YOUR LIFE A-Z:GRACE

ONE STEP OF GRACE AT A TIME

GRACE

GRACE is considered a root word to GRACEFUL and GRACIOUSNESS.  Also, from a Christian perspective GRACE is a theological word that implies God’s love and acceptance of you just the way you are, not holding you in judgment for your normal humanity.  As the TWENTY-MINUE COACH, I would like you to practice more of the theological word GRACE toward yourself, releasing your judgment and criticism of yourself for being human.  You are going to screw-up and make mistakes.  Some of those mistakes are going to be huge and others annoying.  Either way, nothing is therapeutic about beating yourself up with emotional negativity that berates you and betrays you. When you put yourself, you are practicing self-betrayal. Stop and think about that.  Those hurt feelings and broken heart by those who have hurt you in the past is no different than the pain and anguish you cause your own soul by the emotional abuse you dish out everyday at yourself.  GRACE, personal GRACIOUSNESS toward yourself is what you need.  The simple words, “I forgive myself for________,” are helpful and healing words to break the monotony of the negative drone in your head.  GRACE is an action and a movement of positive energy that allows life to flow beautifully and look regal.  Practice being regal and asserting a sense of confidence about your life and let GRACE flow from your body as well as from your mouth and heart.  GRACIOUSNESS is needed to co-exist with you and with others.  Be Gracious today.

YOUR LIFE A-Z: XENODOCHIAL

Be Kind

XENODOCHIAL

Today I heard a news clip about a wealthy person in the 1% who wants to stop the anger at the 1% by giving back his wealth to strangers. You can find the story at:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/25/hidden-cash_n_5390074.html?ir=Business.   XENODOCHIAL means exactly that: “being friendly to strangers.”  How awesome is that?  The 1% person has found a creative and fun way to give back to strangers without having the hassles of a committee, corporate overhead or the minutia of executive structure.  He/she just goes out every day and hides a $1,000 dollars in different amounts through out the city and then tweets the clues to the hiding places.  What a way to practice XENODOCHIAL!  How can you practice XENODOCHIAL by being friendly to strangers today?  Notice how your judgments get in your way and the chatter in your head stops you.  As Westerner’s raised to be cautious and careful I am sure many of you have already created crime scenes and excuses as to why this stranger’s XENODOCHIAL will not work.  Rather than focus on what does not work or what you can’t do change your focus to practicing ten acts of XENODOCHIAL and when you can check off ten of those acts, focus on how much fun you had being a XENODOCHIAL Wizard.  Life is more fun the more you play.  Don’t let anything get in the way of playful opportunities.  Here in the desert it is easy to carry extra water and give it to the homeless.  What are things that you can do today and forever?

YOUR LIFE A-Z SILENCE

SERENE AND SILENT

SILENCE is one of the most important mindful techniques and tools that you can integrate into your daily life.  Set a timer and sit for 5 minutes.  Do nothing but sit.  What was that like?  Did your mind abuse you with negative thoughts about wasting time and not getting things done?  Did you notice sounds that you would have missed because you were not mindful of them, like birds chirping or the soft whirl of the heating unit?  It is also useful to practice SILENCE when you have nothing kind or nice to say.  Being SILENT in the middle of chaos can calm everyone down.  It is easier to explore any situation that is happening if you give it a moment of reflective SILENCE.  If you are someone who needs background noise such as music or TV playing in the background,then choose to turn that static noise off for ½ hour a day and notice what happens.  If you do that for thirty days, I believe you will notice a positive difference in your being.  SILENCE is not only golden, it is also electric.  It allows you the time to tune into important internal information and pay attention to feelings, emotions, and thoughts by giving wisdom a chance to settle in around you. Like a wonderful gentle blanket letting you know without words what you need to focus on next.  If you have an important question that you are trying to obtain an answer to, just ask it and practice SILENCE until you know the answer.  You will know when you know.  

YOUR LIFE A-Z GENTLE

BE GENTLE IN ALL STORMS

GENTLE

Being gentle with yourself as you move toward change is the best gift that you can give yourself.  Being unforgiving, critical, and demanding will hurt you at your core. Harshness injures your soul. Negativity damages you at your cellular level, making your cells ragged and mutating.  Being GENTLE with yourself is an amazing tool for healing. And if I call it a tool, it will be more palatable for some of you.

When I suggest a GENTLE inner voice to a client, it sometimes makes them recoil in disgust.  That tells me a lot about the level of shame they have at their core self.  Usually, the words that roll out of his/her mouth after I suggest a GENTLE inner voice are “I am not going to be weak or a cry baby.”  That response often comes when I make a suggestion such as, “I know you are feeling disappointed with your choice right now and you need to have some alone time to deal with the hurt.” Verses a response that says, “Stupid, you did it again, you are always going to be a loser just like your father said you would.”  So, if GENTLE is a tool, just like breath work, journaling, affirmations, emotional regulation, and goal setting, then GENTLE is just another tool in your Coaching tool box.

If a situation needs a tiny screwdriver, a hammer is not going to be helpful.  So, choose the right tools for the right situations. A tiny screwdriver is necessity in all toolboxes.  So is the GENTLE inner voice or a GENTLE touch, or a GENTLE response a necessity for positive change.