco of “It is Necessary!” It is not the Jolly Fat Man’s fault.

So what now? Relax, get back on track. Take back a little bit of you for Christmas. Step back to the spirit of the Journey. Make a child smile. Make an adult feel appreciated. Make a loved one know that they are important. Take a step into the center and change turn down the throttle on Christmas chaos. It is necessary!

To have help in getting your life back into perspective, becoming centered, and moving forward, then please join me on the Labyrinth workshop January 7, 2012. That is the day after Epiphany. Come and move forward away from the chaos. Go to www.psycotherapyunlimited.com to register for the workshop today.

Labyrinth Mondays: Our Lady of Guadalupe and the Power of Pilgrimage

Our Lady of Guadalupe and the Power of  Pilgrimage


Today December 12 is the celebration of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Who is she? It is said that the story began around December 9, 1531 when a homeless person (peasant) was walking along the hills of Tepeyac near Mexico City. The peasant, Juan Diego, saw a vision of a dark young woman surrounded by light and she told him that a church had to be built on the Tepeyac Hills, right in the very spot she was standing.

When Juan Diego went to the Bishop and reported that a young woman had appeared to him and told him that a church needed to build on the Hills of Tepeyac, the Bishop sent him back to the spot and demanded proof. Juan Diego traveled back to the spot and the dark woman surrounded by light appeared to him again. Diego said, “The Bishop wants proof that you are of a messenger of God.” The woman told him to take roses from the bush on top of the Tepeyac Hills. Juan Diego did not expect that anything would be growing at that time of the year; however, there was a beautiful Castillian Rose bush at the top of the mountain. Castillian roses were not indigenous to that area, but in the middle of desolation, there was the bush. The woman helped Juan Diego, place the pedals in his peasant cloak and Juan Diego returned to the Bishop. There Juan Diego told the Bishop, “The woman in light said to bring you these flowers.” Diego opened his cloak and the petals fell to the ground and in his cloak where the roses had been were the words, Our Lady of Guadalupe. From that day through December 12, 2011, the story of our Lady of Guadalupe and the church that was built at her direction has become a Mecca for pilgrims around the world with many stories of miracles and mysterious blessings from Our Lady of Guadalupe.

The story of Our Lady of Guadalupe is re-enacted and revisited each year by pilgrims making a pilgrimage to sacred places where Our Lady has been seen or her miracles have taken place. Each year millions of pilgrims find their way to the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Tepeyac, near Mexico City. Other pilgrims find other Holy places to make pilgrimage too.

In Los Cruces New Mexico over a 1,000 pilgrims walk early morning, by candle light four miles to the top of Tortugas Mountain and have been doing so since the early eighteen hundreds. In addition, there are hundreds of other stories on the internet about Our Lady of Guadalupe, who is not the patron saint of The Americas. I can fill you full of rich history by sharing the importance of Our Lady, but my focus on Labyrinth Mondays, is about pilgrimage, the journey to the center of the labyrinth and back out again. What is the hunger for pilgrimage, what is the call within that inspires over 6.1 million people to descend on the Basilica in Mexico City or carry on a heritage of tradition of over 1000 in Los Cruces, New Mexico. It seems irrational to spend money, time, energy to go on a real pilgrimage to a place, but rationality is not what spirituality is made of. Rationality would deny that Our Dark Lady spoke to anyone and that perhaps he was hallucinating out of hunger. See, the brain tries hard to make sense out of non-sense. However, for a pilgrimage of 6.1 is hard to deny, to say, “No, this is not happening.” It would ludicrous to deny that the spiritual does not exist, it exist within. You can have the same aliveness as the 6.1 million have that flew, drove, found his/her way to the Our Lady of Guadalupe’s Basilica in Mexico City. You just have to be willing to take one- step outside of your very narrow and dark box. You can start safe by finding a Labyrinth (11 or 7 circuit) near you, drive there start at the beginning. Put one foot in front of the other and say, “Our Lady of Guadalupe, I am here. I come seeking a sense of fulfillment and peace that I hear you can offer me. I want to start my spiritual journey now and let it unfold. Help me, My Lady of Guadalupe. I need you.”

Almost had you considering a spiritual journey until you had to admit that you have a need and regardless of how hard you try, you cannot meet that need without some form of assistance. To begin this journey, you don’t even have to admit that you are hurting or lacking of anything, you can just start by putting on foot in front of the other on path of the Labyrinth and keep your mouth shut. Just do it and see what happens. It is a challenge. I am challenging you to move one-step closer to your spiritual self.

If you do not want to do this alone then join me on Saturday January 7, 2012 at Trinity Cathedral downtown Phoenix. You can sign up today at www.psychotherapyunlimited.com Please, if you have no interest pass on this information to people whose lives are richer because they take a risk to step outside the box.

Labyrinth Monday's -All Cultures Share the Mystery of the Spirit

ANCIENT WISDOM APPEARS IN MANY CULTURES



Spirituality in one form or another has always been with us. The more awake and aware we are, the more we are able to see it. The Burden Basket was part of many Native American’s way of life. A Burden Basket was used to gather sticks for fire, seeds, herbs, and tubers. The basket was worn on the back leaving hands free for gathering of daily needs. When the basket was emptied, it was hung on the outside of the tipi or dwelling and used by visitors to announce their presence at the door. If no one came to the door, no feelings were hurt, as it was understood that the home is a sacred space. Also, the burden basket was symbolic, in that its presence invited guest to leave their personal burdens outside of the tipi and not bring them in to the sacred space of the home. It was considered rude and disrespectful to take your burdens to the neighbor’s house and douse their sacred space with unhappiness and negativity. If a person in the village had a problem, they were to take a gift of tobacco, a blanket, or some other gift to the medicine person in the village, and there share their burden. After sharing, the person had to wait three days for the medicine person to share a solution to the problem. During those three days, the medicine person was seeking guidance in a dream or vision from his/her spiritual guides and allies. Also, during the same three days the burden bearer was building self-reliance, knowing that they needed to responsible to act on the advice given to them by the medicine person. Thus, the village was able to live in peace and inter-confidence that their friends and neighbors could handle their own problems and learn the art of self-reliance. If we go back to original use of the burden basket, which was to collect enough of the necessities just for today, then we realize part of the solution to life is to stay in the present and focus on the here and now moment.


In reflection, I see the Labyrinth as a symbol of the burden basket. It is rich in symbolism of the self-reliance. The person entering the Labyrinth, often referred to as “pilgrim” is doing the work of walking. The pilgrim is responsible for taking the journey to the center of the Labyrinth. As a burden bearer, the pilgrim take his/her burden into the center of the Labyrinth and there lets it go, releases the burden to the womb or heart of the universe. The pilgrim needs to have a grateful heart when entering the mystery of womb, knowing that it is a sacred place that he/she can come any time of day or night and find that center of the Labyrinth is there to receive him/her and the burden on his/her heart. The joining of the two, the pilgrim and the heart of the universe is completely sacred and confidential between the two. No one else is invited into that sacred space.


By taking the journey to the center of the Labyrinth, the pilgrim is initiating responsibility for his/her burden and taking the first steps to release the burden to the care of the mysterious other that will take that burden and share wisdom, understanding, and clarity with the pilgrim. It is then up to the pilgrim to follow the direction that comes from the Center. Perhaps direction and wisdom will not come during the walk (as it often does not) but several days later, clarity and peace begin to settle in the soul of the pilgrim. It is hard to explain the mysterious; one has to experience it to become a “knower of mysteries.”

CYBER MONDAY... Novvember 28th. Last Day for Early Bird Registration

EXPERIENCE THE LABYRINTH



AS A TOOL FOR SELF-EXLORATION OF BODY, MIND, SPIRIT


Saturday January 7, 2012


9:00 a.m.-12:00 p.m.


Trinity Cathedral 100 W. Roosevelt Phoenix, AZ.


Cost: $50.00 if registered by November 28, 2011


The characters in the Wizard of Oz, the Scarecrow, the Lion, and the Tin Man will be our guides for the day. What makes us feel afraid, stupid, and un-loveable?


The labyrinth is a powerful tool for healing in so many ways. Its rich history and bountiful symbolism brings to us so many opportunities to present our self for healing. It allows us to come as we are with whatever hurts and seek comfort and care from the center of its being.


This Saturday morning we will be exploring the symbolism of the labyrinth and using tools of self-discovery such as journaling, music, and art to explore our inner most need. During our time together, you will have an opportunity to present that need to the mystery of the Labyrinth and come away with a renewed sense of hope.


To learn more about the labyrinth and why it is such an important tool for your personal and spiritual growth please follow my blog at www.drdilley.blogspot.com


To register go to www.psychotherapyunlimited.com and click on workshops. Follow the prompts. Or email drdilley@psychotherapyunlimited.com or Call Dr. Dilley at 602-564-1919 for more information.

My Breast Cancer Journey and the Labyrinth

With October being breast cancer awareness month,  I personally did alot of reflecting on my journey as a survivor.  In honor of that journey and my spiritual relationship with the Labyrinth I have decided to share the entire chapter about my Labyrinth relationship on Labyrinth Mondays.  Here is that Chapter.  To read more about my journey you can purchase my book at http://www.amazon.com/ or directly from me at http://www.psychotherapyunlimited.com/. 

OTHER SPIRITUAL PIECES:

THE LABYRINTH

My life has always been a mixed tapestry of spirituality. Spirituality is a part of who I am and not something that I do. I deeply believe that we are spiritual beings and it is our job to attend to our spiritual garden. The spiritual garden is within each of us and we can let it grow weeds, let it dry up and die, or we can gently tend to it throughout all of the days of our lives. When we face a storm our garden can become overwhelmed with waves and wind damage and we must use our resources to repair it and re-establish it. When there is a drought, we must carry water to our spiritual garden. In the next few chapters, I want to share some of the spiritual practices that I used during and after my journey with breast cancer. It was natural for me to turn to my spiritual resources during this time. The Labyrinth, the Healing Power of a Native Sweat, and a Vision Quest are three key components of my journey.
During the Nineties, the spiritual significance of the labyrinth began pouring into print. It seemed that everywhere I turned someone was writing or talking about his or her experience of God as he or she walked the labyrinth. I began to read about this spiritual practice and discovered its ancient history. A labyrinth is not a maze. In the English language, the words “labyrinth” and “maze” are often used interchangeably. A maze contains dead ends and often has many entrances. A labyrinth has one entrance and one exit. It is a path from the outside in and then from the inside out. It has a sacred sense of journey about it; perhaps the eleven-circuit labyrinth began as a spiritual practice for those who could not make the annual pilgrimage to Jerusalem. No one really knows the reason labyrinths were created but there are eleven-circuit and seven-circuit labyrinths. Seven-circuit labyrinths date back four to five thousand years and are seen in Hopi, Cretan, and Celtic spiritual practices. The most famous eleven-circuit labyrinth is in Chartres Cathedral in Chartres, France, and dates back to the twelfth century. The number of circuits simply means the number of times the pilgrim passes the center of the labyrinth during his or her walk.

My interest in the labyrinth grew. I responded to that interest by making a special pilgrimage to San Francisco to walk the labyrinth at Grace Cathedral. There, I, too, experienced a peaceful sense of purpose. I felt a sense of holiness about the journey in and out and around the path that brings us into the center of God, and back out to the world again. Grace Cathedral has an indoor and an outdoor eleven-circuit labyrinth. The indoor one provides the pilgrim with quite an intense experience because sacred music is playing during the labyrinth walk. It was easy for me as I walked it to become lost in the music, feeling as if I was transcending consciousness. The outdoor labyrinth overlooked the busy San Francisco streets. Walking it created a sense of purpose, with a special connection to the world. The two labyrinths provided me with an experience and a picture of God inside of me and outside of me at the same time.

When I left San Francisco, I wanted desperately to have a local labyrinth. I felt a strange loneliness for it. I felt connected, sort of called to it as a way of worship. There was something about this walking meditation that provided me with an experience of God that fed my hungry soul. That journey to San Francisco was in 1997.

In 1998 our Episcopal Cathedral, Trinity, was under reconstruction. Trinity is a local historical landmark for Phoenix as well as the headquarters for the Episcopal bishop and church administration. The Dean of the cathedral at the time, Rev. Rebecca McClain, was in charge of the reconstruction. Lo and behold, she was having a beautiful eleven-circuit labyrinth built in the center of the courtyard. I felt like God had answered my prayers. I was ecstatic about the plans. I couldn’t wait for it to be finished. Trinity finished the labyrinth in December 2000. One of my New Year’s resolutions of 2001 was to walk the labyrinth once a week for the entire year.

I walked it every Wednesday. If I was out of town for some reason, I made arrangements to walk it at some other time. The experience of that commitment created a sacred space inside of me and I developed a personal relationship with this sacred art form that allowed me to be touched and touch God in unique ways. I was very aware during my labyrinth walks of the gift of life. It seemed that each week my gratitude for my life and my recovery became deeper. I was aware on these walks with God that my life was meaningful and that I needed to be awake to all God had in store for me. During this time my gratitude for being alive grew.

I definitely have an attention problem that becomes a bother in times of prayer, but the motion of walking, following a path, and making a pilgrimage to the center where all is well and perfect is a powerful and unifying experience. I used this time with God to refocus my life, to pull close to the spiritual world, recommitting to a life of meaningful experience with God. I not only re-dedicated my life to one of service and ministry but also used the time to refocus on the art of prayer and watched as my prayer life transformed from a dead stick in the ground to a beautiful lush green plant.

The story of the dead stick is significant because when I was a student of spiritual direction during my master’s program, I had a director who told me to plant a stick in the ground and to water and care for it as if it were alive. Of course, I thought this was a silly exercise, but part of being a student of spiritual direction is learning to follow direction. I learned so much from this exercise that it still empowers my consciousness in my psychotherapy practice. For example, many times I think to myself, we are not getting anywhere in therapy. Nothing is ever going to change in this person’s life; it is just the same old thing. In my discouragement it would be easy to give up, but I remember the exercise of watering the stick. This mutually powerful and silly exercise taught me to stay with a project even though it seems fruitless.

The stick did not change, but I did. I learned just how much water the earth was able to absorb in order for the stick not to get too wet and rot. I also had to learn just how much water was sufficient to keep the ground closed around the stick in order that it remained erect. I practiced caring for it daily while acknowledging that I got nothing back in return. I had to live through my own embarrassment about the craziness of watering a stick, thinking horribly judgmental thoughts at times. Sometimes, those judgmental thoughts were directed at me and my stupidity for participating in such a ridiculous exercise and at other times those criticisms were directed at my spiritual director.

In my head, I accused her of being mean and manipulative. Walking the labyrinth on a weekly basis sometimes was like watering the stick. Sometimes I felt silly, as if I were going nowhere. At other times, it was a soul-ripping experience that shook me to my core. I was able to unravel complexities in my life during that time. I was able to pick up pieces of my life that I had laid aside, such as my writing. I was able to focus again on the alpha and omega of God. At the same time that I started my relationship with the labyrinth, I also started a professional relationship with a teacher and healer.

Walking the Labyrinth Helps Quiet the Busy Mind

I hope labyrinth Mondays have begun to tweak your interest in the experience of the labyrinth. We live such stressful lives full of demands, deadlines, and responsibilities. As a result, even the word spirituality becomes something we do or fit into our schedules, rather than something we are. Being a spiritual person is the essence of which we are and how we carve that out for ourselves is up to us and our proclivities toward different spiritual paths. Diversity is the spice of life and I do not believe there is a one spirituality that fits all. We are all different. We have different likes and dislikes, different taste in food, music, culture, and enjoy different places to visit more so than other tourist destination. We also find that we enjoy some spiritual practices more so than other spiritual practices. For instance, if you are and adult that struggles with attention deficit disorder, contemplative prayer is not going to work very well for you. Matter of fact, if you have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity or Attention Deficit Disorder, ADD) and try contemplative prayer or meditation it is possible that you will feel like a failure because it is next to impossible for you to focus or you will end up hating it and throw out all prayer as a result. The labyrinth is a perfect prayer tool for people with ADD or ADHD because the labyrinth gives you something to do while praying. It allows you to walk, to follow a simple path into the center and the same simple path out again. Because the path crosses back and forth and you have to focus on where you are walking it becomes easy for those with ADD, ADHD, high anxiety and stress to relax and let go of their brain’s demands and chatter. If the walker does not let go it is possible to misstep and lose one’s orientation and not be sure if you are coming or going which is a great metaphor for life. The nice part about using the labyrinth as a walking meditation is that the labyrinth is very forgiving. If the walker feels too disorientated, he or she can just exit and start all over again.


The ability to exit and start over again is a very graceful gift that we do not give ourselves permission to do very often in our daily life. Often we are taught once we start something we must finish it, not matter what. As a result, as we age we start less and less because we don’t want to waste our time doing something in case we don’t like it. I find it strange how we box ourselves in like that. It would be more gracious, if we gave our self permission to quit something that we don’t like or that makes us feel lost or overwhelmed. The labyrinth is always gracious, always forgiving, and always permission giving. It invites you to bring YOU just as you are to the center and experience the path as YOU experience it without expectations, demands, or formulas.