YOUR LIFE A-Z: FORGIVE

NATURE IS A SAFE HEALING SPACE

FORGIVE-FORGIVENESS

The words FORGIVE and Forgiveness are complicated and often misunderstood.  Yesterday, The Twenty Minute Coach spoke about Expiate, making right our wrongs by doing some action that costs us energy, resources, and humility.  FORGIVENESS is a more complicated process.  A victim who has been harmed by someone else’s actions FORGIVES by intentionally and voluntarily letting go of vengeful and angry feelings toward the perpetrator.  This is a process of multiple actions and work.  If one FORGIVES before they work through the feelings of hurt, betrayal and anger then FORGIVENESS is an empty action.  To truly FORGIVE is work and does not come easy.  Being hurt is a part of life.  We have a choice to harbor our hurts and become bitter, hostile, and angry old people or we can choose to FORGIVE.  Many times the lack of being able to FORGIVE does not hurt those who victimized us but hurts us instead.  If you notice you have become hateful and bitter, do an inventory of the people and hurts that have built up inside of you.  They are like prisoners and you must release them in order for you to be free.  Emotional freedom is such an exhilarating feeling of personal accomplishment and leaves you with a sense of contentment.  A simple way to start is to write journal letters to those on your list above.  Start there and notice how your heart begins to change over the next few weeks as you choose to FORGIVE those you hold responsible for your pain.  You can’t change what happened, only how you cope with it. 

YOUR LIFE A-Z:COMPASSION

ALL THAT MATTERS IS THIS MOMENT OF PRACTICE

COMPASSION

COMPASSION is a practice.  It is a practice, because it does not always come easy.  It is not usually the first thing you feel when someone has hurt you, whether intentionally or not.  When we are hurt we experience shame, which is the interruption of a positive connection or experience.  It is typical when people experience shame they respond to it in one of four ways:

1.) Attacking other …you are dumb.  

2.) Attacking self…I am dumb.

3.) Withdrawal…I don’t want to deal with this.

4.) Avoid…think I will have another drink or donut.

Our normal and natural response to hurt is shame and our reaction to shame.  To practice compassion means to back up from the immediate knee jerk reaction and ask yourself, “What is going on with this other person?”  If the hurt was unintentional, take the time to dialogue with them as to how you experienced their painful remark so that you can re-establish connection and compassion.  If the hurt was intentional, then figure out why through dialogue.  If you reach the conclusion that this person is just not good for you then let them go from your life.  Do not keep people around that are going to cause you pain and emotional suffering. That is not self-compassionate to you. In Buddhism, practice self-compassion first.  Plus, keeping someone around who is hurtful is not compassionate to them either because resentment and anger just keep brewing within.  Who are the hardest people for you to practice COMPASSION?  

YOUR LIFE A-Z:INTENTION

INTENTION

RITUALS HELP US FOCUS ON OUR INTENTIONSINTENTION

Intention is a word used often, especially after the book and movie, The Secret.  Intention is a powerful word but it is a word that also requires your buy-in. You have to really want it.  You have to be hungry for it, maybe even starving for it.  

Basketball is a game but the winners are those who want it more than the other team.  One game loss becomes a platform to get better, not a place to give up because you lost a game.  Intention requires energy, action, focus, and developing a taste for success.  It requires practice everyday at your intention.  It requires more than a vision board.  It requires action.  Meditation, visualization, imagery are all actions that bring our intentions to home plate.  Often meditation or prayer feels as if we are doing nothing, but in each of those actions we must invest our heart.  

Prayer is about relationship with “OTHER” and meditation is an action in “BEING.”  They go hand in hand for me.  Showing up to have tea with the Divine is a way of buying in to our INTENTION.  Showing up nurtures, feeds, enhances, tweaks, and sheds light on what our part needs for INTENTION to materialize.  Our INTENTION becomes real by us giving it legs, arms, lungs, and heart.  Our INTENTION takes us to where we want to go often effortlessly; as if it grows wings and flies into our life.  Breathe life into your INTENTION and dance with it.