Sunday, July 20, 2014




Just as in juxtaposition the subtleties do make a difference.  How many times have your feelings been hurt unnecessarily because you heard a NUANCE in someone’s voice? Perhaps, they were having a bad day! Often the words, actions, and facial expressions become personalized because you pick up a NUANCE and made up a painful story about it rather than check it out.  A NUANCE deserves the common courtesy of a question, such as; “I noticed your face seemed tense as you answered me. Is there something going on that I am not aware of?”  If you make more out of a NUANCE than necessary and don’t check them out then it is possible you are setting yourself up to be unnecessarily miserable.  However, the opposite applies too.  NUANCES are important communication markers and as a result need to be respected.  If you are oblivious to social cues then you may be setting yourself up for some brutal communication eruptions.  Clear communication is always the best policy but for the most part we are not very good at it.  A lot of communication is NUANCE communication and it is our responsibility to clarify the NUANCE rather than ignore it or make up a story about it.  A gentle, “I am sorry that I upset you, is more specific and appropriate than a curt, “I am sorry IF I upset you.”   The NUANCE is in the tone and in the word choice.  Nothing is very subtle about those in juxtaposition unless you tend to walk around clueless.   Check out the NUANCES in your daily life. 

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