YOUR LIFE A-Z:ACHIEVE

AN ACHIEVEMENT DURING LIFE'S JOURNEY

ACHIEVE

ACHIEVE is the perfect word to follow yesterday’s zealous.  What does this emotionally loaded word ACHIEVE mean to you?  Does the word ACHIEVE make you feel energized and create that sense of “just do it,” inside of your being?  Or does the word ACHIEVE come with a mother-load of guilt that chides you with messages of,  “you should have had this accomplished by now?”  Either way, it is time to neutralize the emotional impact of this word and get to work ACHIEVING your dreams.  List three major things you want to ACHIEVE.   Ask yourself by what date and time do you want them ACHIEVED?  Then create a plan of action with specific steps as to how you are going to ACHIEVE the stated goals. Do not try to ACHIEVE these three goals at the same time.  Make one of these goals a priority and get to work on it immediately in order to build a sense of accomplishment.  Examine the why of this goal.  What will it mean to you once it is ACHIEVED?  How will your life be different as a result of ACHIEVING this goal?  Is the difference this goal is going to make enough of a reward for you?  To ACHIEVE your goals takes a zealous energy that speaks deep in your heart, not allowing for obstacles to interrupt you.  There are always obstacles along the path to ACHIEVEMENT.  Obstacles create opportunities to make your ACHIEVEMENT more meaningful.  To ACHIEVE is to thrive and to thrive is be filled with an inner sense of personal ACHIEVEMENT. Go for it.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:FINISH

NO MATTER WHAT THE TASK...FINISH IT!

FINISH

FINISH it.  Don’t procrastinate and keep putting off that to-do list of yours.  FINISH it.  Where are the loose ends in your life?  What unfinished project is nagging at you to finish it?  What is it about this unfinished business that keeps you from accomplishing what you set out to do?  Energy is renewed, goals are refreshed and dreams are re-launched when space clears out in our daily life because projects get FINISHED.   If you sit with yourself and ask what is it that stops me from FINISHING my project and write down six reasons that you are not FINISHING what you set out to do, you may discover really important information about yourself.  Perhaps you think you feel overwhelmed but if you allow yourself to be self-reflective you might discover that you never really did not want to do this project in the first place.  Or perhaps you are disappointed that the project is not what you thought it would be?  There are many reasons that the FINISH line is often illusive in our daily life.  FINISH can only happen when you have at least 90% buy in and investment in the project. Something inside of you is giving your resistance and you need to make peace with that resistance or bypass it to FINISH.  FINISHING projects, unfinished interpersonal business, and your daily to do list will allow you to feel a sense of accomplishment and new life and energy will be available for you to move on to new goals and dreams. 

YOUR LIFE A-Z: ZYGOTE

Everything Starts from a Spark

ZYGOTE

Researchers estimate that 60% of all naturally occurring conceptions fail because the ZYGOTE never becomes properly implanted in the uterus.  Kendra Cherry references in, About Psychology, a ZYGOTE is a one- celled organism created after the egg has been fertilized.  What does a ZYGOTE have to do with your dreams and goals?  In order for a ZYGOTE to make it to the uterus, it must rapidly divide into many cells.  In order for your dream or goal to be birthed, it must be properly planted in your heart (uterus). When you plant your dream or desire in your heart you have to provide for the ZYGOTE a nutrient enriched environment for it to be able to multiply and divide rapidly.  If 60% of those dreams and desires are going to fail then you have to keep replanting and focus on the 40% that are going to grow and flourish.  Think of your personal goals as ZYGOTE ideas.  An idea is just an idea.  You can have a hundred different ideas a day.  Forty percent of those ideas can develop into dreams and goals if you provide the ZYGOTE idea with the necessary steps to become a reality.  Nothing just happens.  All things come to life with proper attention to detail, planning, and “tweaking” what doesn’t work until the ZYGOTE grows hands, feet, heart, lungs, and brain to become a mobile and viable life force to reward you with the joy of staying with the process until the hard work pays off.  Don’t be discouraged by the 60%, focus on the 40% that survive.  

YOUR LIFE TO A-Z: VICTORY

VICTORY IS BEING YOUR BEST SELF

VICTORY

VICTORY is defined as an act of defeating an opponent or defeating a competitor.  The Twenty Minute Coach has over 120 blogged words at this time.  If you go back and look at them you will happily discover that you have put into action many of the words by applying the suggested steps.  It is usually a good idea to review where you have been so that you can re-define where you go from here.  But more importantly, it is essential to celebrate your VICTORY.  These past few words have been very action orientated such as Rigorous, Task, Simplify and Unilateral.  All of them require applied action steps.  Examine your successes.  Be blatantly honest with yourself.  Do not focus on any of your so-called failures right now, only focus on your successes and improvements.  Remember you are not looking for all or nothing; you are looking for well-measured steps to your goal.  What VICTORIES can you list right now?  List at least three VICTORIES.  Then enhance it to five and then stretch the list to seven.  You have VICTORY.  You have just been programmed and socialized to focus on your imperfections and failures and often told that celebrating a VICTORY will make you vain.  That is not true.  Celebrating your VICTORY will pump you up and make you want more VICTORY in your life.  You will look for ways to compete with yourself and others to have the opportunity to celebrate VICTORY.  Have a VICTORY party for yourself.  Celebrate your VICTORIES weekly.  Enjoy. 

YOUR LIFE A-Z IMAGERY

IMAGERY IS HEALING

IMAGERY

IMAGERY is not some new age abracadabra.  IMAGERY is a neuroscience that has ancient roots in many indigenous cultures.  IMAGERY when designed correctly and used specifically can help you accomplish physical and emotional healing in real ways.  In my book, IN A MOMENT’S NOTICE: A Psychologist’s Journey with Breast Cancer, I speak about the importance of guided imagery in my own physical healing process.  My story tells you how and why I became a believer.  IMAGERY is one of the most powerful tools you can use for physical and emotional healing and also to accomplish your Goals that you just set for yourself.  The fancy word for IMAGERY is psychoneuroimmunology.  That is the science of how and why IMAGERY works.  This is another tool that requires congruency between your Honest belief, your brain, and your body.  If your mind is saying “Yes,” while your stomach is screaming, “No,” then you have a dissonance that must be addressed.  Perhaps a journal letter from your stomach to you might help resolve the problem.  Congruency is the key to IMAGERY being effective.  Here are a few facts: Imagery ---

Guided imagery has to be designed to hit all of our senses as only 55% of people actually visualize activity in their imagination.  (Naperstack)

The International Journal of Neuroscience (Trakhtenberg) described how imagery elevated immune system functioning and how cell specific imagery affects corresponding white blood counts, neutrophils and lymphocytes.

In 2012 MD Anderson (Cohen et al) a randomized controlled study, showed that men with prostate cancer that used diaphragmatic breathing and guided imagery had significantly higher levels of natural killer cell cytoxicity, higher levels of circulating pro inflammatory cytokines, and higher tumor necrosis.

Names in the industry: Bell Ruth Naperstack , Bernie Siegel,  Stephanie and Carol Dimonon, Larry LeShan, Jeanne Achterberg, and Shakti Gaiwan .

YOUR LIFE A-Z:XEBEC

XEBEC

How appropriate that xebec follows warrior.  A xebec is a three sail, sailing vessel used mostly in the Mediterranean as trading vessels.  They had little depth and often used oars to help them propel fast through the waters.  Thus, they had a versatile ability to adapt to the weather and wind conditions.  The xebec’s long overhand gave it the appearance of looking larger than it actually was.  In the days of trading, pirates would come out of nowhere, attempting to overpower the vessels but the crew were well equipped with guns to protect themselves from those who did not work to get the useful articles of trade aboard the vessels.  

The warrior you created yesterday wants to stand guard on your xebec and make sure that those pirates and scavengers that try to board your ship are booted off and you can sail fearlessly into the dreams you are creating.  You have precious articles of trade aboard you xebec and you need help of the inner warrior to protect them.  You trade your time; energy and talent for the pay check your boss gives out.  That is your value to the work environment and it needs to be honored.  Your patience, discipline, and love that you give your children are your precious articles of trade and you deserve respect and appreciation in return.  Your gifts of friendship and empathy deserve fair trade in your relationships.  Do not let lazy pirates take away all the joy you have traded so hard for.  Let your inner warrior stand guard so you can move fast and furious in your xebec.  

YOUR LIFE A-Z:INTEGRITY

WITHSTANDING ALL TYPES OF WEATHER, CREATES A STATELY SELF

INTEGRITY

Barbara Killinger, PhD., in her book Integrity: Doing the right thing for the right reason, says on page 12, “Integrity is a personal choice, an uncompromising and predictably consistent commitment to honor moral, ethical, spiritual and artistic values and principles.” The Twenty Minute Coach says, integrity is necessary for your own personal happiness.  You are You!  You need to celebrate and honor yourself everyday, twenty-four hours a day.  If you compromise your value, your honesty, your commitment to honor your truth then you lose yourself piece by piece.  Maybe at first you don’t realize it, but as the days turn into months and the months turn into years you become more and more asleep and begin to feel as if life has passed you by. Personal integrity is as important as your health.  Without it, you lose your sense of importance and risk becoming a chameleon.  

Today, start asking yourself, “Who am I?”  “What matters to me?”  Listen to yourself when you are in a conversation with others. Do you do the right thing by you or do you go along with the conversation because you are afraid of what your friends will think?  Listen to your inner voice when you are watching politics on TV.  What is your opinion?   Write each day about how you used your voice and thoughts to speak up for yourself and practice your own sense of integrity.  Writing it out will help you become clear, and the clarity will help you really know who you are and what it is that you believe.  

YOUR LIFE A-Z HEALTHY

HEALTHY

It has been said that if we don’t have our health, we have nothing.  That is so true.  If you don’t take physical care of your body, your immune system, and your brain then it will not run optimally.  Think about what happens to your car if you don’t keep it tuned up?  What happens to your lawn if you don’t attend to it?  What happens to your nails and hair if you don’t keep them groomed? Well, the same thing happens to your intestines, heart, lungs, stomach, muscles and neurotransmitters if you don’t keep them tuned up.  

How do you do that? The first step is you have to develop interest in YOU.  Being healthy must become a priority and for anything to move up the list to the top priority (top 3) there must be an interest.  The whole healthy picture is too much at one time. So what part of being healthy interests you?  Is it eating better?  If so, start in small, doable bites to insure success.  Add more vegetables this month andeliminate one unhealthy food.  Maybe exercise interests you instead of dietary change. Start something small but consistently this month.  Add some exercise that you can be successful, such as walk ten or twenty minutes three times a week.  Then execute it.  Make it happen.  Without execution even on the days you don’t want to do it, you will end up failing.  Will power will follow something that you have an interested investment in.  Get interested in your health and begin executing a doable plan today.  

YOUR LIFE A-Z: CLEAR

CLEAR

It seems appropriate that the word "Clear" should follow the word "Brilliant."   If you allow yourself to accept your brilliance and smartness, your ability to move forward in life the way you want then becomes clear; and crystal clear about what you want to different in your life this year.  If you refuse to become clear, either because you are afraid and insecure, or your ability to self-sabotage yourself is so high you continue to let life interfere with your living.  Being clear about what you want requires that you do the hard work of defining who you are.  Reflect back on the word "Value," and ask yourself how clear you are about what you really value?  How clear are you about your health?  How clear are you about what makes you happy?  Mainly, how clear are you about the fact that in order to acquire your heart's desire this year you will need hard work, focus, diligence, and planning.  What is step 1 and, how are you going to get clear about accomplishing it and move on to the next necessary steps?  Let the clouds move out of your brain and let the sunshine in as you train your brain to see the details of what needs to be done.  Let the murky waters from your last distressful situation settle as you calm your thoughts and focus on redirecting yourself. Life is hard, so what?  Use your brilliance to create a clear focus.  You can do it.  Now believe it.   

YOUR LIFE A-Z YES

YES! Opens Possibilities and Options 

YES

Say yes to life today.  Stop putting off all of those things you have wanted to do but never got the courage to do or thought you did not have the money, or whatever excuse you kept feeding yourself.  Today is the day to say YES.  Decide to really get into the stream of life and stop sitting on the side-lines wishing and wanting with your would have -could have-should haves.  Say yes. 

Name the first three things that come to mind when you think about what you have always or (even recently) wanted to do but just could not make a plan to do it.  Out of those three things on your list, choose one that you are going to set your mind to go and do.  It doesn't have to meet someone else's criteria, it does not have to be practical.  It only has to be something you have wanted to do or to have. 

Now ask yourself the three questions: 

What do I need to do to make this into a YES?

How do I do those things?

What is the first step? 

Start there. Once you start acting on your YES, you will be surprised at how much energy will begin to flow into your being to make it happen.  Yes, there will be obstacles, perhaps lots of obstacles, but obstacles are also overcome one step at a time.  So when you hit your first obstacle, remember your YES and use the three questions to get around, through or over your obstacle and back into your YES.

 Photo: RBDilley 

YOUR LIFE A-Z REACH

Reach For It!

REACH

Stop expecting things to be delivered to you. Reach for what you want.  Stretch across the table, the aisles, and the negativity.  If other people can have it so can you.  You are no better or worse than those around you.  Stop being jealous about what others have and reach for what you want.  If you are not reaching, then it clearly is not important to you.  Don't judge yourself for that.  Just let it go and reach for what is really important to you.  Going out for pizza is so much better than having it delivered.  Pizza in a box is soggy.  A pizza that you reach across the table for is so much better.  Life is better if it is not handed to you.  You will appreciate your successes more. You will realize that you put your sweat and maybe even tears in what it is that you want.  It means more to you.  

Reach for the stars.  The stars are so far away and it often seems like we can never get there.  But if we use our bodies to stretch upwards to the stars we become more agile, our leg muscles elongate as we sweep down and touch our toes.  We feel empowered by this simple exercise and we learn to reach as far as we can.  Reach for  the choices you want. Who cares if what you want is across the table rather than instead of right it front of you. Reach for what you want.  Stretch into your differences and be who you are.

Photo: Pam Smead

Your Life A-Z JOY

THE SNOW LION IS ALWAYS FULL OF JOY

JOY

Joy is a feeling of great pleasure and delight.  Joy follows the word interest because we have only nine innate affects (that means we have hard-wiring in our biology that generates anger, distress, sadness, dissmell, shame, disgust, interest, joy and surprise).  As I alluded to in yesterday’s word, interest, without interest there is no real joy. We do not experience joy in our relationships, work, family, friends, hobbies, or chores unless we have some interest in them.  Some people hate to clean house and if they have no real interest in having a clean house, they usually don’t clean house. However, if they have a vested interested in a clean house, even though they may hate housework, they feel a sense of joy and accomplishment when it is done!  Learning how to cultivate interest will lead naturally to more joy in your days and weeks ahead. 

Today, what do you imagine will bring you great joy and delight?  Cultivate it as if you were making a special cake for your birthday.  List the ingredients you will need to experience a delicious sensation of joy and then go out and accomplish making a joyful event in your life. 

Your Life A-Z INTEREST

Don't Let the Sun Set on Your Dreams

INTEREST

What really flips your switch?  What is it that you love to do?  If you had one day to spend doing anything you wanted, what would it be?  Don’t be flip about this.  Think about it. How do you spend your time and do you enjoy spending it that way?  If we do not develop interest in what we spend most of our time doing, then we get bored and boredom leads to depression, anxiety, and a multitude of other negative activities in our life. 

What draws your attention is one way to think about interest.  If you are in a room with different people, how do you choose which one to strike up a conversation with?  Or a very practical level, check your closets and garage, how many unfinished projects have you stuffed away somewhere?  The real reasons they are stuffed away is not because you ran out of time, but you did run out of interest and as a result choose other activities over completing whatever that is stuffed in your closet.  Without interest there is no motivation.  No one dates anyone that they are not interested in for very long unless perhaps the non-interested person becomes interested in changing the person they are dating.  That is not interest in the date; it is a clear invested interest in changing someone else into your own image.  So, be careful, interest is tricky.  But certainly by the end of today, be able to list three different things that interest you.  For instance, hiking, cooking, or your favorite football team. 

Your Life A-Z GO

GO! The Sky is Your Limit. 

GO

Go is an action word.  Go after it - as in, fetch it from yesterday.  However, did you know that GO is also a game, a very ancient Asian game?   It is a game of black and white round stones with simple rules that allows its players to enter a meditative state of focus.  It is often said that you will not get where you are going unless you focus on where and how to get there.  Where are you going this year?  How are you going to achieve your desired goal?  See, if I had chosen the word "goal" for the first “G” word of the year, you could have easily felt burdened.  “Oh my, do I really have to work so hard at this?”  So, I chose a playful word again.  “Go,” literally means don’t stay.  Move.  Get up.  Change your position.  Go.  Get on your mark, get set, and go!  Go forward now. Take another step toward your goal. 

Photo:RbDilley