YOUR LIFE A-Z:UNITE

ALL OF YOUR PARTS ARE IMPORTANT.

UNITE

UNITE the many parts within yourself.  UNITE your desires to work for you rather than to pull you in a million directions.  I challenge you to take a twenty- minute break with your journal.  Turn to the next blank page and draw a big circle.  In the circle write words that define your many parts.  For example: inner child, inner teen-ager, resentful one, joyful one, sad one, mad one, happy one, hopeful one, honest one, deceitful one, fearful one, healthy one, unhealthy parts, and other emotional parts as they come up.  Next draw different color circles around each of these words.  Take a breath and look at all of those parts of yourself competing for your attention.  Each part needs you desperately to pay attention to it.  Each part has a story to tell.  Mary Catherine Bates said, “An untold story is a difficult story to claim.”  I might change that to, “An untold story is waiting for your attention in order to heal.”  Interesting shame is positively mitigated by the telling of our stories to compassionate and non-judgmental friends.  In order to heal we must be able to trust at some basic level that our story is just like many other people’s story, but with different characters.  We heal in community by UNITING together with our tribe of like-minded and compassionate folks. UNITE on the inside and then UNITE on the outside with all of those whom you care about and care about you.  UNITE always. 

YOUR LIFE A-Z WISDOM

ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE BLESSED

WISDOM

WISDOM requires integrating a value system of reflection, experience, good judgement, and discernment.  It does not come without experience.  WISDOM is a characteristic of living a life with soft eyes and gentle footsteps.  WISDOM allows the wise one to take his/her time in making decisions, speaking his/her truth, and a following a clear path of compassion with fellow people encountered on the path.  To practice WISDOM is to be aware of your thoughts and how your thoughts affect your quality of daily life.  Each day counts.  Each day you make a difference in your life and the life of others by your thoughts, words, and actions.  Awareness of how you impact others and your own quality of life is essential to establishing quality and virtue in living.  If you want to live a better life, seek daily WISDOM.  Ask for compassion and WISDOM. Ask for guidance as to how to make the best choices for yourself and those you come in contact with.  Practice WISDOM with your spending.  You work hard for your money. Choose where to spend it and how to spend it, but don't become cheap.  Buy quality.  Enjoy living.  Enjoy the day to day grind.  WISDOM is enjoying the moment.  Place a slice of lemon in your water and notice your smile and quality of living increase.  WISDOM is in tandem with enjoyment and quality.  If you don't experience enjoyment and quality of life, you are not practicing WISDOM.  Make today a day of enjoyment and quality even if it is as simple as buying fresh flowers for your table.

YOUR LIFE A-Z SILENCE

SERENE AND SILENT

SILENCE is one of the most important mindful techniques and tools that you can integrate into your daily life.  Set a timer and sit for 5 minutes.  Do nothing but sit.  What was that like?  Did your mind abuse you with negative thoughts about wasting time and not getting things done?  Did you notice sounds that you would have missed because you were not mindful of them, like birds chirping or the soft whirl of the heating unit?  It is also useful to practice SILENCE when you have nothing kind or nice to say.  Being SILENT in the middle of chaos can calm everyone down.  It is easier to explore any situation that is happening if you give it a moment of reflective SILENCE.  If you are someone who needs background noise such as music or TV playing in the background,then choose to turn that static noise off for ½ hour a day and notice what happens.  If you do that for thirty days, I believe you will notice a positive difference in your being.  SILENCE is not only golden, it is also electric.  It allows you the time to tune into important internal information and pay attention to feelings, emotions, and thoughts by giving wisdom a chance to settle in around you. Like a wonderful gentle blanket letting you know without words what you need to focus on next.  If you have an important question that you are trying to obtain an answer to, just ask it and practice SILENCE until you know the answer.  You will know when you know.  

YOUR LIFE A-Z DEFINE

LOOK AT THE SAPCE BETWEEN THE CACTUS...DEFINE IT.

DEFINE

Maybe in retrospect this should have been your first “D” word, but if you are like me, often times I cannot define what I want because I am not clear enough yet on what is it I want.  So now that we are going through the alphabetfor the forth time, it is important to stop, reflect, and clearly define where you are headed with your goals that you set out when you started this life changing process.  You are being invited to explore spirituality, creativity, ritual, prayer, experiences, and metaphors as active ways to live your life fully and completely.  If you were to write a paragraph about your happy life, how would you define your experience of being happy right now?  If you are not happier than when you started this process something is wrong.  Something is still missing and you need to find a way to put your finger on it.  Define it specifically in order to address the issue.  So, give writing a paragraph about your personal happiness a whirl right now.  DEFINE what specifically is making you happy.  Expound and describe the state of your personal happiness right now and explore how it might need to be tweaked to make you feel even more happiness.  Go back to the word ABUNDANCE.  Do you have enough?  Are you living within your means?   DEFINE what your next step is for the next thirty days.  DEFINE your attitude as the KINGFISH of your life.  DEFINE what you have control over and what you don’t have control over with the changes in your life.  Let go of what you don’t have control over and move on.

Your Life A-Z LISTEN

Shh! I 'm Listening

LISTEN

To pay attention to something.  There is so much to listen to today; you really need to have a filter to help you focus on what is important.  For instance, if your partner is speaking to you, it might be important to put Facebook down.  If you are driving, it might be important not to have the music so loud that you can’t hear an emergency vehicle’s siren.  Listening attentively is what I do for a living. I am paying attention not only to the words that are coming out of a client’s mouth, but to the tone, the volume, and the body language. If a client is answering yes to something but is shaking his/her head no, then there is incongruence between what is being said and what is really being said.  In psychotherapy, most of us believe that the body does not lie.  As a result, using the body as a source of wisdom and intuition is very important. 

Today pay attention to inside of your body.  What does your body say to you about ___________________?  What is it your body thinks about what is going on in your life? Is your body relaxed in your relationship or uptight?  Is your body happy at work or frustrated?  What is the tension in your shoulders trying to let you know?  What is the knot in your stomach  screaming at you?  Practice your breathing and tune in to your body and listen.  Pay attention and take action toward releasing the negativity in your life.

Photo: RbDilleytwenty minute coachTwenty Minute Coach