YOUR LIFE A-Z: JOIN

JOINING EACH OTHER ENHANCES OUR VITALITY

JOIN

Join something! Quit sitting on the sidelines of life and get out and JOIN something.  Preferably JOIN something you are passionate about,  but if passion is lacking JOIN a group to learn something new or to stretch you outside of your comfort zone.  Belonging to a community is a great mental health booster and very necessary for a well-rounded life.  JOINING a cause, a group, a class, or even a gym gives you a sense of purpose and you need to experience a sense of purpose to feel good about who you are.  If you are reading this and are totally lost as to what or how to JOIN something new, go to www.meetup.com and enter your zip code.  You will be surprised how many activities of a variety of areas are out there just waiting for you to JOIN.  (Disclaimer: There are always scenarios that one can find that are not healthy or good for you, but for the most part if you are not looking for deviance, you won’t find it on meetup.com) Meetup.com can help you find book clubs, hiking groups, four-wheeling, and cooking groups or anything else that interest you.  The point is for you to stop being a “lurker” in your own life and be a participant.  Get out and JOIN something new to alleviate the rut you have dug yourself into.  If after three or four times in your newly JOINED group, it is not working for you.  Stop and JOIN something different.  The old adage of try and try again is true on this important word, JOIN. 

YOUR LIFE A-Z: IGNITE

IGNITE

IGNITE YOUR SOUL FOR LIFE

IGNITE means to render luminous by heat , which is a perfect command for your life.  IGNITE your life to become full by heating it up to make it luminous in every way.  You are not alone if the spark has gone out or diminished in your life.  The inner spark often fades when it becomes ignored by the drudgery of daily life.  Think about a campfire.  It does not last all night and has to re-lit every evening to continue to provide the mystery and magic of camping.  IGNITE your daily life as if it is an amazing campfire waiting for you to show up and tell your story to your fireside community.  The dimness of natural light and the brightness of the campfire makes everyone’s face luminous sitting around the fire.  The atmosphere becomes magical and stories are shared that have been kept secret in the daylight.  Something shifts and changes as the light is IGNITED and the flame begins to develop a life of its own.  Nurture the IGNITED flame within your heart, prod it and provide it with the necessary wood and kindling to develop into the amazing gift you have been waiting for.  IGNITE the stories, dreams and desires within you. Choose a space, a time, and the resources you need to IGNITE what you love just as if you are preparing a campfire.  A campfire for one has a particular meditative feel to it.  A campfire IGNITED for the community builds a resource that grows beyond it.   IGNITE something within and watch what happens.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:HOLIDAY

REJOICE AND CELEBRATE EVERY HOLIDAY

HOLIDAY

The HOLIDAY season comes at the best time of the year, starting in fall and finishing in the heart of winter.  From Halloween until Valentine’s Day there is a HOLIDAY to look forward to with opportunity for plenty of hallmark moments.  However, the HOLIDAY season can be marred with ghosts from times past that you need to clear out in order to celebrate and take every opportunity to be fully alive in the HOLIDAY season.  Hallmark and commercialism have over-burdened and over stimulated many of us with all of the glitz that HOLIDAY’S are becoming burdensome surrounded by clouds of should and have-to.  Do not allow commercialism to ruin the enjoyment and zest that can be yours during this magical time of the year.  Choose the HOLIDAY you enjoy the most and celebrate it fully the way you that brings you the most enjoyment.  Then for the rest of the HOLIDAYS choose one part of the HOLIDAY to truly participate in.  For instance if you live near family and have to do HOLIDAY meals on Christmas morning, afternoon, and evening as well as a big celebration on Christmas eve, you know that already.  So rather than resist it pre-plan and prepare what you are going to take, organize it and have it off of your to do list. As a result of these obligations, trim down on other HOLIDAY have-to obligations and learn to say no to the cookie exchange and last minute wrapping and gift buying.  Pre-plan the obligations and enjoy the HOLIDAY that you love the most.

YOUR LIFE A-Z: GHOST

GHOSTS OF THE PAST SHOW UP IN STRANGE PLACES

GHOST

GHOST is a perfect word for this time of the year.  GHOSTS for example are a permanent fixture for Halloween traditions.  Or perhaps you prefer the hotels believing to have GHOST who live and visit the guest during his/her hotel stay.  I don’t know what you believe about GHOSTS, but I do know you have a GHOST. 

Play this game with yourself by making a list of your grandparents, parents, and siblings.  Then choose two words to define each of those people.  Next, answer this question for each family member, “what is your mother’s message to you about you?”  Answer that question for each person on your list.  Perhaps your dad’s message to you is something like, “you will never amount to anything.”  Now, remind yourself how often you play that message back to yourself throughout the day.  Ah-ha, you have discovered one of the GHOSTS in your life.  This GHOST shows up at work, in your parenting, in your finances, and in your relationships.  There are many other GHOSTLY messages in your life that haunt you.  Some of those messages you have never told to anyone and have probably become so used to hearing it, you may not even notice it anymore.  Writing your family genogram, just like above, will help you identify the GHOST in your life.  Other bad memories from childhood scenes at school, church, or a friend’s house can also haunt you like a GHOST; popping out of nowhere when you least expect it.  Become a GHOST buster in your personal life and get rid of those unnecessary and scary messages of your past.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:FAITH

ALL THINGS ARE SOLVED BY WALKING...

FAITH

FAITH is a word that often is tossed around in religious venues.  FAITH also implies a complete trust and confidence in a person you are in close relationship.   As the TWENTY-MINUTE COACH, I am going to introduce you to the James Fowler’s work, The Stages of FAITH.   Fowler outlines stages of FAITH just like Erik Erickson teaches about developmental stages of growing up.  Fowler contends that we grow up in our FAITH.   The six stages are:

Stage 0 (0-2) Primal –Undifferentiated where babies learn to trust or mistrust the environment

Stage I  (3-5) Intuitive-Projective struggles between imagination and logic

Stage II (school age) Mythic-Literal very concrete about justice and fairness

Stage III (12-adulthood) Synthetic- Conventional learning to be logical, deduct reason and understand abstract thought

Stage IV (20’s-30’s) Individual-Reflective marked with angst and struggle taking responsibility for FAITH beliefs.

Stage V (mid-life) Conjunctive often a look into the unconscious self

Stage VI (later stage) Universal Faith practicing compassion to all people

To read more about the stages go to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fowler's_stages_of_faith_development

The point of investigating these stages is that often people become stuck in a certain stage and his/her FAITH becomes stagnated.   I experience many people stuck in Stage I where God is more like Santa Claus who is quite magical.  The goal of adulthood is to move toward a Universal FAITH and co-exist compassionately with all beings.  FAITH is progressive and healing when we allow ourselves to grow up.  Growing up is a part of becoming whole and embracing our FAITH by taking personal responsibility for our beliefs is part of being a healthy adult.