Lessons From the Life of Pi

Lessons from the Life of Pi:

There are many lessons throughout this wonderfully complex movie …too many to write about in today’s newsletter.  Some of those lessons I will be blogging about at www.blogsot.com/drdilley.
However, if you have not watched the movie, please do so and focus (for the purpose of this article) on the part of the movie where Pi trains Richard Parker.  (Richard Parker is the tiger’s name.)
In this segment of the movie a lot of lessons have already been learned by Pi, especially a really important, but perhaps harsh lesson (sometimes in life we need a bit of harshness to get the point).  That lesson was:  tigers are tigers and they are carnivores.  They will eat you.
Pi’s father taught him that lesson when Pi was very young and he was getting ready to feed the tiger by hand.  For those of you who are parents, think about how quickly you react when your young child runs out into the middle of oncoming traffic.  A good parent does not say, “Now Jimmy or Susie, don’t do that.”  A good parent grabs the child from the middle of the intersection and proceeds to find a way to express how dangerous that action was and insist it never ever happen again.
Pi learned that lesson and it came in very handy when he was in the middle of the ocean for days, if not weeks, on the same boat as Richard Parker.  Pi was clearly intimidated and afraid and spends most of his time on a very poorly made raft, keeping a safe distance from Richard Parker.  Richard Parker on the other hand enjoyed the boat, with shade and lots of space.
This raises the therapeutic question,  “What are you doing on the raft when your fear is ruling you from the much more comfortable life boat?”
Finally, when Pi became more and more uncomfortable on the raft, he decided it was time to train Richard Parker.  The battle between human and beast - or you and your fear - begins.
In the beginning, the training did not go well and Richard Parker maintained control of the lifeboat.  But one day, Pi decided that perhaps it was a good idea to make Richard Parker seasick.  The next few scenes are a brilliant display of Pi rocking Richard Parker’s luxurious lifeboat while using the gentleness of the whistle to comfort Richard Parker.   The whistle created interest in Richard Parker and he began to pay attention to the whistle.  From that point on, Richard Parker and Pi created a safe dance between the two of them and they were able to co-exist with mutual respect and awareness; they needed each other.

Who is Richard Parker (fear) in your life?
How is Richard Parker taking over your life and your comfort zone?
How can you begin to train your fear to be under the trance of your whistle in order for you and your fear can co-exist?

Perhaps your fear will never go away or perhaps one day it will walk away in respect to your needs, as Richard Parker left Pi lying on the beach.  But none the less, for now your fear is like Richard Parker, an untamed tiger that needs to be trained in order for you to move forward in your life.  I invite you to write about you and your relationship to your fear pretending your fear is a wild beast that if given a chance will eat you alive.  See what comes up for you.

If you want to explore this metaphor more fully, you can email at drdilley@psycyhcotherapyunlimted.com to make an appointment to explore what this movie can do for you.

The Seven Last Words of Christ -Labyrinth Meditation for Good Friday

I wrote this meditation at the request of the Pastor for Foothills Christian, in honor of Good Friday.  For those of you who have a Labyrinth nearby you can copy this and take it to walk or you can use it for a reflective meditation and journaling prayer.

The Seven Last Words of Christ: Reflections for Good Friday as you walk the Labyrinth.  This worksheet or worship sheet is intended to be a guide to help you stay focused on the significance of Christ’s Death on the Cross.  How does it apply to you and your personal situation today March 29, 2013?

“Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34

Father as I walk this first circuit of the labyrinth I ask that you forgive me for……….  When I reacted the way I did I was impulsive and selfish and did not know what I was doing.   Forgive me.

“I assure you today you will be with me in Paradise.” Luke 23:43

Father as I walk this second circuit of the Labyrinth I need your assurance, your love, your tenderness that I will be with you in Paradise, not only in the end, but today, Father.  May I learn to experience your Heaven on earth today?

“Dear Woman, Here is Your Son.”  John 19:26

(Place your name at the end of the sentence.
Imagine Jesus looking into His Mother’s eyes and telling her, Dear Woman here is your son, ____________or your daughter, ____________________.  What would it be like to establish a relationship with Mary the Mother of Jesus in such an intimate way?  Whatever comes up for you with this reflection remember it and write it down later.  Jesus would not have given John to his mother if it did not have a significance.

“My God, My God, Why have you abandoned me?”  Mark 15:34

(On this fourth circuit of the labyrinth) Hear Jesus cry out to God.  He feels abandoned.  If you were going to be as honest with God today as Jesus was on the cross, what would your anguish cry, My God, My God why have you_______________________________?


“I am Thirsty.” John 19:28

At this point on the Labyrinth you can see the Center again.  You are almost there but yet there ate still two more circuits.  What do you Thirst for?  What are your longings that do not feel Satisfied?


“It is finished!”  John 19:30

Jesus cries out, “It is finished.”  What do you need to finish?  What do you need to let go of that keeps you in anguish?  We create our own anguish by holding on to people, memories, events, past wounds, future calamities and in this display of it is finished, there is a surrender to the way things are.  What do you need to finish?



“Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands.”  Luke 23:46

Last Circuit, Almost there.  Don’t Rush.  Take your time.  You are about to inner the Womb of God, the Belly of the Most High, The Holy of Holies.  Breath.  Breath in. Breath out.  God WAITS for you there.  Entrust your spirit into his Hands.

As you let go into the Womb of God, the center of the labyrinth, allow yourself to stay there as long as you would like.  You can sit, kneel, stand, or even dance.   Allow your self to reflect again on what you have just heard in these last seven words of Jesus.   Notice what it is like inside of your body now.   How do you feel?  What do you need?  Imagine God with you there in the center.  When your thirst has been met, and you feel that you are ready to return walk through each of the seven circuits again reflectively.  Maybe on the way out you will want to read these words out loud.   Take some time at the end to prayerfully reflect on what this experience has been like for you.

You will probably find this experience more meaningful if you take some time to write about the experience, especially about being Mary’s Son or Daughter.

Shame and How it Can Effect Your Faith Negatively

Faith, spirituality, God, religion, church, dogma, and belief systems affect your life in many ways on a daily basis. Faith and religion can be unifying forces and they can also be the most divisive forces on the planet. Perhaps your family had a rule dictated that you never to talk about your religious beliefs because sometimes religious discussions can lead to many family misgivings. Do you have any of those stories in your family? On the other hand, perhaps your family was very committed to their religious system and felt a need and responsibility to share it with others, in order that they too could find the peace and solace your family enjoyed in their particular brand of faith. Perhaps, you had no particular belief system and wondered through-out your life why other people spent half of their weekends in church? Most people have stories about faith and growing up in your family of origin. It might be eye opening as you sit with your journal and list some of the memories and events that you experienced in your family about faith and religion.

Faith is a complex subject but can really assist you with shame reduction once you clear out some old scenes and scripts from your childhood belief system. However, in order to clear out the old faith scripts you really have to do some work on our own faith system.

James Fowler (1996) in his book Faithful Change: The Personal and Public Challenges of Postmodern Life echoes for us some of Erik Erickson’s work on developmental stages, but focuses on the stages of faith development. Fowler identifies seven stages of faith development as well as describes significant differences between faith and religion. He distinguishes between the two by recognizing religion as a cumulative collection of beliefs and actions practiced by groups of people who believe the same things. Faith is personal, inclusive of unconscious dynamics of formation of our individual values, morals, and beliefs. Fowler (pg.56) identifies personal faith as that which gives coherence and direction to individual lives, linking them to shared trusts and loyalties with others, and enabling the individual and/or the group to face and deal with the struggles of the daily difficulties of life.

It is the daily dealing with the difficulties of life where shame can wreak havoc with your emotional and intellectual self. If you have discovered, through my writings about shame that you suffer from large amounts of shame about whom and how you are in the world, you might view God as angry, hostile, and out to get you. Alternatively, you may believe that God has no interest in you because you are just bad to the core. Even if you grew up in a particular faith based religious group that taught you about a benevolent God who is trustworthy and on your side, it still might be a struggle for you to be able to make the emotional connection to a benevolent God because of your shame scripts. As a shame based individual that has internalized that there is something incredibly wrong with you, it may be difficult for you to tolerate positive affect in sufficient doses to believe that God could possibly love you and be on your side. Remembering that one of the positive affects is that of interest and the other of joy, a shame based individual often gives up on interest in God, faith, religion because even the idea of God being benevolent is too difficult to even entertain.



Writing exercises:

What is your first memory/thought about God?

Was there a time that God became more that just a word to you?

Was that time positive or negative?

How are your believes the same or different to those messages now?

If you were “nakedly” honest with yourself, does shame, shameful feeling, memories, or events in the past interfere with your faith in God?