Spirituality

 

SPIRITUALITY 

Fire burning within your soul, not because you it keeps you warm but because it brings you great joy to connect with the "Other."  Spirituality cannot be defined by others it has to be defined by you from deep within you being.  But you may notice as soon as you define it, it begins to evade you. The evasion of Spirituality is like trying to catch air in a bottle.  You can't see the air.  You can't drink the air.  You can't touch the air and if you pour water into the bottle then there is no space left for air to be.  Air is absolutely necessary for the survival of earthlings but it is not easy to capture or define.  Spirituality is absolutely necessary for earthlings but it will not be defined or contained nor restrained by our English language.  Spirituality is about experience.  Spirituality is about connection.  Spirituality is about other. Spirituality is about emotion.  Spirituality is about_____________________.  Yes, you can finish the sentence.  Spirituality is mystical, mystery and ordinary.  When you give a street musician a dollar for playing his/her banjo or when you give the waiter/waitress a tip you are practicing Spirituality. You are connecting with other in a meaningful way, making another earthling’s lives better.  Be the fire that turns many shades of color throughout your day.  Make someone else smile because you took a moment to make a difference.  As the Dali Lama say’s “My religion is kindness.”  It is connecting with your own inner fire that makes Spirituality the fire (action) a religion.  Sharing what is within and the sharing of your resources makes Spirituality come to life.  

YOUR LIFE A-Z: UBUNTU

ALL FOR ONE-ONE FOR ALL

UBUNTU

Sometime ago there was a post on FB of children sitting in a circle and creating a another circle by touching their feet together with outstretched legs.  The story was about UBUNTU.  UBUNTU is an African word that means human kindness in a very progressive sense.  These children were told that candy was beneath a tree and the child who got there first won all of the candy.  Instead of running off to the candy, the children reached for each other and ran together holding hands for the candy.  They explained to the reporter that it is not kind for one to be happy and the rest to be sad.  UBUNTU is a word that has woven itself deep within the African culture inclusive of its socialistic politics.  This deep equality of UBUNTU brings people together on the same playground and motivates them to work together for the good of the whole.   How do you practice UBUNTU in your society and community, even if some are strangers or they look and act differently than you?  Desmond Tutu writes in 1999, “A person with UBUNTU is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, based from a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated, or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed.” The stranger next door is your brother or your sister so practice UBUNTU toward him or her.  Let UBUNTU exude from your heart everyday.

YOUR LIFE A-Z: KOSHER

SIMPLE AND SAFE

KOSHER

Perhaps it is time to learn a little from our Jewish friends.  Even if God did not hand deliver the written KOSHER laws to the Jewish people, perhaps the Higgins-Boson, placed the food preparation ideas into the hearts and minds of people back in the day.  If you read the KOSHER rules on food preparation, they make perfectly good sense, especially prior to refrigeration.  I found the KOSHER law on the preparation of meat particularly educational.  It says that animals need to be slaughtered in a way that does not cause the animal pain.  Thus, again if we are all interconnected it would be appropriate not to cause pain when taking the life of an animal to provide for our dinner tables.  Also the mixing of certain foods is not allowed.  It seems to be that KOSHER preparation of food is mindful preparation of food and that great care goes into the KOSHER kitchen to mindfully prepare a meal fit for human consumption.  The word KOSHER also means proper and appropriate.  For instance, it is not KOSHER to cheat someone out of his or her well-deserved wage.  The proper and appropriate action is to pay people a just wage for the work he/she does.  Sometimes laws protect us and sometimes our laws protect bad people.  We do not always see eye to eye on certain issues, but it is important to keep KOSHER and be mindful about the lifestyle we live.  Being KOSHER will help us stay mindful

YOUR LIFE A-Z:XENODOCY

GIFTS OF HOSPITALITY AND COMPASSION

XENODOCHY

As the Twenty Minute Coach has said, “X” words are complicated and practical ones are hard to find, but XENODOCHY is a very useful word for each of us to practice. XENODOCHY means hospitality.   It is easy to forget that we are a community on this planet and that we need each other.  Little things like offering a homeless person a bottle of water are an act of XENODOCHY.    A hand gesture inviting someone to take our seat or letting someone go in front of us at the check out line are also acts of XENODOCY.   Practicing XENODOCY on a daily basis is an important value to cultivate in our daily life.   Most of us have been on the other end and needed and act of XENODOCY and remember how awful it felt to be overlooked or not invited to participate in an important event.  Those hurt feelings were very painful at the time.  It does hurt when others do not practice XENODOCY.  Thus think ahead and ask, “What will our guests need while staying with us?”  Be observant to the needs of others around you and ask yourself, “What act of XENOCOCHY can I practice right now?”    Acts of XENODOCHY are important to practice in order to make our world a kinder more positive place to live. We can walk around in a selfish stupor or we can get outside of our individual narcissism and think about what others need and make our world a better place to live.  Be a person of XENODOCY

YOUR LIFE A-Z:OFFER

YOU ARE ENOUGH

OFFER

 To OFFER something implies that you are engaged in the situation and are reaching out to add something to the situation.  To OFFER a guest a chair, something to drink, or an invitation to be comfortable is not only the right thing to do but also the appropriate sign of a good host.  To let guests fend for themselves is rude.  To OFFER something requires very little energy and gives so much in the way of kindness.  Today, challenge yourself to notice the nuances around you and reach out to others with a simple, OFFER.  To OFFER something to someone else can require that you get out of your self-centered focus and focus on the environment.  Ask yourself, who is here and what might they need.  Pay attention to others and do what you can to make their life better today by OFFERING a smile or a kind word.  Identifying with someone’s discomfort or pain and verbally noticing it by saying, “Looks like you are sad,” is an OFFER of kindness.  To OFFER your seat to someone standing is a gesture of kindness and one day you may need the same.  How would you feel if you showed up as a guest at someone’s house and no one OFFERED you a seat, a drink, or a pleasant, “Please make yourself comfortable?”  That lack of OFFERING would make you think twice about returning and it should.  Why would you choose to be around those who do not OFFER anything back in return?  OFFER from your heart and if you are not OFFERING, perhaps your heart has grown cold. 

YOUR LIFE A-Z:JUXTAPOSITION

SAME AND DIFFERENT

JUXTAPOSITION:

JUXTAPOSITION is often contrasting positions placed side by side to explore the similarities and differences.  For instance what is the JUXTAPOSITION of kindness and compassion.  Without much reflection we often think of these two words as one in the same.  But even though they are similar they are not the same.  Kindness is often an action of compassion, something people do out of an inner space within of compassion.  Compassion is an attitude of empathy, where the compassionate one is able to place his/herself in the same shoes of someone else, even those that in most incidences that would cause inner disgust such as a murderer.  Compassion in JUXTAPOSITION to kindness is a parallel track, an inner experience of the outer expression of kindness.  It is difficult to observe the similarities of subtle differences unless we place words, thoughts, feelings, and/or actions side by side.  A JUXTAPOSITION of hatred might be racism and a JUXTAPOSITION of war might be economic gain.  By examining issues via JUXTAPOSITION we enlighten and educate ourselves in various schools of thought empowering our brain to make valuable and healthy judgments.   As you discover the power of mindfulness allow yourself to explore side by side the JUXTAPOSITION of good and evil; rich and poor; and smart and ignorance.  Then explore the JUXTAPOSITION of fear and bravery; courage and action; or love and caring.  JUXTAPOSING words next to each other help us live more meaningful and mindful daily lives.  JUXTAPOSING words is also a mental exercise that enlightens. 

YOUR LIFE A-Z:HELP

HELP COMES IN MANY COLORS

HELP

Oh my, what is the difference between the four letter word HELP and the four letter word GIVE? Clearly the words are similar.  They both require compassion, kindness, and mindfulness.   The Twenty-Minute Coach invites you to think about the word HELP as something that really needs to be done.  If someone has fallen then he/she will appreciate your HELP in getting up. When you respond to a disaster situation with physical labor then you are HELPING verses just giving money.  The giving of money, of course, is HELP.  HELP is action that requires you to do something outside of your normal routine and giving is something you practice at least during the holiday season.  How do you HELP?   How do you go beyond what is expected of you and HELP your family and friends?  How do you HELP strangers?  First and foremost, HELP yourself.   Self HELP means going out of your normal and natural patterns to actively participate in changing something to HELP your life better.  HELP also allows us to feel good about our actions of compassion and kindness.  It is important to acknowledge that you are not alone on this planet and reach out to others to ask for HELP.  Asking for HELP is not sign of weakness, it is an act of courage to acknowledge that you can’t do everything all by yourself.  Allow others the gift of feeling good about themselves by allowing them to HELP you.  I am asking for your HELP.  I want 500 likes on IN A MOMENT’S NOTICE page by the end of July.  HELP me by suggesting to your friends that 

YOUR LIFE A-Z: KINDNESS

GIVE BACK TO THE WORLD

KINDNESS

There is not excuse not to be kind.  There is no reason to trample on someone else’s opinion, possessions, or space just because you disagree with them or you are having a bad day.  Pema Chodron, in her book, The Places that Scare You, teaches loving kindness practice.  In Buddhist tradition, prayer always starts with you first.  So, it goes like this: “May I experience kindness and the root of kindness.”  After you comes six other people, including the person you are having the most difficult being and broader to all sentient beings.  

There is correlation we see in the psychotherapy office that seems to be a mirror to how individuals live their lives.People who are kind to him/herself tend to be kind to others, including giving the homeless person a bottled water or a buck. People whose inner critic beat them up all day with negative and doubtful thoughts tend to do the same to everyone else in his/her path, especially the non-suspecting clerk that is a little slower than he/she would like.  If you are finding yourself grouchy, upset, uptight and rude then it is time to take a “time-out” and practice a little personal kindness.  What is eating at you that you have not been paying attention to?  Or, what are you worried about that you are holding inside all to yourself.  You deserve a good friend or partner to share what hurts inside.  Be kind to yourself today by sharing your worries with a trusted friend or writing them out to God, as you understand God to be and notice the transformation of your own mood.  Have a great day!