Monday, October 6, 2014
YOUR LIFE A-Z: FEELINGS
It takes microseconds to register FEELINGS within your body and those FEELINGS are responses to your personal biological Affects, empowered by your scripts (history and belief system). The coaching process helps clients identify FEELINGS building an awareness of connection between the past and the present. For instance, if you are walking down a grocery isle and you hear a mother shame her child by saying something like, “Don’t act so stupid,” at first you may just be annoyed at the bad parenting. Being annoyed is a FEELING. Depending on your own childhood history and personal experience with shaming messages, you may discover that in a few hours you are experiencing deep sadness or anger. Sadness and anger are part of your nine-affect family. At first you may not make the connection between your sadness and anger and the earlier grocery store scene. However, if you will explore your affects you may come across personal childhood scenes where you were shamed publically several times. Now, your system is beginning to put the pieces of the puzzle together and your memory elicits other FEELINGS such as betrayal, hurt, and discouragement about your childhood. FEELINGS are internal radar systems that help us live more in the present by being emotionally healthy. When all of this activity lurks in the unconscious then often non-productive behaviors take over such as overeating, using substances, or checking out emotionally in front of the TV for hours. FEELINGS are important to pay attention too whether they seem small like, “annoyed” or big like “betrayal.” Make a pledge to stay connected to what you are FEELING. I guess you could say FEELINGS are personal greetings not to be ignored.