Thursday, September 11, 2014



Here is a thought provoking word.  Early on in clinical psychology classes we were taught about secondary GAIN.   Secondary GAIN it a “positive feedback loop” that a client gets for a certain behavior.  For instance the black sheep of the family gets to be the center of conversation and worry because everyone is talking about him/her and trying to help him/her be better.  That black sheep has secondary GAIN, meaning that it is all about him/her.  Chaos in families is often a secondary GAIN.  Chaotic families never have a dull moment because life is continuing to bring a string of bad-luck or keeps the family pre-occupied with how bad things are.  As a result the family does not take responsibility for any of chaos because the family views it as something that is happening to them.  Whiny people get to complain because he/she finds an audience who will listen to how awful life is.  Thus this raises the question to you,  “What do you GAIN by doing what you are doing in your life?”  Do you stay stuck because it is safer than changing?  Do you stay overweight to GAIN a constant struggle in order to not focus on your behavior.  GAIN is something you get by investing something into the mix.  If you save money you GAIN interest, a reward for saving.  Secondary GAINS are paradoxical and at first you will fight this idea that you are getting something positive from your bad choices and decisions.  But non-the less you are receiving GAIN (interest) on your poor decisions.  So change them.

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