Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Developing Your Resources as A Cancer Survivor

It is Breast Cancer awareness month and In A MOMENT'S NOTICE Facebook Page was birthed as a result of my own journey with breast cancer.  I will sharing informative post throughout the month and ask that you past them on to your families and friends on FaceBook so that they too like my page and enjoy the information.  My first posting is a repost of a series that I wrote for Breast Cancer Yoga two months ago.

Breast Cancer Mini Series With Dr. Dilley (Part 1 of 4)

Robin Dilley Grow Your Own HandsGrowing Your Own Hands – Part One

How To Develop A Support System For Breast Cancer

This is the first in a series of four on Growing Your Own Hands after the diagnosis of Breast Cancer.  You can find a version of this story at http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/grimm031.htm
One of my favorite stories to use as a psychologist is the story of the Miller’s Daughter.  This story resonates in so many ways with those facing breast cancer and other life threatening situations.   This story echoes the many multilayers of emotion throughout the journey with breast cancer, especially that emotion where it is normal to feel as if our bodies betrayed us.  The story is an old Grimm’s fairy tale and it goes like this:  A miller came upon hard times. He was approached in the forest by a strange character and was told, “If you give me what is behind the mill right this moment, I will make you a rich man.”
The miller thought to himself, “There is nothing behind the mill except an old apple tree”, so the Miller agreed.  But, to his surprise, it was his daughter that was behind the mill.
So, when the time came, a struggle ensued between the strange character and the miller’s daughter.  The daughter used spiritual symbols of that era to protect herself.   She drew a circle around herself and the strange character could not pass through the boundary of the circle to acquire his prized possession.  Finally, the strange character said to the miller, “Look I am going to take back all of your riches that I have given you unless you cut off your daughter’s hands.”  The miller, being a selfish man, did just that.
The miller then turns to his daughter and says,  “With my riches, I will build you a castle and take care of you in every lavish way.”
The daughter responded,  “No thank you.  I will go out into the world and trust the goodness of others.”  And so her mother bound her daughter’s handless arms and she left her father’s house for a journey she chose after a traumatic even happened to her.  Life as she knew it had came to an end.
Over the next seven years, the daughter grew her own hands.  When facing all of the struggles of treatment, fears of death, and the constant roller-coaster of emotions that sometimes drown us, there is still that place deep down inside of us that we can access and move forward to write the next chapters of our lives.  And by doing so, we grow our own hands again in ways that we never have could imagined.
Once we receive the diagnosis with breast cancer, our emotions go into shock and we are faced with very important life-changing choices.  It is important at this time to rely on the goodness of others and build a support system.  Ideally, one of those people should be a “research director” who can take the information from the pathology report that gives you the map the oncologist and radiologist will be using to offer you the best treatment options available to you at this time.

Your path report will tell you what type of breast cancer, what stage, what grade, etc.  Each one of those foreign words can be researched online to help you better understand what you are facing.  By having a good research director on board, s/he can forward you information worth looking at and discard the hundreds of articles that you do not need to know at this time.

From there, create a list of questions for your oncologist and radiologist.  There are no stupid questions.  And in the emotional turmoil that you are in, you may need to ask the same question over and over until you understand the ramifications of what you are about to go through.  It is important to feel that you have choices and that you are a vital part of your own treatment team.  There are many oncologists out there, so give yourself permission to shop around if you don’t like the responses you are getting from yours.  You may not be able to control the fact that you now have breast cancer, but you can make lots of decisions along the way.     Blogger: Robin B. Dilley PhD

Monday, July 6, 2015

Virtual Summer Boot Camp

Individualized program to help you get started on whatever it is you want to change. 
Start Date: By Appointment (30minutes-by phone of VSEE).
Includes 30 Minute Goal Defining Process Session
 6-20 Minute Focus Sessions
What better time to start than NOW!!! Fourth of July is Over the Next Holiday is not until     September 7th.  Seems to me it will give you something to look forward to and propel you toward your new goals and  personal change.   Here is a list of things to think about focusing on and try to get out of your box.
Who are some people that might benefit from a twenty-minute coach?
SPIRITUALITY:  Questions, spiritual issues, looking for help with a spiritual practice
HEALTH: Want to explore life-style and health changes
PERSONAL GROWTH: Looking for ways to use your voice and be visible to yourself and others.
PERSONAL STORY:  Look closely at you life’s story and relationships and move toward writing a new story. 
Parents:  who need immediate processing about what to do with a situation with their child.
Employees: Trouble-shooting relationships at work or deciding to move on or not
Bosses: Trouble-shooting work situations
People in life transitions:  Divorce, grief, job loss, career decisions, and life transitions of any kind. 
Anyone who is feeling a need for help, insight, direction, and/or to get out of old patterns and are serious about to moving forward  in his/her life.

If you are interested in using this innovative idea to help you get out of your box and get-started then email me at drrobinbdilley@gmail.com today.  All sessions must be used by September 7, 2015.  Introductory Price $350.00.  Ask about Premier Package for $500.00. 

Monday, June 15, 2015


Fire burning within your soul, not because you it keeps you warm but because it brings you great joy to connect with the "Other."  Spirituality cannot be defined by others it has to be defined by you from deep within you being.  But you may notice as soon as you define it, it begins to evade you. The evasion of Spirituality is like trying to catch air in a bottle.  You can't see the air.  You can't drink the air.  You can't touch the air and if you pour water into the bottle then there is no space left for air to be.  Air is absolutely necessary for the survival of earthlings but it is not easy to capture or define.  Spirituality is absolutely necessary for earthlings but it will not be defined or contained nor restrained by our English language.  Spirituality is about experience.  Spirituality is about connection.  Spirituality is about other. Spirituality is about emotion.  Spirituality is about_____________________.  Yes, you can finish the sentence.  Spirituality is mystical, mystery and ordinary.  When you give a street musician a dollar for playing his/her banjo or when you give the waiter/waitress a tip you are practicing Spirituality. You are connecting with other in a meaningful way, making another earthling’s lives better.  Be the fire that turns many shades of color throughout your day.  Make someone else smile because you took a moment to make a difference.  As the Dali Lama say’s “My religion is kindness.”  It is connecting with your own inner fire that makes Spirituality the fire (action) a religion.  Sharing what is within and the sharing of your resources makes Spirituality come to life.  

Saturday, January 10, 2015




There is no better time that now to become proficient in the art of MULTI-TASKING.   To MULTI-TASK is to live in optimal organization in order to squeeze the zest out of life.  As you make your to-do list, (and you are doing that now aren’t you?) think in terms of organizing your list in ways that you can accomplish several things.  What gets done while you are doing laundry?  What three activities can you sweep together into one?  For instance, when doing your taxes it a good time to do a budget review and tweak the budget for next year, making sure there are plenty of dollars saved for that vacation.  In the United States we over-work and under-play.  It is time to reverse that but in order to make a dent in the amount of time and energy we waste each day, it is important to MULTI-TASK.  Organize your day, your week, your month and your year with key MULTI-TASKING actions that keep you moving forward and saving valuable time for playing while MULTI-TASKING your chores.  Think about adding music to the background of your chores to enhance your mood.  Add some humor and laughter into the mix of daily activity to boost your morale.  MULTI-TASKING does not have to be all about hard work, it can be about play too.  If play and laughter are not on your to-do list, it is likely that it won’t happen.  You must plan for it just like you plan for dinner.  It is the balance of MULTI-TASKING that fills your day with positive opportunities.