Sunday, August 6, 2017

Anxiety, under diagnosed and oftentimes over-treated by “big pharma,” will never change or get better without your personal involvement. The more energy you put into a situation the more personal satisfaction you get out of your effort. To support your energy and effort, I have created a safe and encouraging blog area to help you move forward in your life.
Rather than have a drink, toke, or a snort, to try to wipe away this ruminating anxiety by adding tools to the toolbox. Although it feels as if it is eating you alive, there are healthier ways to manage your anxiety, such as journaling. Writing Your Way to Healing and Wholeness is a guided journal, I will cover effective journaling in these first few blogs to enhance this form of art as meaningful outlet for you. Like many art forms, journaling is always an evolving process and each day either you have a new canvas to start or you are adding detail, texture, and context to what you wrote yesterday.
Not all art forms are the same; therefore, not all artists are the same. Some like working with clay and others with watercolor, while some don’t care for oils, others delve deep into the richness of color. Writing is the same way for people. For some, it would be boring just to record your daily life. However, recording your daily life may make you aware of how boring life has become for you! Thus, journaling as an “art” gets your creative juices going by supplementing your life and bringing life into the objects around you. For instance, anxiety that just won’t shut up becomes quiet, goes away, or stops for microseconds. The art of writing opens a new window of opportunity to do something different with anxiety by learning to externalize the anxiety, rather than be anxiety’s hostage.
To start externalizing your anxiety, set your timer for two minutes and close your eyes, imagine your anxiety and let it take form. What does the anxiety look like? How big? How small? What is its texture? Does it have an odor? What color or colors is it?
Once you have a clearly defined your anxiety, open your eyes, set your timer for three more minutes and write down the image of your anxiety. Take your time and really use your pen as a paintbrush and describe fully your anxiety. Take a deep breath and ask the anxiety, “What message do you have for me?” Write down what anxiety says. Notice how that message makes you feel inside of your body. Where do you feel it in your body and how would you like body to respond differently next time? Given the information from your body, write for three continuous minutes by responding to anxiety’s message to you. Continue back and forth in this dialogue. You may find the timer helpful or you may be ready to let the timer go and just keep dialoguing.
Timers are helpful tools when coping with concern or worry because anxiety enjoys being an intimidator. Anxiety enjoys its own chatter. It is constantly saying things like, “you are taking too much time,” “that was a stupid message,” and “this stupid exercise is getting your nowhere.” If you are writing while using a timer then you just keep focusing and moving on. A good analogy for me is physical therapy. While doing rehab for my knee replacement, the PT handed me a timer, I learned to hold a position for thirty seconds, one minute, and so on. The timer became my friend because when it went off I could let go. Similarly, the timer is a helpful friend while doing journal exercises.
Think about journaling as a therapy that helps you live a productive and engaged lifestyle with your friends, family, and yourself. Think about coming to your journal daily for as little as six-to- ten minutes. Then every other day add a minute. Eventually, you are doing ten to twenty-minute writing exercises every other day. That is enough if you want it to be. Some of you may write hours but that is not the usual experience of journaling folks. Six through twenty minutes is enough for personal growth and reflection. As in anything, consistency is the key.
Once a week spend a few minutes re-reading what you wrote. What was your focus? Where are you stuck? Where are you making progress? Where do you want you to focus this coming next week?
You don’t need to spend every exercise working with your anxiety, but if anxiety is a big issue for you dedicate at least one day a week externalizing it and dialoguing with the anxiety.  My new book allows you to discover many exercises.  Click on the link below to get your copy today.  

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Developing Your Resources as A Cancer Survivor




It is Breast Cancer awareness month and In A MOMENT'S NOTICE Facebook Page was birthed as a result of my own journey with breast cancer.  I will sharing informative post throughout the month and ask that you past them on to your families and friends on FaceBook so that they too like my page and enjoy the information.  My first posting is a repost of a series that I wrote for Breast Cancer Yoga two months ago.

Breast Cancer Mini Series With Dr. Dilley (Part 1 of 4)


Robin Dilley Grow Your Own HandsGrowing Your Own Hands – Part One

How To Develop A Support System For Breast Cancer

This is the first in a series of four on Growing Your Own Hands after the diagnosis of Breast Cancer.  You can find a version of this story at http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/grimm031.htm
One of my favorite stories to use as a psychologist is the story of the Miller’s Daughter.  This story resonates in so many ways with those facing breast cancer and other life threatening situations.   This story echoes the many multilayers of emotion throughout the journey with breast cancer, especially that emotion where it is normal to feel as if our bodies betrayed us.  The story is an old Grimm’s fairy tale and it goes like this:  A miller came upon hard times. He was approached in the forest by a strange character and was told, “If you give me what is behind the mill right this moment, I will make you a rich man.”
The miller thought to himself, “There is nothing behind the mill except an old apple tree”, so the Miller agreed.  But, to his surprise, it was his daughter that was behind the mill.
So, when the time came, a struggle ensued between the strange character and the miller’s daughter.  The daughter used spiritual symbols of that era to protect herself.   She drew a circle around herself and the strange character could not pass through the boundary of the circle to acquire his prized possession.  Finally, the strange character said to the miller, “Look I am going to take back all of your riches that I have given you unless you cut off your daughter’s hands.”  The miller, being a selfish man, did just that.
The miller then turns to his daughter and says,  “With my riches, I will build you a castle and take care of you in every lavish way.”
The daughter responded,  “No thank you.  I will go out into the world and trust the goodness of others.”  And so her mother bound her daughter’s handless arms and she left her father’s house for a journey she chose after a traumatic even happened to her.  Life as she knew it had came to an end.
Over the next seven years, the daughter grew her own hands.  When facing all of the struggles of treatment, fears of death, and the constant roller-coaster of emotions that sometimes drown us, there is still that place deep down inside of us that we can access and move forward to write the next chapters of our lives.  And by doing so, we grow our own hands again in ways that we never have could imagined.
Once we receive the diagnosis with breast cancer, our emotions go into shock and we are faced with very important life-changing choices.  It is important at this time to rely on the goodness of others and build a support system.  Ideally, one of those people should be a “research director” who can take the information from the pathology report that gives you the map the oncologist and radiologist will be using to offer you the best treatment options available to you at this time.

Your path report will tell you what type of breast cancer, what stage, what grade, etc.  Each one of those foreign words can be researched online to help you better understand what you are facing.  By having a good research director on board, s/he can forward you information worth looking at and discard the hundreds of articles that you do not need to know at this time.

From there, create a list of questions for your oncologist and radiologist.  There are no stupid questions.  And in the emotional turmoil that you are in, you may need to ask the same question over and over until you understand the ramifications of what you are about to go through.  It is important to feel that you have choices and that you are a vital part of your own treatment team.  There are many oncologists out there, so give yourself permission to shop around if you don’t like the responses you are getting from yours.  You may not be able to control the fact that you now have breast cancer, but you can make lots of decisions along the way.     Blogger: Robin B. Dilley PhD

Monday, July 6, 2015

Virtual Summer Boot Camp



VIRTUAL SUMMER BOOT CAMP
Individualized program to help you get started on whatever it is you want to change. 
Start Date: By Appointment (30minutes-by phone of VSEE).
Includes 30 Minute Goal Defining Process Session
 6-20 Minute Focus Sessions
What better time to start than NOW!!! Fourth of July is Over the Next Holiday is not until     September 7th.  Seems to me it will give you something to look forward to and propel you toward your new goals and  personal change.   Here is a list of things to think about focusing on and try to get out of your box.
Who are some people that might benefit from a twenty-minute coach?
SPIRITUALITY:  Questions, spiritual issues, looking for help with a spiritual practice
HEALTH: Want to explore life-style and health changes
PERSONAL GROWTH: Looking for ways to use your voice and be visible to yourself and others.
PERSONAL STORY:  Look closely at you life’s story and relationships and move toward writing a new story. 
Parents:  who need immediate processing about what to do with a situation with their child.
Employees: Trouble-shooting relationships at work or deciding to move on or not
Bosses: Trouble-shooting work situations
People in life transitions:  Divorce, grief, job loss, career decisions, and life transitions of any kind. 
Anyone who is feeling a need for help, insight, direction, and/or to get out of old patterns and are serious about to moving forward  in his/her life.

If you are interested in using this innovative idea to help you get out of your box and get-started then email me at drrobinbdilley@gmail.com today.  All sessions must be used by September 7, 2015.  Introductory Price $350.00.  Ask about Premier Package for $500.00. 



Monday, June 15, 2015

Spirituality

 
SPIRITUALITY 
Fire burning within your soul, not because you it keeps you warm but because it brings you great joy to connect with the "Other."  Spirituality cannot be defined by others it has to be defined by you from deep within you being.  But you may notice as soon as you define it, it begins to evade you. The evasion of Spirituality is like trying to catch air in a bottle.  You can't see the air.  You can't drink the air.  You can't touch the air and if you pour water into the bottle then there is no space left for air to be.  Air is absolutely necessary for the survival of earthlings but it is not easy to capture or define.  Spirituality is absolutely necessary for earthlings but it will not be defined or contained nor restrained by our English language.  Spirituality is about experience.  Spirituality is about connection.  Spirituality is about other. Spirituality is about emotion.  Spirituality is about_____________________.  Yes, you can finish the sentence.  Spirituality is mystical, mystery and ordinary.  When you give a street musician a dollar for playing his/her banjo or when you give the waiter/waitress a tip you are practicing Spirituality. You are connecting with other in a meaningful way, making another earthling’s lives better.  Be the fire that turns many shades of color throughout your day.  Make someone else smile because you took a moment to make a difference.  As the Dali Lama say’s “My religion is kindness.”  It is connecting with your own inner fire that makes Spirituality the fire (action) a religion.  Sharing what is within and the sharing of your resources makes Spirituality come to life.  


Saturday, January 10, 2015

YOUR LIFE A-Z: MULTI-TASK

MULTI-TASK IN A HEALTHY ENVIRONMENT

MULTI-TASK


There is no better time that now to become proficient in the art of MULTI-TASKING.   To MULTI-TASK is to live in optimal organization in order to squeeze the zest out of life.  As you make your to-do list, (and you are doing that now aren’t you?) think in terms of organizing your list in ways that you can accomplish several things.  What gets done while you are doing laundry?  What three activities can you sweep together into one?  For instance, when doing your taxes it a good time to do a budget review and tweak the budget for next year, making sure there are plenty of dollars saved for that vacation.  In the United States we over-work and under-play.  It is time to reverse that but in order to make a dent in the amount of time and energy we waste each day, it is important to MULTI-TASK.  Organize your day, your week, your month and your year with key MULTI-TASKING actions that keep you moving forward and saving valuable time for playing while MULTI-TASKING your chores.  Think about adding music to the background of your chores to enhance your mood.  Add some humor and laughter into the mix of daily activity to boost your morale.  MULTI-TASKING does not have to be all about hard work, it can be about play too.  If play and laughter are not on your to-do list, it is likely that it won’t happen.  You must plan for it just like you plan for dinner.  It is the balance of MULTI-TASKING that fills your day with positive opportunities.

Friday, December 26, 2014

YOUR LIFE A-Z: KWANZAA

The Holiday Season Continues.  Joyous KWANZAA

KWANZAA

JOYOUS KWANZAA IS THE PROPER GREETING FOR TODAY.  YES, KWANZAA IS A FAIRLY NEW HOLIDAY MAKING ITS WAY INTO THE MAINSTREAM OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON, BEGINNING DECEMBER 26 AND ENDING ON NEW YEAR’S DAY.  IT ORIGINATED IN 1966 BY DR. MAULANA KARENGA TO CELEBRATE THE AFRICAN FAMILY, COMMUNITY, AND CULTURE.  THE WORD KWANZAA MEANS, “FIRST FRUITS” IN SWAHILI.  SWAHILI IS THE WIDEST SPOKEN AFRICAN LANGUAGE AND RECOGNIZED THROUGH ALL OF AFRICAN DIASPORA.  KWANZAA CELEBRATES THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES OVER ITS SEVEN DAYS.  THOSE PRINCIPLES ARE: UNITY, SELF-DETERMINATION, COLLECTIVE WORK AND RESPONSIBILITY, COOPERATIVE ECONOMICS, PURPOSE, CREATIVITY, AND FAITH.  THE KINARA, WHICH IS A SEVEN CANDLE CANDLESTICK, REPRESENTS EACH ONE OF THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES.  THE BLACK CANDLE IS LIT FIRST REPRESENTING UNITY AND THE OTHER SIX PRINCIPLES BALANCE THE HEART OF THIS HOLIDAY OF SOLIDARITY AND COMMUNITY.  KWANZAA WAS BORN DURING THE HEAT OF THE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT AS A WAY OF OFFERING A STABILIZED IDENTITY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ANGER AND HATE OF RACISM.  HERE WE ARE FORTY -EIGHT YEARS LATER AND OUR NEWSCAST ARE FULL OF VIOLENCE AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE. LET’S PULL TOGETHER THIS KWANZAA TO STAND TOGETHER WITH OUR AFRICAN BROTHERS AND SISTERS AS THE STRIVE TO FIND FAITH AND HOPE IN A COUNTRY THAT IS OFTEN HOSTILE AND HATE FILLED TOWARD THEM.  WE ARE IN DEEP NEED OF PEACE WITHIN OUR OWN COUNTRY THIS YEAR AND I FEEL IT IS FOOLISH TO FOCUS OUTSIDE OF OUR OWN BORDERS UNTIL WE HAVE PEACE WITHIN.  WATCH THIS THREE-MINUTE VIDEO AS AN ACT OF SOLIDARITY TODAY: HTTP://WWW.HISTORY.COM/TOPICS/HOLIDAYS/KWANZAA-HISTORY

Thursday, December 25, 2014

YOUR LIFE A-Z: ZESTFUL

ZESTFUL

ZESTFUL means having a spirited love of life.  Isn’t it awesome that our advent list ends with this powerful word for this CHRISTMAS day? (If you are wondering how we went through 26 letters in 25 days, it is because Advent began on November 30, which made a perfect ending to this A-Z for the holiday.) Today, have a ZESTFUL day.  From the early morning hours of opening presents to the late Christmas dinners celebrate each other.  Be spirited about connecting with those around you and add ZEST to each encounter, making someone else’s Christmas experience brighter.  If you are alone today, this is your opportunity to practice ZESTFULNESS to others.  Get over yourself and get out.  Take water to the homeless or go to a movie and be ZESTFUL with gratitude that you can get out and enjoy your Christmas day.  If you are homebound then call someone and wish him/her a Merry Christmas.  Today is not a day to sit around and feel sorry for your situation.  Today is a day to bring ZEST and to be ZESTFUL.   Use today to make a positive difference in the life of each person you come in contact with.  Practice having a spirited love of life and let your ZESTFULNESS become contagious.  You do make a difference in the lives of all of those around you and you get to choose whether that difference is positive or negative.  Seems like practicing ZESTFUL interactions will make your Christmas day more meaningful.  So with that I wish you a ZESTFUL day of spirited living.  Merry Christmas.