Sunday, March 23, 2014



COMPASSION is a practice.  It is a practice, because it does not always come easy.  It is not usually the first thing you feel when someone has hurt you, whether intentionally or not.  When we are hurt we experience shame, which is the interruption of a positive connection or experience.  It is typical when people experience shame they respond to it in one of four ways:
1.) Attacking other …you are dumb.  
2.) Attacking self…I am dumb.
3.) Withdrawal…I don’t want to deal with this.
4.) Avoid…think I will have another drink or donut.

Our normal and natural response to hurt is shame and our reaction to shame.  To practice compassion means to back up from the immediate knee jerk reaction and ask yourself, “What is going on with this other person?”  If the hurt was unintentional, take the time to dialogue with them as to how you experienced their painful remark so that you can re-establish connection and compassion.  If the hurt was intentional, then figure out why through dialogue.  If you reach the conclusion that this person is just not good for you then let them go from your life.  Do not keep people around that are going to cause you pain and emotional suffering. That is not self-compassionate to you. In Buddhism, practice self-compassion first.  Plus, keeping someone around who is hurtful is not compassionate to them either because resentment and anger just keep brewing within.  Who are the hardest people for you to practice COMPASSION?  

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