Showing posts with label Hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hope. Show all posts

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Anxiety, under diagnosed and oftentimes over-treated by “big pharma,” will never change or get better without your personal involvement. The more energy you put into a situation the more personal satisfaction you get out of your effort. To support your energy and effort, I have created a safe and encouraging blog area to help you move forward in your life.
Rather than have a drink, toke, or a snort, to try to wipe away this ruminating anxiety by adding tools to the toolbox. Although it feels as if it is eating you alive, there are healthier ways to manage your anxiety, such as journaling. Writing Your Way to Healing and Wholeness is a guided journal, I will cover effective journaling in these first few blogs to enhance this form of art as meaningful outlet for you. Like many art forms, journaling is always an evolving process and each day either you have a new canvas to start or you are adding detail, texture, and context to what you wrote yesterday.
Not all art forms are the same; therefore, not all artists are the same. Some like working with clay and others with watercolor, while some don’t care for oils, others delve deep into the richness of color. Writing is the same way for people. For some, it would be boring just to record your daily life. However, recording your daily life may make you aware of how boring life has become for you! Thus, journaling as an “art” gets your creative juices going by supplementing your life and bringing life into the objects around you. For instance, anxiety that just won’t shut up becomes quiet, goes away, or stops for microseconds. The art of writing opens a new window of opportunity to do something different with anxiety by learning to externalize the anxiety, rather than be anxiety’s hostage.
To start externalizing your anxiety, set your timer for two minutes and close your eyes, imagine your anxiety and let it take form. What does the anxiety look like? How big? How small? What is its texture? Does it have an odor? What color or colors is it?
Once you have a clearly defined your anxiety, open your eyes, set your timer for three more minutes and write down the image of your anxiety. Take your time and really use your pen as a paintbrush and describe fully your anxiety. Take a deep breath and ask the anxiety, “What message do you have for me?” Write down what anxiety says. Notice how that message makes you feel inside of your body. Where do you feel it in your body and how would you like body to respond differently next time? Given the information from your body, write for three continuous minutes by responding to anxiety’s message to you. Continue back and forth in this dialogue. You may find the timer helpful or you may be ready to let the timer go and just keep dialoguing.
Timers are helpful tools when coping with concern or worry because anxiety enjoys being an intimidator. Anxiety enjoys its own chatter. It is constantly saying things like, “you are taking too much time,” “that was a stupid message,” and “this stupid exercise is getting your nowhere.” If you are writing while using a timer then you just keep focusing and moving on. A good analogy for me is physical therapy. While doing rehab for my knee replacement, the PT handed me a timer, I learned to hold a position for thirty seconds, one minute, and so on. The timer became my friend because when it went off I could let go. Similarly, the timer is a helpful friend while doing journal exercises.
Think about journaling as a therapy that helps you live a productive and engaged lifestyle with your friends, family, and yourself. Think about coming to your journal daily for as little as six-to- ten minutes. Then every other day add a minute. Eventually, you are doing ten to twenty-minute writing exercises every other day. That is enough if you want it to be. Some of you may write hours but that is not the usual experience of journaling folks. Six through twenty minutes is enough for personal growth and reflection. As in anything, consistency is the key.
Once a week spend a few minutes re-reading what you wrote. What was your focus? Where are you stuck? Where are you making progress? Where do you want you to focus this coming next week?
You don’t need to spend every exercise working with your anxiety, but if anxiety is a big issue for you dedicate at least one day a week externalizing it and dialoguing with the anxiety.  My new book allows you to discover many exercises.  Click on the link below to get your copy today.  

Sunday, December 7, 2014

YOUR LIFE A-Z:HOPE


HOPE SHOWS UP IN THE DESERT

HOPE

Certainly at this time of the year HOPE is an important word.  Traditional Christian and Jewish stories speak of HOPE ranging from the miraculous conception of the   Christ child to the Jewish Hanukkah story of the one day supply of holy oil miraculous turning into the necessary eight day supply needed.  The word HOPE seems to align itself with the word miracle.  HOPE springs eternal especially when the chips are down and every resource has been explored.  It is fine line walking the balance of HOPE and despair.  Despair is never helpful or useful and HOPE helps you stay away from the brink of despair when life is looking fairly bleak. Taking positive action one-step at a time helps build HOPE from the inside out. HOPE activates action and action activates HOPE.  You have nothing to lose by investing in HOPE.  Even if things don’t work out the way you want them to, HOPE helps your mood and keeps despair at bay. HOPE can be practiced and increased when you build positive resources around you. 

·                Reading other people’s stories that are going through what you are going through can fertilize        HOPE.  
·             Watching biographical movies that tell stories of struggle and success can increase you HOPE         thermometer.
·               Going for a walk in nature can uplift your mood and help return HOPE.
·             I also recommend reading: The ANATOMY OF HOPE by Jerome Groopman MD.


This time of year is filled with mystery, magic, lights and music.  Let it saturate your soul and fill your heart with HOPE.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

YOUR LIFE A-Z:GENEROUSITY


PRACTICE GENEROSITY

GENEROSITY

The holiday season can if we are open to sharing, open our hearts to GENEROSITY.  It is a time when food banks, angel trees, and charities are appealing to you to open your wallets in the spirit of the holiday.  This year allow yourself to be a little more GENEROUS than in years past.  Allow your heart to filled with GENEROSITY and open your wallet to gift to those less fortunate than you.  You never know when it might be you whose life takes a downward turn and find yourself in need.  However, don’t be GENEROUS out of fear, be GENEROUS out of a heart of gratitude.  There is always more than enough and plenty to go around.  Ever notice that the stingier you are the more restrictive your life becomes?  On the other hand, the more you give the more that is available in abundance to give.  GENEROSITY is shared out of freedom. Scrooge exists out of fear and bitterness.  If you are afraid to let go of your purse strings then this is a perfect time to test the paradox of GENEROSITY.   Set aside a percentage of your holiday budget (you do have one don’t you?) and give that percentage to those in need during this holiday season.  You may discover that by the beginning of the New Year you feel more wealthy and enriched than you have noticed in years before.  GENEROSITY it magical in that it gives back by elevating your mood, makes you feel happy and productive.  Practice GENEROSITY this holiday and watch it multiply.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

YOUR LIFE A-Z:EXQUISITE

EXQUISITE SUNSET

EXQUISITE

EXQUISITE is a word that defines something beautiful beyond the ordinary.  To have EXQUISITE taste speaks to your ability to discern what is quality and refined over ordinary and normal.  I dropped by a cancer treatment center recently and found the grounds, the water feature, the art and the ambiance to be EXQUISITE.  This setting took one out of the ordinary treatment center of all the same reception room chairs, terrible TV, ugly paint, and old magazines to a whole new level of EXQUISITE.   Everything about this place spoke to an ambiance of care, nurture, and hope.  Given this example, I invite you to take a walk through your home and choose a room or a space in a room and give yourself permission to make this space EXQUISITE.   Make this ordinary or perhaps even dingy space into one that transforms the energy into an EXQUISITE space of nurturance and hope.  Make it into a space that dazzles your senses, allows you to take a deep breath and smile when you walk into the space, by choosing paint, light, art, and design that makes this space into a space you want to be in.  If this is too much of a project for you, then take a trip through a wonderful recipe book and prepare an EXQUISITE dinner that is served with all of the ambiance of color, light, and EXQUISITE table settings.  You deserve to brighten your surroundings from the ordinary to the EXQUISITE.  Guaranteed to boost your mood. 

Monday, September 1, 2014

YOUR LIFE A-Z:XENODOCY


GIFTS OF HOSPITALITY AND COMPASSION
XENODOCHY
As the Twenty Minute Coach has said, “X” words are complicated and practical ones are hard to find, but XENODOCHY is a very useful word for each of us to practice. XENODOCHY means hospitality.   It is easy to forget that we are a community on this planet and that we need each other.  Little things like offering a homeless person a bottle of water are an act of XENODOCHY.    A hand gesture inviting someone to take our seat or letting someone go in front of us at the check out line are also acts of XENODOCY.   Practicing XENODOCY on a daily basis is an important value to cultivate in our daily life.   Most of us have been on the other end and needed and act of XENODOCY and remember how awful it felt to be overlooked or not invited to participate in an important event.  Those hurt feelings were very painful at the time.  It does hurt when others do not practice XENODOCY.  Thus think ahead and ask, “What will our guests need while staying with us?”  Be observant to the needs of others around you and ask yourself, “What act of XENOCOCHY can I practice right now?”    Acts of XENODOCHY are important to practice in order to make our world a kinder more positive place to live. We can walk around in a selfish stupor or we can get outside of our individual narcissism and think about what others need and make our world a better place to live.  Be a person of XENODOCY

Monday, August 25, 2014

YOUR LIFE A-Z: REJOICE


REJOICE IN WHO YOU ARE
REJOICE
“REJOICE and love yourself today, ‘cause baby you were born this way.”  Lady Gaga’s lyrics to the song Born This Way are quite powerful and if you allow yourself  to close our eyes and listen a sense of hope is birthed.  The word REJOICE is an action verb that promotes an inner response of “yes.”   REJOICE implies that you exclaim, shout, dance, and proclaim out loud an inner delight and exuberance.  What makes you REJOICE?  What makes you SING?  What make you feel alive and want to tell everyone how excited you are to be you in this moment and time?   REJOICE is an action response of gratitude.  Take a walk through your closet and chose a favorite outfit and REJOICE (do a little jig) that you are blessed enough to have favorite clothes in your closet.  REJOICE that you are able to be alive right now in this very moment regardless of how tough it might be in your life, express some gratitude for what “is” verses looking at what isn’t.   REJOICE in the small things in life and those small things will become more expansive and important.  REJOICE and love yourself today just the way you are, allowing self-acceptance to overflow into your heart and your actions.  Choose a symbol that represents who you are and search for a piece of jewelry that expresses your uniqueness in a way that you can delight in.  REJOICE is an important word, own it and use it today. 


Saturday, July 19, 2014

YOUR LIFE A-Z: MOVEMENT

ENJOY THE PLAYFULNESS OF MOVEMENT

MOVEMENT

MOVEMENT is absolutely essential to your wellbeing.  Whether it is touching your toes ten times or walking around the block ten times, it is important to MOVE.  Physical MOVEMENT also increases your resistance to depression, increases your immune system, and keeps you younger and agile as you MOVE through the stages of your life.  It is impossible to maintain a sour attitude if you MOVE your body and focus on letting breathe and life within.  MOVEMENT requires that you focus your attention to your body and often in our Western culture we forget we have a body.  There is a mind-body disconnect that can be healed via MOVEMENT and focus.  Focus on your body and MOVE it slowly and purposely.  Stretch your body with MOVEMENTS that require you to focus on “further” than before.  Stretch upward and MOVE downward.  MOVE to the right and then to the left.  MOVE for your enjoyment and health.  Swimming is also a great way to MOVE your body with little effort.  If you will MOVE for 10 minutes a day you will gain more energy.  If you change your position and MOVE to the back of the room you will gain a different perspective.  If you re-arrange your furniture by MOVING it around it will elevate your mood and give you a sense of newness.  If you MOVE a plant to different location you will smile at the change of attitude in a room.  MOVEMENT is key to changing your mood in a matter of minutes.  MOVE your body or MOVE your environment around and notice the internal change. 

Sunday, June 29, 2014

YOUR LIFE A-Z:TRUST

WISDOM WATCHES AND LISTENS

TRUST

TRUST is an assured reliance on someone or something that is dependable, honest, forthright, and strong according to the dictionaries that abound.  In our Western culture we loosely have it on our coins but no one really knows why anymore and it does seem so trite.  TRUST is precious and should not be given lightly because when someone breaks your TRUST, a wound is created inside of you that when it heals it heals with a scar that carries a story.  That unfortunate story becomes a memory that overshadows true TRUST in the future.  Thus, I would say TRUST is conditional and must be granted based on history of integrity, honesty, and actions that match the words coming out of someone else’s mouth.  However, much more important to the TWENTY MINUTE COACH is self TRUST.  Do you TRUST yourself?  Do your actions match the words coming out of your mouth?  Does your heart agree with your head?  Are you congruent in the way that you deal with the world around you, especially your loved ones?
The hard work of TRUST starts with you.  If you do not TRUST yourself, then you will never TRUST someone else.  I work with people who are suspicious, paranoid, and afraid.  When we get to the root of his/her issue the bottom line is that he/she does not TRUST his/her self.  They keep reporting that they let themselves down all the time by not doing what he/she says they will do.  TRUST yourself in just one thing and then add to it from there

Thursday, June 12, 2014

YOUR LIFE A-Z: CALL

24/7 CALL OUT TO THE UNIVERSE

CALL

CALL the Battle cry.  Make your voice known.  Speak into thin air that which you need.  CALL your name out and see how that sounds hearing you call to yourself by name.  There are times when you need to CALL your name in firmness just like a parent called your name when you were in danger.  “___________, Stop that.”  There are also times when you need to CALL your own name gently.  For instance,  “__________________, I hear you are upset right now.  Tell me what you are feeling.”  To speak aloud our own name or to speak aloud that which we need is one way of being proactive in being present in your life.  CALLING aloud your own name is a way of declaring that you exist and that you mean business.  CALL your own phone and leave yourself an encouraging message or a reminder as to what your current goal is.  It is also important to CALL for help.  When you are in an emergency situation, hopefully you don’t think twice about calling 911.  What makes you wait until your emotional pain is unbearable to call your therapist or a friend?  Part of this Twenty Minute Coach process is to recognize that it takes a village to live a happy productive life and that you don’t have to stay stuck in a vacuum.  CALL into existence what it is that you need. Use your voice to speak deliberately and with conviction that which you declare that you want now. CALL out!



Saturday, June 7, 2014

YOUR LIFE A-Z: XENODOCHIAL


Be Kind
XENODOCHIAL
Today I heard a news clip about a wealthy person in the 1% who wants to stop the anger at the 1% by giving back his wealth to strangers. You can find the story at:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/25/hidden-cash_n_5390074.html?ir=Business.   XENODOCHIAL means exactly that: “being friendly to strangers.”  How awesome is that?  The 1% person has found a creative and fun way to give back to strangers without having the hassles of a committee, corporate overhead or the minutia of executive structure.  He/she just goes out every day and hides a $1,000 dollars in different amounts through out the city and then tweets the clues to the hiding places.  What a way to practice XENODOCHIAL!  How can you practice XENODOCHIAL by being friendly to strangers today?  Notice how your judgments get in your way and the chatter in your head stops you.  As Westerner’s raised to be cautious and careful I am sure many of you have already created crime scenes and excuses as to why this stranger’s XENODOCHIAL will not work.  Rather than focus on what does not work or what you can’t do change your focus to practicing ten acts of XENODOCHIAL and when you can check off ten of those acts, focus on how much fun you had being a XENODOCHIAL Wizard.  Life is more fun the more you play.  Don’t let anything get in the way of playful opportunities.  Here in the desert it is easy to carry extra water and give it to the homeless.  What are things that you can do today and forever?

Thursday, May 1, 2014

YOUR LIFE A-Z:0WN

OWN TODAY!

OWN

OWN your life! OWN your story! OWN your choices. What you don't like, change it or quit whining about it.  OWN your decisions. It is possible to gather new energy and direction in your life by taking personal responsibility for your choices.  Once you decide that you are responsible for the situation you are currently in, the hopelessness and helplessness diminishes.  As the negative diminishes, new life and energy seep into the dry spaces in your life and a sense of urgency is born.  It is almost like you say to yourself, "where have you been?  I've missed you.  Let's get started."  OWN today and make new choices.

Each time you do something for yourself today in a positive manner say to yourself, "Yes, I am OWNING my OWN life.  I made that choice." Punctuating the positive goes a long way to giving us new energy and support to keep going.  Remember those feelings you had as a child when you OWNED your OWN bike and then remember what if felt like to OWN a new car or home?  Let that feeling bubble up inside of you because as an adult you OWN your life, your body, and your choices.  Enjoy the pride of OWNERSHIP and show off the new You.  Enjoy the flow of energy and vitality when You take responsibility to hold yourself accountable by choosing to OWN your decisions and choices.  OWN the direction in your life and drive to your next destination with pride.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

YOUR LIFE A-Z XYSTER

THESE CACTUS APPEAR SOFT BUT CLEARLY RUB THE WRONG WAY



XYSTER
Yes, "X" words are few in the English language.  XYSTER is a surgical instrument used for scraping bones and making them smooth.  It reminds me of large file I once  used when I thought creating something from a block of soap stone was a good idea.  So, a bone that needs to be scraped and made smooth brings up that old adage, "I have a bone to pick with you."  Which means something is rubbing you the wrong way and annoying you. What is bothering you and rubbing you the wrong way?  What is under your skin causing you to be annoyed?  Today is a day to smooth out the rough places inside. Pick up the phone and call someone that you have been waiting to call you.  Send a card to someone that has hurt your feelings.  Reach out to that family member that has annoyed the hell out of you.  Smooth things out inside of yourself.  Make sure that your surgical instrument is clean and sanitised.  Don't reach out until you are ready. If you have expectations as to how the other person needs to respond to your olive branch of peace, thenyour XYSTER is not clean for surgery.  You need to prepare yourself to reach out for you not because you expect anything in return.  It is our expectations that cause us our suffering.  Bone scraping is painful and requires healing time as well as very precise actions to get the bone smooth enough not to bother or annoy you with future encounters.