YOUR LIFE A-Z:BREAKFAST

A HEALTHY CHOICE WHEN EATING OUT

BREAKFAST

The first rule of good physical self-care is to always eat BREAKFAST.  BREAKFAST starts our metabolism for the day and signals the body that it is time to get on with the process or living well.  BREAKFAST is considered by most health experts to be the most important meal of the day.  However, not all BREAKFAST meals are the same, so this is not a license to eat whatever you want. However, it is a license to eat something.  Good BREAKFAST choices are always less than 500 calories and often you can have a good breakfast less than 300 calories.  Portion control is important in all of our meals.  BREAKFAST needs to be balanced with protein choices.  Thus an egg omelet with fresh veggies, yogurt with nuts and berries, apple with peanut butter, whole grain carbs with any of the above can complete the meal for you.  Some of you enjoy variety, so be sure to think ahead and have several healthy choices on hand and pre-plan it the night before so that you get in the habit of making sure you eat before you leave the house or have a breakfast to go ready and waiting for you in the fridge.  Some professionals recommend that you eat protein with your BREAKFAST meal and that you eat within thirty minutes of being up.  If you are not a BREAKFAST eater, then make this meal a priority and keep it simple in order to get into the habit.  The simpler it is for you the more successful you will be. 

YOUR LIFE A-Z:MITIGATE

THERE IS BEAUTY IN EVERYTHING

MITIGATE

If we lived in a world where there were no MITIGATING circumstances, that black and white world has the potential to be very boring and also very dangerous.  Imagine that flexibility gave way to rigidity and that MITIGATING circumstances did not matter.  To MITIGATE something is to lessen the severity of the sentence or to look at all of the circumstances involved.  To lighten someone else’s load due to MITIGATING circumstances and trying to understand why someone did what they did is important.  But what is even more important, it the fact that you learn to MITIGATE your own life choices.  To punish yourself for something you did years ago is ludicrous and useless.  To view yourself through a negative lens because of mistakes in your past is robbing you of today.  Learn to MITIGATE those negative messages in your head.  Learn to ask direct questions to those accusations in your head.  Ask:

 “Did I do the best I could at that time with what I had?”  

“If not, then what else was going on that prevented me from doing my best at that time?”

“What would I have needed at that time to make a better choice?

“How can I make the most of the situation today?”

Learning to MITIGATE those negative messages and forgive yourself for past mistakes is important to the quality of life you have today.  Google the word to Pink’s song, “Perfect,” and sing them everyday. “Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead.” MITIGATE.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:NOTICE

FEED YOUR DRAGON WITH KINDNESS

NOTICE

NOTICE can be a verb or a noun depending on the context of how it is being used.  Imagine waking up this morning and having a hand written notice on your pillow that says, “Your life will expire in thirty-days, make the most of it.”  Now that is a NOTICE.  You have been informed you have only thirty-days to live and now you have a choice.  In one sense you are one of the lucky ones, you now have the NOTICE of your time on earth.  You can choose to be angry and distressed that you have only thirty days left or you can choose to focus on what it is that matters to you the next thirty days.  NOTICE I said you get to choose what and how you want to spend your time.  See, I used the word NOTICE as a verb in that sentence that drew your attention to the word “you.”  The NOTICE came to you thus it is your choice how you want to spend the time.  Maybe you want to fly off and see the Almalfi Coast in Italy or jump from an airplane.  Perhaps your family wants you to come visit and spend your last thirty days with them.  If you have two conflicting choices either choose to make it a win-win for you or if that is not possible, clearly make it a win for you.  A NOTICE is an announcement of something important that should not be ignored whether it be in verb or noun form.  Take NOTICE and get a move on.  

YOUR LIFE A-Z:0WN

OWN TODAY!

OWN

OWN your life! OWN your story! OWN your choices. What you don't like, change it or quit whining about it.  OWN your decisions. It is possible to gather new energy and direction in your life by taking personal responsibility for your choices.  Once you decide that you are responsible for the situation you are currently in, the hopelessness and helplessness diminishes.  As the negative diminishes, new life and energy seep into the dry spaces in your life and a sense of urgency is born.  It is almost like you say to yourself, "where have you been?  I've missed you.  Let's get started."  OWN today and make new choices.

Each time you do something for yourself today in a positive manner say to yourself, "Yes, I am OWNING my OWN life.  I made that choice." Punctuating the positive goes a long way to giving us new energy and support to keep going.  Remember those feelings you had as a child when you OWNED your OWN bike and then remember what if felt like to OWN a new car or home?  Let that feeling bubble up inside of you because as an adult you OWN your life, your body, and your choices.  Enjoy the pride of OWNERSHIP and show off the new You.  Enjoy the flow of energy and vitality when You take responsibility to hold yourself accountable by choosing to OWN your decisions and choices.  OWN the direction in your life and drive to your next destination with pride.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:FLIP

FLIP

F's are so much fun.  First "F" word was "Fetch."  I said, "You don't have to run for it but at least go get it."  So, now let's flip it.  Toss it around.  Throw it up in the air and turn it all around.  Are you unsure as to what you want?  Are you torn between two options and feel equally challenged by which one you really want?  So get a quarter out and name the two sides.  What are you torn between?  Today, write 10 minutes about the heads side.  What is it that you like about this option we will call option A?  If you move toward this option, what will the benefits be to you?  How will this add positive energy to your life?  What will it cost you to accomplish it?  If the heads up had a message for you what is it?  Later today or tomorrow go to the tails side of the coin and ask yourself the same questions and write about option B.  Then re-read them both and call your toss. Flip it and work your option.  Enjoy the serendipitous nature of the Universe.  You did your work by taking the time to write so it is not a flippant decision, it is a flip-it decision.  It is examining both sides of very strong feelings and then allowing yourself to get a little help from a twenty-five cent coin.  If we toss things up in the air and examine the outcome we can move out of our ambivalence. 

Your Life A-Z AWARE

Check out Your Options with an Unobstructed View 

I have been asked by many, “what happened to the daily blog, where you published a word-a-day?”  I  reminded myself that I made a commitment to publish daily for one year a new word each day and readers could meditate, reflect, or journal about the word.  I kept my commitment for one year and now I will re-post those blogs in order that more of you can take part in this challenge to make the next 365 days count as you move into the present and become aware of your choices and actions. Enjoy.  

AWARE

The word of the day is Aware.  Look out for yourself from the best vantage point.  Rather than getting to the bottom of something, get to the top of it.  In the movie, The Dead Poet's Society, the students climbed to the top of their desks and looked outward as they said with gusto, "Seize The Day."  

Seize your day from the top of the rocks, look around and be aware.  Make a commitment to yourself to live in the present.  Ask yourself some inner investigative questions.  Start with centering yourself.  What emotion are you aware of right now?  How does that make your body feel?  What happens if you breath six deep breaths and stretch?  How does the feeling change?  Be aware of you!  Be aware of your emotions, thoughts, body and use your breath to deepen your awareness.  

In an interview between Pema Chodron and K.D. Lang. earlier this year these two Buddhist referred to the Gap experience.  The Gap is that space where we stop, look up, and notice that there is a sky and it is blue, or stormy, or dusk.  The Gap is taking time to stop and notice.  Where ever you are right now, look up.  What do you see?  Does you visual environment make you smile?  If not, what do you need to change so that you can smile?   

Becoming AWARE is a practice of being alive in the moment.  Don’t miss this moment.  

Photo:RBDilley

General Apathy

I was reading the introductory paragraph to my blog this morning and saw that I used the word general apathy.  I often tell my clients that wanting life to be exciting and an adventure all of the time is unrealistic and often thrill seeking is an addiction.  However, this morning I ran across an article on my Face Book (you can follow me there at www.facebook.com/inamomentsnotice.) by Andrea Balt written on July 31, 2013.  It was her 30th birthday and the title of the article is, 30 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Die.  It was published on nextadventure.org if you want to find the entire article.   I found her article to be very thoughtful, so much so that I wanted to use it on my blog to help you deal with general apathy.  It is so easy to fall  into apathy that often times we find ourselves living in it rather than visiting it from time to time.
The first three questions real like this:  How much have you loved?  What do you love doing that you are not doing? What person or type of person would you choose as a life companion?

Perhaps the first question answers the third question.  Le's talk about how much have you loved?   What type of person are you?  Are you generous with your love or do you withhold love until other people prove their love?  What is love? What is the difference between love and compassion?  It is interesting that one question leads to several other questions.  And perhaps one answer to waking up from apathy is to keep asking yourself questions and let the answers evolve from within.  For instance,  if you have never really loved then you live in a protective shell that keeps you from sharing your self with others.  In affect psychology we call often call that protective shell,  shame.  Shame is a biological system within that gets triggered easily and then interrupts our positive experiences and our positive actions.  As a result, shame hinders us from loving ourselves and others.  Yes, that is not a typo nor incorrect grammar,  we have many selves.  That is why our lives are very complex and in that complexity it is often hard to get ourselves to work together in our best interest.

Which part of you is preventing you from loving enough?  If you have loved then you have been hurt by love because the two go hand in hand.  You cannot love and expect never to be hurt.  The people we love are the ones closest to us and thus the ones that are capable of doing the most hurt.   You can think of love as a boot camp for personal growth.  The more you love the more opportunity avails itself for you to be hurt, but the flip side o that is the more opportunity for you to be thrilled with the companionship of life full of a significant other, friends, family, and colleagues who truly do love you and you love them.  It is hard to remain apathetic when you love.  Also, realize love is more than a feeling, it is a choice.  We choose to love and we choose who we love.  Love may feel like something that happens and then you may falsely assume that when you don't feel that "love" anymore you are no longer in love.  Loving and being in love are dances to the same song.  Sometimes you don't feel it but you choose it and other times you do feel it and can't imagine not feeling this way.  

So, the first question, "how much have you loved?"  is worthy of true introspection and a few more blogs on the topic.  Until next time, pledge to love enough and see how it changes your daily life.  Dr. D.